Killer Condom: The Rubber That Rubs You Out - Movie Reviews - Rotten Tomatoes

Killer Condom: The Rubber That Rubs You Out Reviews

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½ April 21, 2017
yes this is an actual movie.
July 13, 2014
A NYC detective (initially on the downlow) tracks this terrible device. A German film, the most comical parts were the representations of over-exaggerated American culture. Think Attack of the Killer Tomatoes meets Cruising (1980) meets Pink Flamingos. Much more drama than the title would let-on.
September 29, 2013
All I can do is laugh honestly, I just have no words :P
September 10, 2013
absolutely brilliant.
½ June 20, 2013
Say what you will... this is honestly better than it has any right to be.
Super Reviewer
April 4, 2013
Usually with a title like "Killer Condom" the general census would be to skip it. Not for me while I do like watching good films I like a departure on things every once in awhile. I had originally was going open this review in a more comedic style. I wrote down a joke about virginity, but I lost it. Oh well.

So Killer Condom begins with a vice principal taking one of his student with him to hotel "Quicky" and makes her have sex with him if she wants to graduate. The vice principal then presume to take out a "contraceptive dispenser" and then it gets eaten off. Then it cuts to a police station where first see our hero Detective Luigi Mackaroni del Cheese. It's here in the police station we learn that a pimp put his mother in a clothe dryer and then threw her out a window. What relevance does this have on the story, nothing. So long story short Mackaroni is assigned a case and begin to investigate an incident where five guys (according to the movie) "pricks" were eaten off. The weird part is despite this incident people still go to hotel "Quicky". It's here where we learn Mackaroni is gay. That's right we have an unconventional gay protagonist in a horror film. Also some homoeroticism while nothing too explicit there is some nudity, though nothing from the front.

So Mackaroni begins to "investigate" a man in his room and we find out a needless detail about his 32 know. This is where Mackaroni then first encounters a killer condom that bites one of his balls off completely. Mackaroni soon becomes the laughing stock of his police force as no one believes him there's condoms on the loose. He begins his quest to get rid of these killer condom no matter how hard it'll be. This might come as shock, but this trashy horror film actually does develop its main characters. A bit unexpected for a horror movie since characters are just chow for the killer and don't go beyond their stereotypes. One day, when Mackaroni is on stakeout to find evidence to prove to everyone there is killer condoms. He gets a hunch of a suspicious looking condom interrupting a couple and presume to shoot the condom in slow motion. He soon discover he shot a regular condom. Moments later he finds a real killer condom slivering off with someone "prick".

Makoroni unable to cope with the lost of a condom goes home to take shower where he kills a condom by blowing it up with gas. The next scene is weird for it actually explains things on the creature. According to the scientist it's "Made of human epithelial cells underlaid with peritrophic membranes". Which is a needlessly complicated way of simply saying it protects against pathogen and can improve digestion track. We soon find out these creatures are man made. Apparently a cross between a giant worm, a jellyfish and a piranha. Oddly enough this is not the weirdest thing in the movie. The scene after serves little purpose as Markoroni gets serious with his "investigation" in a elevator causing it to break. Somehow it get politics involved as the president's monument is eaten off. There a couple more scene, something about Larry King being involved, but nothing too important to the main plot.

The investigation soon leads to a church where we find out it has a secret underground lair. There Makoroni finds the scientist making these killer condoms because the church give him red jello. So why would a church kidnap a scientist to make an army of killer condoms? So they could do away with all the bad people of the world. Which is not that bad of an idea. I mean who seriously would believe anyone who said "It was the killer condoms". Sure it's flawed in the fact the villain could kill innocent people she wasn't aiming towards, but not half bad of an idea. Though more bizarre is a movie about killer condom would have a sermon about accepting everyone for who they are. Wait...I saw a horror movie about killer condoms and it has a good message unlike a majority of the films in the genre. Now that is odd.

Killer Condom: The Rubber That Rubs You Out was clearly never meant to be a masterpiece let alone a great film based on its premise. It is self aware and in the joke never taking itself too seriously. It has limited appeal in the form it has low brow humor (kinda like my review), the homoeroticism might turn off some, and cheesy romantic moments. This is best watched with group of friends if you want something to make fun off or a plain cheesy movie for a good laugh or too.
February 16, 2013
Ridiculous. Good for a few cheap laughs.
October 24, 2012
German speaking New York homosexual police officer investing a case of Killer Condom. Exactly what it says on the tin. Bizarre.
½ October 19, 2012
A Troma gem that's worth watching for some decent special effects and good laughs.
September 27, 2012
Oh Wow..i have to see this movie lol
June 6, 2012
currently watching this... but its not in english and not taking place in New York
April 25, 2012
I found this very funny when I was younger. And I still do!
March 8, 2012
February 8, 2012
This is one of the best bad excuses for a movie I've ever seen the way it was done was very cheesy. If you're ever stoned, drunk or depressed and in need of a good laugh watch this movie but don't do it if you're homophobic!
December 29, 2011
One of the strangest movies I have ever seen, and I love it for it. Just surrealy weird...
December 27, 2011
Hilarious movie with great potential to be a cult classic. Everything in this movie is over the top and a constant laugh. I loved this film. The film is shot in such a way that it looks like an old film. In fact, I thought it was an older film and then I saw that it was from 1997. Twisted, trashy and downright ridiculous in some parts, this is one movie you do not want to miss.
December 13, 2011
" What can a man do in New York if he's lonely and hasn't a dick? "

Troma did it to me again! I know this piece of crap sucks cinematic ass, I know! But like with Rabid Grannies, Poultrygeist and others, I STILL KIND OF LOVED IT A LITTLE BIT SHHHH DON'T TELL ANYONE.

So basically a carnivorous condom is terrorizing a brothel, chomping off cock left and right. Gay cop Luigi is put on the case and in between snatching himself a cute rent-boy and actual investigating, he almost loses his own massive penis (one of the funniest solar eclipse scenes I've ever seen), making the matter personal.

It really only gets less believable from there on, but Luigi is played with great aplomb, and the supporting cast is kind of hilarious (Billy the rent-boy, Babette the cop-turned-drag-queen, Sam the homophobic cop, and also a Presidential candidate called McGouvernor. Ha...).

Oddly enough in the midst of all this ludicrous gore, a love story develops between Luigi and Billy which I found more touching than the ones in most "gay" flicks like Beautiful Thing or Head On. This could point more to my own issues than to anything particularly redeeming about Luigi and Billy though.
December 9, 2011
One of the strangest movies I have ever seen, and I love it for it. Just surrealy weird...
½ November 11, 2011
over the top, campy fun
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