Jupiter Ascending Reviews

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February 5, 2015
The credits for "Jupiter Ascending" acknowledge nearly 1,600 artists, technicians, visual imagineers, and pixel-pushers who have labored mightily to bring this story to life. Their efforts only reveal the underlying conceptual hollowness.
February 5, 2015
A theatrical feature that, in a rational universe, would never have been put in production, let alone seen the light of day.
Top Critic
February 5, 2015
It's not bad in that fascinating, Wachowskian way-it's bad in the same way as most bad sci-fi.
February 5, 2015
For the sake of Neo, Morpheus, the red pill, [and] the blue pill... it would be great to report that the Wachowskis indeed got their groove back. But the only groove they're going to see is the one on multiplex floors as moviegoers stampede the exits.
February 5, 2015
Few will be sorry to have seen "Jupiter Ascending." The Wachowskis have devised a compelling universe, and if they want to continue exploring it for a sequel or two, well, for once that's probably a good idea.
February 5, 2015
There's simply not enough time to give any of these stories their due, so instead, each one feels abbreviated. Sometimes, during conspicuous editing, you can almost see where more movie was supposed to exist, like a narrative with phantom limbs.
February 5, 2015
Instead of a cinematic drag queen like the guilty pleasure "The Fifth Element," "Jupiter Ascending" is a mutant that's mostly dog.
February 5, 2015
Talk about lost in space.
February 5, 2015
The Wachowskis have officially begun cannibalizing their own work.
February 5, 2015
The story is laughably inane and uninvolving.
February 5, 2015
The movie's a fascinating mess, grand and gaudy, often hilarious.
February 5, 2015
Like many fantasy features by the Wachowskis, this is a wonder to behold, full of minutely realized gadgetry, but a chore to follow, full of barely realized characters.
February 5, 2015
The worst movie the Wachowskis have ever made.
February 5, 2015
Not even Channing Tatum and Mila Kunis are enough to save the Wachowskis' gnarly, garish space opera.
February 5, 2015
If you figure it out, let me know.
February 5, 2015
The Wachowskis trade their "Matrix" magic for the silliest space opera since "Flash Gordon."
February 5, 2015
What's sort of remarkable is the way the Wachowskis manage to digest all of their high- and low-brow influences into something like a cohesive worldview.
February 5, 2015
This movie is worse than bad. Let's try "epically awful" on for size. "Insanely bloated"; that works. Me, I'll settle for "just plain silly."
February 4, 2015
Jupiter Ascending feels like a truncated, Cliffs Notes version of something that might have worked a lot better as a mini-series. Two hours is too short for this tale and the end result suffers greatly because of that restriction.
February 4, 2015
The Wachowskis' vision has turned out to be kitsch: reheated tales of good v evil and interplanetary conflict, all dressed up in HR Giger-meets-RuPaul couture.
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