Louis Booker: I put the money in the jacket, and the jacket on the kangaroo, and now he hoppin' away!

Jessie: Drink this.

Charlie Carbone: No, it's more than that.

Louis Booker: What's eatin' you, man?

Louis Booker: You know, Charlie, this mysterious Mr. Smith that we're gonna meet? I don't think that's his real name.

Charlie Carbone: Nothin' escapes you, Louis.

Charlie Carbone: Whoo!

Louis Booker: [In the outtakes] Come on, Waffles! Come on, girl! [To the camera] Is it a girl or a boy?

Louis Booker: [in the outtakes] Come on, Waffles! Come on, girl! [to the camera] Is it a girl or a boy?

Sal Maggio: Amorphous.

Louis Booker: REALLY don't answer that!

Louis Booker: Don't answer that.

Charlie Carbone: No.

Charlie Carbone: Drop the knife, Smith.

Charlie Carbone: Now drop the knife.

Charlie Carbone: I'm a hairdresser.

Mr. Smith: You're not wrong.

Jessie: WATCH OUT!

Charlie Carbone: LOUIS!

Charlie Carbone: How you doin'?

Louis Booker: [When Charlie and Louis get Jessie back from Mr. Smith] Mm-hmm. Yeah. We bad.

Louis Booker: [when Charlie and Louis get Jessie back from Mr. Smith] Mm-hmm. Yeah. We bad.

Louis Booker: Good choice.

Louis Booker: If you're not hungry, I can always put this back in my pocket.

Charlie Carbone: [When Louis shows him candy he can eat] Are you, like, 4 years old?

Charlie Carbone: When's the food coming? I'm starving.

Louis Booker: [Telling Charlie how much time they've got left] 14 hours.

Louis Booker: [telling Charlie how much time they've got left] 14 hours.

Charlie Carbone: You can talk!

Louis Booker: Jackie Legs!

Charlie Carbone: This is great! This is just great!

Louis Booker: Get off! Get off me! Get off me! I'm gonna roll in the grass!

Louis Booker: Oh god!

Louis Booker: Keep it together, Louis. Keep it together.

Louis Booker: [Referring to the fire ants in his pants] Charlie, they're havin' a picnic in my shorts! And I brought the sweets!

Charlie Carbone: Louis, just keep it together!

Louis Booker: All right. Keep it together, Louis. Keep it together.

Louis Booker: I can't take it no more!

Frankie: [While getting arrested] You pangy ass retards are dead. You hear me? Dead! I'll slaughter you like veal! I'll wear your eyeballs like jewelry!

Frankie: [while getting arrested] You pangy ass retards are dead. You hear me? Dead! I'll slaughter you like veal! I'll wear your eyeballs like jewelry!

Frankie: Say good night.

Charlie Carbone: [As Jackie Legs] I'm livin' in the Land Down Under!

Charlie Carbone: [as Jackie Legs] I'm livin' in the Land Down Under!

Louis Booker: We bad!