Lockjaw: Rise of the Kulev Serpent - Movie Reviews - Rotten Tomatoes

Lockjaw: Rise of the Kulev Serpent Reviews

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October 8, 2015
aka CARNIVOUS. adding based on Joe Bob Briggs' recommendation
December 21, 2013
to be honest, the acting was bad, the cgi animal was just a snake with an aligator head and... well i suppose everything else was interesting, not as bad as some films out there.
April 9, 2012
It's the classic tale, some kid steals a magic pencil from local voodoo man and uses it to summon a huge snake monster to kill his abusive dad. Years later when douchbag kids run over his wife it's time for another art attack. Luckily DMX is on hand to help the obligatory innocent parties out of the situation.
January 13, 2012
Such a strange movie and i could never figure out why DMX was in this movie. However the movie can not scare you and it doe's not make you laugh. All it gives you is some slight action.
March 17, 2011
I never expected much from this movie. Its not normally something i would watch but it was only £1 so i thought i would give it a try. I thought it would be something stupid and it was lol.
December 20, 2010
Such a strange movie and i could never figure out why DMX was in this movie. However the movie can not scare you and it doe's not make you laugh. All it gives you is some slight action.
½ June 12, 2010
one of the worst films i have ever seen
½ May 18, 2010
clearly this film is one big joke isn't it? DMX the best actor in it?? really, that guy is one of the worst actors ive ever seen but in this he's al pacino compared to the rest of the cast??
When u run someone over would u not think one of 4 people in the car would notice....seriously?? im no sex expert but im pretty sure the woman has to take those big knickers off!!
Haha think im trying my hardest to find the worst movies ever made and make myself watch them! i must be punishing myself for something?? any way this is the usual creature feature fare giant snake thing going around eating people because some magic voodoo pencil has drawn it. yep thats the premise what ever he draws the snake does! well not really he draws a snake eating a car full of 5 people..how the snake knows who those 5 people are i have no idea.its not as if the pic actually looks anything like them. randomly dmx turns up with a giant bazooka!!??
Super Reviewer
January 30, 2010
I don't keep my ear close to the hippity hop rap circuit. But wasn't DMX once respected and respectable? Hard to imagine when appearing in shit like this. Obviously I enjoyed it, it had a poor CGI monster, some terrible acting and some of the worst lines I've ever heard. However, even bad has been done better. Unlike Komodo, Carnosaur 3 or Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus, I wont even bother rewatching this one. At least, not for a while.

"I'm sorry about your wife but that was an accident. You drew us to death, that sucks."
½ October 15, 2009
this movie was honestly an hour twenty of awful, but that's to be expected seeing as the only star, loosely used, is DMX, who sucks at best, but all the other actors are worse. this is not even fun bad or cheesy, it's just bad personified. destroy if you see.
½ July 15, 2009
I think we can safely file this one under the category of "Will Never Watch Again", and I can honestly say that no one else should watch this movie unless they are a fan of self mutilation. Yes, this one is so bad that you will want to hurt yourself just to erase the painful memories from your brain. I honestly thought the movie was called DMX Bah bah bah, because second rate rapper DMX is so all over this movie I think he dry humped it into submission. If the trailer mentioned him one more time I was going to have those three letters scarred across my eyeballs until the end of time. No, instead I've been pounded silly by an asinine movie that thinks it's a hell of a lot more than it actually is.

Forget the silly story, because the holes that you can drive through it are amazing in their scope. When Voodoo spells awaken a giant serpent, Army special ops veteran and master hunter Nick Kirabo (DMX, who's about as convincing at the army thing as he is at being a gangster, meaning I'd believe Paul Rubens in either capacity first) is the only man who can stop the big bad snake thingy (which looks like a cross between a rubber muppet ripoff and a really bad attempt at making a 3D snake on your home computer). If we were to believe the quote on the DVD cover, from Stuart Alson of Independent Film Quarterly, then we are about to be treated to the best giant snake movie ever! He says that "Bone chilling serpentine terror ensues in this classic that outdoes the Anaconda series from the get go". Wait, bone chilling? Terror? Classic? I think we watched two different movies here, bub. This movie outdoes nothing, as it itself is outdone by a YouTube video of a toddler have a giant poop on a shopping mall escalator. Someone needs to smack Stuart in the nuts, or send him to rehab, cause he's got to be one of these higher than a kite peckerheads that says crazy shit about bad movies just to get their quote on DVD covers. So, he studied film criticism with Ben Lyons, huh?

Okay, enough ranting. DMX is about as good of an actor as he is a rapper (meaning not very good at all), but then again the only other movie I've seen him in is Romeo Must Die, so I'm not really the right sort of critic to judge his "body of work" as a whole. But he just does not work as an action star. The snake gave a more believable performance. I can't comment on the other actors in the movie, because they are not DMX, and I don't want him standing outside my house with a bazooka. The effects are piss poor, the story is silly and contrived, the film really has no style, and director Valinia seems more like a hired gun with no real creative input at all, because the direction is all over the place, and it focuses on DMX so much I think he gave most of the direction during filming.

But all jokes aside, I can't in good conscience recommend this one to anyone. I'm giving it a point just for Stuart's little quote on the front cover, and for having the balls to suck and not really get it. It's just another bad movie, folks. Forget it.
½ June 13, 2009
cant waste time reviewing this.
June 13, 2009
Pumpkinhead's plot is stolen for the concept of "rapper vs. Giant snake"....yeahhh...but at least the snake looks cool, he has the head of an alligator
½ June 13, 2009
Wow....DMX attans whole new levels of SUCK. Stupid premise. Stupid characters, bad actors, and CGI that looks like a kid did it...

Oh man. So so bad.

Oh no Lockjaw might return. But thats ok, i guy in the middle of nowhere just happens to have a bazooka....
½ June 13, 2009
Wow...just wow. Carnivorous (formerly Lockjaw: Rise of the Kulev Serpent) is basically Pumpkinhead, minus the clever acting, writing, special effects, direction, etc, etc. A long time ago (never states it; we have to guess), a boy and girl steal a voodoo pen from a voodoo witch doctor neighbor and his kid. Boy takes pen home and draws a giant crocodile/snake hybrid monster eating his abusive father...which happens moments later. Now, many years later, boy and girl are married and living together happily until a group of rascally and moronic youths run girl over (WITHOUT ANY OF THEM NOTICING!!!! LOLWTF?) and boy gets drunk with liquor and vengeance and draws picture of them getting eaten by same monster. Now, monster starts killing them left and right (but not quick enough!). It's up to boy, his neighbor DMX (equipped with a bazooka), and the remainder of robots posed as human actors to kill Lockjaw. Horrible, Horrible movie. I try to find the good in every film I see, no matter how bad it gets trashed by others, but there was no redeeming quality to this film. Everyone in it annoyed the hell out of me. How are you going to have sex with your underwear still on? That's bologna, just like this entire fucking movie. Hated it.
June 13, 2009
Extremely confusing start. Generally horrible movie.
February 4, 2009
A heartwarming story of the bitter feud between a group of teenagers and a giant voodoo snake, also featuring DMX. There is so much in this film that is bad that it really has to be seen to be believed.
½ November 4, 2008
A bunch of teens, 5 in a speeding car, hits a woman that kills her instantly and NOBODY NOTICES???????????????
"Did you hit an animal?"
"Okay, let's partay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Acting was abysmal, especially the annoying teens.
Oh wow.
I heard the budget for this movie was 4 million dollars (!), I guess they had to bribe people to star in this awful movie. because the snake effects had a budget of 300 bux... at the most.
½ August 23, 2008
What a cure for insomnia - a scare-free monster horror with DMX headlining - although you only see his mercurial acting talents for about 10 minutes. Acting and script are dire, but the CG serpent is a new low (when you do actually see it - it has the head of an alligator or something). Very, very poor!
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