Laser Mission - Movie Reviews - Rotten Tomatoes

Laser Mission Reviews

Page 1 of 4
January 4, 2018
This is a terribly cheap and hard watch for fans of Brandon Lee.
½ November 19, 2017
½ August 7, 2015
Underrated film by Brandon Lee. Good action/Adventure B-Rated flick.
July 22, 2014
"HE'S A MERCENARY MAN! *cheesy saxophone music* HE'S A MERCENARY MAN!" I knew I was in for something special the moment I heard the gloriously cheesy opening song describing the main character of this low-grade late 80's crap-tastic action film.

Laser Mission, while not particularly well known, is mostly shunned and scorned, and is often cited as the worst film of Brandon Lee's tragically short career. People only ever want to remember Brandon Lee for his legendary role in The Crow, while many fans of his want to keep this film buried and not want to talk about it.

Make no mistake, The Crow is a superb action film, and Brandon Lee delivered an amazing performance. His death was a tragic loss for Hollywood because they lost one of the next greats who would have gone on to do many other great performances. His role in The Crow made me want to check out his other less-revered works. As much as I love a good serious film, I am also a die hard B-movie fanatic, especially when it comes to the action genre which has provided me with many gloriously bad films.

My other experiences with his work have been Showdown In Little Tokyo and Rapid Fire (Sadly, his death prevented the making of Rapid Fire 2), both of which I also enjoyed and awarded 4-star ratings as well. Seeing The Crow, Showdown In Little Tokyo, and Rapid Fire made me even more curious to see his other films in his brief filmography. But, for whatever reason, I waited for quite some time before I obtained any of his other films. I was excited when I came across Laser Mission (Which was part of a 15-pack of action films), as I was already aware of its bad reputation and looking forward to glorious B-movie entertainment...and it sure delivered, as it is one of the greatest so-bad-it's-good films I've ever come across.

The film focuses on a mercenary named Michael Gold, who is sent to Cuba to rescue a scientist who the Soviets want to build a deadly laser weapon using diamonds.

Now he, along with a beautiful woman named Alissa, must rescue the scientist and kill a whole shitload of Soviets along the way to protect the world and put a stop to this developing weapon.

The story is completely and utterly tacky in every way imaginable. There is never a single believable moment, but that's okay, because this film embraces its gloriously low-budget, poorly made aspects to the fullest degree by putting the characters in the most ridiculous of scenarios and finding new ways to destroy stuff in over the top ways.

Brandon Lee was a great actor, but don't expect anything on par with his performance in The Crow. No, here he seems to be fully aware of how stupid and terrible this film is, and delivers a very cheesy performance, but thanks to his charisma as an actor he makes his character a lot of fun to watch. The other actors are also pretty cheesy, especially the actors who try to deliver hokey Spanish accents, which made the acting a real hoot at times. Though the acting as a whole is admittedly bad, the actors are having too good a time and delivering such campy performances that it became impossible for me to really ding their acting abilities because I had a lot of fun too.

The action is awesome in the best bad ways. There are car chases, gun battles galore, explosions, martial arts battles, cheesy romance, a cheesy sex scene, sci-fi hokum, ridiculous villains, over the top and hilarious humor, and so much more. The action scenes were always exciting and seemed to be constantly trying to find ways to up the ante in their stupidity. It's a B-movie lover's dream come true when it comes to bad action flicks.

I in no way have shame in awarding Laser Mission 4/5 stars. It's a gloriously stupid, fun, wacky, and ridiculously entertaining romp from start to finish. If you are a B-movie lover, there's plenty to love in Laser Mission.
½ June 2, 2014
Brandon Lee's english debut is cheesy as hell. The supporting characters are just awful and so are the actors who played them. With all that said, you can see Brandon's charisma on screen. The fight and action scenes are fun to watch. If you're a fan of Brandon Lee you will enjoy the hell out of this cheesy action movie.
September 16, 2013
I'm really sorry to say that Brandon Lee's first film was a total dud and I was really hoping it was going to be his hidden gem. The comedy element and the crappy forced love story just ruin this. The fight scenes are decent but it feels like it takes forever to get to them, if at all. Ernest Borgnine was hitting his later do anything for a dollar period,and you can tell he spent one day on this. If you can get it in a collection with other martial arts films then its not a total loss, but beware buying this as a stand alone.
½ March 9, 2013
Terrible TV movie rot sees Brandon Lee seeking to enlist the help of Ernest Borgnine to help him prevent the Soviets from developing a laser weapon. The acting is appalling, action scenes utterly ridiculous and the script laughable. An utter waste of time.
Super Reviewer
½ February 14, 2013
A defecting Russian scientist is kidnapped in Africa because he can make nuclear weapons out of lasers and diamonds; his busty daughter accompanies a secret agent on a rescue mission. Featuring ludicrous action scenes, hackneyed dialogue, and an embarrassed Ernest Borgnine, this ROMANCING THE STONE clone is for connoisseurs of 80s vintage cheese only.
½ January 15, 2013 sad to see the potential =(
December 21, 2012
Rifftrax all the way.
½ December 17, 2012
Talk about a fairly okay low-budget 80's action flick with two good talents Lee and Borgnine wasted as the movies turns to total assage in its unfolding. A jewel is stolen, a man is kidnapped who knows laser weaponry. How are these related? Apparently these gems can be used with the laser technology, but the movie doesn't make that clear, I had to read up online about that! That's one big problem, you lose a sense of what the fuck these characters are fighting for and what the hell is going on. You don't even get any scenes showing the antagonists setting up weapons, evil plans or anything! THERE'S LITTLE SENSE OF DANGER AND THREAT HERE! The two wasted talents here are one of two redeeming qualities, the other being a small handful of good action bits. Nothing else works as well as it could. I didn't expect much from this movie at all, really I didn't, and this film sunk way below my low expectations. When people die, I almost never see them actually die which fakes me into believing that they didn't actually die! It was a matter of bad choices in uses of shots and editing that affected this, ruined a lot of chances for thrills and suspense, and any sense of continuity. Did I mention the film is incredibly stupid? This is a dumb action film... in a literal sense. Dumb action is usually action with less emphasis on story, but this film literally plays it dumb. Lee's sidekick Alissa is another one of those useless bimbo bitches that rarely redeems her purpose. The comedy elements in this film also come off cheesy and while funny at times, a bit out of place and thrown in. Talk about misplaced music too, music that sounds like it belongs in a high energy 80's sex scene playing during an action sequences, no music when there should be, awful use of shots, BLAH! I'm gonna explode over this film. If you're a Brandon Lee fan like I am, this film is worth one watch as Brandon Lee's dominating scenes are the film's rare shining moments since he's awesome. Otherwise, take a pass, it's a mission that's not worth your time.
December 3, 2012
Another one of those 'So-bad-its-good' movies. The cheesy fun action scenes, the lame one-liners, the goofy characters, and a crazy plot. Also one of the few Brandon Lee films, it's fairly entertaining if you let it be what it is.
December 1, 2012
If you're looking for a high-octane thriller with subtle performances, pulse-pounding romance and a killer theme song that just won't quit, why aren't you already watching Laser Mission?
½ June 29, 2012
Shit + Explosions = Laser Missions

Its awful
July 26, 2011
Michael Gold: I never put price tags on women. It's much more fun taking them off.

Alissa: Some things come off very easily.

Michael Gold: Such as?

Alissa: Such as... your head if you don't stick to business.
½ April 3, 2011
corny but entertaining
February 22, 2011
brandon lee (known bruce lee's son for real life) who starring this movie in action movie. and so this movie didnt so bad with the public domain that brandon lee in it. but good and action and the fight scene. also starring ernest borgnine as the scientist.
January 25, 2011
It's a good thing Brandon Lee made "The Crow" before his death; had he not, he might have been doomed to star in sub-Bruce Wilis-meets-Bruce Campbell shlock like this for all eternity.

Lee plays Michael Gold, a mercenary with -- in typical Hollywood fashion -- principles! He volunteers with the CIA to help a German laser expert (Ernest Borgnine, far from a career highpoint but still retaining more dignity as a German than Rod Steiger did as a Cuban) defect to the U.S. but is foiled at most turns by a bizarre alliance of incredibly organized but dismally incompetent Cubans and Russians.

You'll spend the first half of the movie trying to figure out where the hell this film takes place -- the first 10 minutes seem to cycle uneasily between Cuba; Sub-Saharan Africa; El Salvador (maybe); and a dismal, cloudy section of North Carolina -- and the majority hoping to escape from the by-the-numbers plot and the horrendous soft-metal theme song they tacked onto Michael Gold, complete with an unimpressive vocalist doing his best worst Lemmy croon.

At best, "Laser Mission" is a heavily botched ripoff of "The Living Daylights." However, that movie was released two years before the fall of the Berlin Wall; this film a year after. Nevermind the fact that director BJ Davis is no John Glen and Lee is no Timothy Dalton: "Mission" transparently lacks gravitas; it's just more embarrassing that it trades in on a threat that was diminishing at the time of release, and lacks impact worse now.
September 19, 2010
I'm not sure why this was included in a horror movie boxset, since it's actually an action film.

This movie is pretty dang cheesy, as can be expected from the late 1980's/early 1990's. But that's also part of the fun of this movie. The explosions are big, the action outrageous, and the characters exuberiant.

This movie is enjoyable as a popcorn movie, but you need to through logic- and geography out the window. Somehow Cuba, South Africa, and Germany share common borders, and the Soviet troops have no problems parading around causing trouble in uniform.

Cheesy, but fun for a single viewing.
½ July 26, 2010
While roaming the dollar DVD bin recently, I picked out this 1990 action movie that stars the late Brandon Lee, Bruce Lee's son. The only movie from Brandon that I had previously seen is probably the only movie of his that you've seen, 1994's "The Crow," which made him a star but cost him his life. He was shot to death during filming of that movie by an improperly loaded gun. I knew that he had done a few minor movies before that but had never seen any.

I'm not endorsing "Laser Mission." From the opening credits I could tell that it was very cheaply done. And, at least on this DVD, the audio is about a full second behind the visual! The movie is about a maverick government agent named Michael Gold (played by Lee), who goes on a mission to save a scientist named Braun (Ernest Borgnine), who is being forced by the Soviets to build a nuclear weapon, combining a laser with a huge diamond. Great stuff! Brandon's acting is okay, as is Borgnine's. I like Brandon's sarcastic wit. But much of the rest of the acting is pretty amateur, especially that of his character's love interest, Alissa (Debi Monahan) who might pass for a decent porno actress.

The action scenes aren't bad for a low budget movie but the script is weak and loaded with '80s action movie cliches. And it's especially humorous to see Alissa - who looks and acts like a typical blonde, air headed bimbo - joining Michael in blowing away dozens of bad guys! She also does some pretty impressive driving - in a peace wagon, no less - while Michael blows away still more bad guys from the back seat!

But there are two things that make the movie worth the dollar for me. One is that parts of it are so bad that they're hilarious, including one time when Brandon and a guy who he's fighting both fall of of a building about 30 feet high and Brandon lands just gets up and walks away! The other guy wasn't so lucky, falling on the spikes of a fence and dying.

And the other thing I love about the movie is the music, done by none other than David Knopfler of Dire Straits. He has one straight ahead rocker that is played during the opening credits, closing credits and several times in between. I guess they were either on a tight budget so they could afford little music or they really loved that song! I think it's played six times during the movie!

I'm pretty sure that's the only vocal song in the movie. The instrumental stuff is great, too. I detect a little Pink Floyd influence in David's music.

One other note of unintentional humor from "Laser Mission," in the movie, Brandon's character wants the mission so bad that he's not doing it for the money. Yet the aforementioned song that's featured over and over is titled "Mercenary Man!"
Page 1 of 4