Ya' know, when you're really good at something, stick with it. Just because you excel at, let's say, coal mining, doesn't mean you should think, "Hmmmm, you know what? I'm SO good at coal mining, I'm gonna branch out and become a brain surgeon." So I'm sorry, but when superstar athlete, 7-foot-tall, 324-pound Shaquille O'Neal decided he could act? Someone should have let the guy know that's not how life works. And oh, by the way, you have the acting abilities of a tree stump. The inimitable yet often misunderstood "Shaq" stars in this film travesty as a genie who gives a picked-on boy three wishes. Well my three wishes are: 1) That the United Nations bans Shaq from ever stepping in front of a camera anywhere on Earth ever again, 2) That every athletic contract include a clause preventing athletes from pursuing film careers, and 3) That Lena gets a lifetime Grammy, it's long overdue. And so you're producing "Kazaam" and you get a giant acting novice to star, so who do you hire to direct, to help bring forth what you hope will be a good performance from this lumbering jackass? Starsky! F*cking Starsky! Yes, '70s TV icon Paul Michael Glaser directs. And just to top things off, they throw in a cameo by boyband the Backdoor Boys...er, I mean the Backstreet Boys. So that's supposed to be the recipe for a smash hit film: a jock who can't act, a '70s TV reject, and a talentless '90s 'N Sync ripoff. Okaaaaaaaay. Needless to say, I cannot recommend this film, not even to watch as a joke just to see how bad a movie can be. If you want to do that, watch "Beaches."