Machete - Movie Quotes - Rotten Tomatoes

Machete Quotes

  • Sartana: I thought Machete don't text.
    Machete: Machete improvises.


  • Machete: Are you Shé?
    Luz: If I were Shé, do you think I'd be operating a taco truck? Shé brings hope. Shé rights the wrongs. Unfortunately, Shé is a myth.


  • Sartana: Yes, I am a woman of the law. And there are lots of laws. But if they don't offer us justice, then they aren't laws! They are just lines drawn in the sand by men who would stand on your back for power and glory
    Sartana: Yes, I am a woman of the law. And there are lots of laws. But if they don't offer us justice, then they aren't laws! They are just lines drawn in the sand by men who would stand on your back for power and glory.


  • Machete: Get dressed.
    Chica (Naked Girl): It's too hot for clothes.


  • Padre: God has mercy. I don't!


  • Von: There's nothing I'd like more than to see that Mexican dance the Bolero at the end of a rope.


  • Sartana: We didn't cross the border; the border crossed us!


  • Machete: Machete don't text.


  • Padre: I absolve you of all your sins, now get the fuck out of here.


  • Booth: You just fucked with the wrong Mexican.


  • Padre: I took a vow of peace and now you want me to kill all these men?
    Machete: Yes Padre
    Machete: Yes Padre.
    Padre: [with a 'meh' look on his face] I'll see what I can do
    Padre: [with a 'meh' look on his face] I'll see what I can do.


  • Sartana: There are lots of laws, but if they don't offer us justice, they aren't laws, they're just lines drawn in the sand by men who stand in your back for power
    Sartana: There are lots of laws, but if they don't offer us justice, they aren't laws, they're just lines drawn in the sand by men who stand in your back for power.


  • Sartana: We didn't cross the border, the border crossed us
    Sartana: We didn't cross the border, the border crossed us.


  • Sartana: I thought Machete don't text?
    Machete: Machete improvises.


  • Machete: Machete don't text.


  • Padre: God has mercy. I don't
    Padre: God has mercy. I don't.


  • Machete: Machete don't text!


  • Machete: "Machete don't text"
    Machete: Machete don't text.


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