Machete Kills Reviews
Then came the plague that still goes on, that of rise of Punjabi-language films, full of unbelievable stunts and roaring dialogues - the famous Sultan Rahi (who later was typecast for such roles until he was murdered in a night-robbery off-highway in 1996) playing typical angry Pakistani Punjabi brave man, wearing traditional dress, long mustache, chubby looks, grins on forehead, and that signature tool 'Gundasa' heavy sharpened blade with long wooden-handle. People stopped going to watching films, due to vulgarity, vulgar language, close-up female as* shots, cleavages, vulgar dances. What made these movies more stupid, were the impossibilities, such as - when some goons try to rape a woman in public, Rahi's mother call out to her son for the girl's rescue - and he would ride horse back from Dubai to Lahore - or suffering multiple gun-shots all over body and still fighting back, flying in the air and kicking around.
Having watched Machete Kills - I am now certain that Punajbi-language films were right, to have foreseen where exactly some Hollywood movies might be heading towards, ultimately - what Pakistanis did in early 80s, has only being done by Robert Rodriguez recently. Silly, stupid, and sure assurance about what directors might give you when there is lack of good material around.
Machete looks no different from Sultan Rahi, and his Machete is no different than Gundasa of Sultana Rahi. Machete rides nuclear warhead, sustains mega-voltage current, circles at the rpm (revolution-per-minute) of copter's blades. This is ridiculous, Robert has shown what a man like him could do, who has got money, influence, contacts, and approach. These kind of people must not exploit the art of cinema, with their already pursuing ambition of 'exploitation'.
The only reason I watched this movie, was because of Mel Gibson - and boy only he made sarcastic lines, and made his duration in the film worth watching for his fans ONLY.
NOTE: I gave it 10% for Mel Gibson only!
Let me start by saying if you don't like over the top violence, crazy/goofy action, then just don't even bother at all with this. Actually, if you've never seen the first movie "Machete", it's probably because that's not your thing anyway. This is an absolute blast of pure B entertainment. Basically Machete(Danny Trejo) is back and has to get revenge for the death of his partner, and save the world from missile annihilation. Charlie Sheen plays the President of the U.S. if that tells you anything. The cast is insane and awesome, and Mel Gibson hasn't been this crazy in years. This movie is a lot of fun if you're in the mood for it, or if you like these type of flicks. The one thing I absolutely hated was the ending. This is a big spoiler so stop now if you don't want anything ruined.
It ends with a freaking trailer for "Machete Kills Again...In Space" and that is exactly how the movie started. I have no idea if they are actually making that into a real movie or not. If not, it's some crap because this movie has no resolution. Now, does it need it? No not at all, but some would still be nice. Again, if you want a fun night at home laughing at some crazy stuff, then check it out!
Decent Movie! Machete Kills is the sequel to 2010's Machete. Even more star studded than Machete's previous venture, this movie features appearances by an overly large score of popular actors including the likes of Jessica Alba, Amber Heard, Lady Gaga, Antonio Banderas, Cuba Gooding Jr. and Vanessa Hudgens. Machete Kills is equally enjoyable as its predecessor, containing the maximum amount of scenes of idiotic ultraviolence, sweaty sensuality (though surprisingly no actual nudity this time) and a plethora of insanely funny genre self-referencing that have proved hallmarks of Rodriguez' grindhouse flicks.
The U.S. government recruits Machete to battle his way through Mexico in order to take down an arms dealer who looks to launch a weapon into space.