Madea's Witness Protection Quotes
-
Brian: Hey Madea!Madea: Hey Brian, Hey BrianUncle Joe: I don't know why you leave the toilet seat up Mabel!Brian: Hey Daddy!Uncle Joe: Don't I know you?Brian: I'm past 18 now stop pretending you don't know me because of paying child support!Uncle Joe: Hey son great to see you. Love you so much!!!Uncle Joe: Hey son great to see you. Love you so much!Madea: You want something to eat i'm making sandwich for Joe.Madea: You want something to eat, i'm making sandwich for Joe.Uncle Joe: I wouldn't eat that son I wouldn't eat that at all. I believe she's trying to kill me for my insurance money!Madea: You ain't got no insurance money!Uncle Joe: In that case i'm going to eat this sandwich Mabel madeMadea: I ain't trying to kill you for the insurance money i'm killing you because I want you dead, completely dead, no life in you just not breathing just maggot food!Uncle Joe: Here son try this for me.Brian: I'm not tasting that thank you!!Brian: I'm not tasting that thank you!
-
Uncle Joe: her butt must be hungry cause its chewing that dress aliveUncle Joe: Her butt must be hungry because it's chewing that dress alive.
-
Madea: Excuse me while I do my Tyra Banks.
-
Madea: Oh...um, if Randy or Jermaine or Tito call...Tell them I just can not talk right now. Imma have to call them laTer.
-
Uncle Joe: You look like a big...bottle of Pepto Bismol
-
Jake: You look like a bag of skittles.Madea: Yeah well when i come back up here and you still in bed you gonna tasted the rainbow.
-
Madea: SHUT UP. rectum.Madea: SHUT UP rectum.
-
Madea: These here are my cousins. They have a pigmentation problem. CAN'T TALK NOW HONEY, GOTTA GET THEM TO THE DOCTOR!
-
George Needleman: Do you have chicken wings?Madea: 30 DAMN DOLLARS A WING? OH NO HONEY THEY COME IN A PACK, 20 FOR A DOLLA 99 DOWN AT ROSCO I CANT HAVE THIS HONEY NO IM NOT GUNNA, IMA STARVE IN THIS HOTEL!
-
Madea: These white folks are gonna stick out here more than I would stick out at a Republican convention!
-
Madea: If I come back up these stairs and you still in this bed I'm gonna get completely naked and get up in there with you and spoon!Madea: If I come back up these stairs and you still in this bed I'm gonna get completely naked and get up in there with you and spoon!George Needleman: Okay, I'm up!!!George Needleman: Okay, I'm up!
-
Uncle Joe: You look like a big bottle of Pepto Bismol.
-
Madea: [whispering] You better get your ass out this bed.