Talk about shitty timing. Tomorrow is Halloween and today is when I review the 2700th movie that I review on this here site. That fucking sucks. It's not like it would have made a difference one way or the other, I do this for myself and not because anyone out there might read this, but it would have been really cool to do my 2700th review on Halloween, even if it wasn't the film I did watch for Halloween. When I review movies, it's usually the day after I watch them. So while it would have been up on Halloween day, it wouldn't have necessarily been the movie I watched on that actual day. Another thing that bothers me is the fact that my 2700th review on this site is for such a crappy movie. I'm serious, this movie just sucks. There's no other way to put it. Sometimes when I watch 80s slasher movies, I wonder what my reaction would have been like if I was actually watching them at the time they came out. Because, watching them now, I can sort of see them as something else than just terrible movies, I can see the entertainment value in some of its campiness. Whether it's from its bad acting, cheesy gore or any of the other tropes associated with the genre, I can just look at the film and just laugh with it, even if they might not be what I would call good. Which brings us to Lake Dead, this shitty, shitty movie. Part of me wonders if this movie, in 30 years or so, will be seen the same way as I see films like Sleepaway Camp or Stage Fright now. Will people think of this as corny and laugh at it or will they think that it's a terrible movie the way I see it now? And it's not even like this movie is even that recent. This will be ten years old next year. I don't think that's enough time to retrospectively judge this as a corny slasher. Maybe it is for some people, I just think we have to give it some time for that, but I'd like to think that future generations will view this as a terrible movie, no matter when they see it. And why the fuck would they? There's not one iota of fun to be had here, which is key in a cheesy slasher film. It takes itself way too fucking seriously, which is just a big no-no. I'm not saying the film had to wink at me, acknowledging how bad it was, but taking its story and its characters this seriously was a major mistake. Embrace the absurdity of it all and just go all out. Let us as viewers have as much fun as possible, because that's the only way they have a chance, right? They have to be silly and goofy, but they don't want to do that. And I don't know why, I can't assume that they expected that this would have been a major success. They can't have possibly used this as a building block to create a franchise. I just find that impossible to believe, there's just no fucking way. There's some decent enough gore, but nothing to really write home about. If you want gore, watch last week's seventh season premiere of The Walking Dead and you'll get all the gore you want. Don't come looking for it here. The story is uninteresting. I honestly couldn't have cared any less than I did for this story and the people that inhabit this 'world'. Acting is bad, but not entertaining like Tommy Wiseau in The Room. That's pretty much this film's story. It's bad, but it's not bad enough. I'm assuming that doesn't make sense. But it's very simple. It's not bad to the point that it crosses over into the 'enjoyable' territory. I made that point earlier and it's really the biggest takeaway from this. It's bad, but the only way it would have been more entertaining was if it was considerably worse. I think this is the first time, ever, where I wanted a movie to actually be worse. Because, at least, that way I can get something out of it instead of just a shitty and lame slasher. So, yea, this sucked very much and I wouldn't recommend it. The only way I could recommend is if you can get a group of friends together and you all take the piss out of it. That's the ONLY way. Other than that, just stay away from this. Please.