Madea's Witness Protection - Movie Quotes - Rotten Tomatoes

Madea's Witness Protection Quotes

  • Brian: Hey Madea!
    Madea: Hey Brian, Hey Brian
    Uncle Joe: I don't know why you leave the toilet seat up Mabel!
    Brian: Hey Daddy!
    Uncle Joe: Don't I know you?
    Brian: I'm past 18 now stop pretending you don't know me because of paying child support!
    Uncle Joe: Hey son great to see you. Love you so much!!!
    Uncle Joe: Hey son great to see you. Love you so much!
    Madea: You want something to eat i'm making sandwich for Joe.
    Madea: You want something to eat, i'm making sandwich for Joe.
    Uncle Joe: I wouldn't eat that son I wouldn't eat that at all. I believe she's trying to kill me for my insurance money!
    Madea: You ain't got no insurance money!
    Uncle Joe: In that case i'm going to eat this sandwich Mabel made
    Madea: I ain't trying to kill you for the insurance money i'm killing you because I want you dead, completely dead, no life in you just not breathing just maggot food!
    Uncle Joe: Here son try this for me.
    Brian: I'm not tasting that thank you!!
    Brian: I'm not tasting that thank you!


  • Uncle Joe: her butt must be hungry cause its chewing that dress alive
    Uncle Joe: Her butt must be hungry because it's chewing that dress alive.


  • Madea: Excuse me while I do my Tyra Banks.


  • Madea: Oh...um, if Randy or Jermaine or Tito call...Tell them I just can not talk right now. Imma have to call them laTer.


  • Uncle Joe: You look like a big...bottle of Pepto Bismol


  • Jake: You look like a bag of skittles.
    Madea: Yeah well when i come back up here and you still in bed you gonna tasted the rainbow.


  • Madea: SHUT UP. rectum.
    Madea: SHUT UP rectum.


  • Madea: These here are my cousins. They have a pigmentation problem. CAN'T TALK NOW HONEY, GOTTA GET THEM TO THE DOCTOR!


  • George Needleman: Do you have chicken wings?
    Madea: 30 DAMN DOLLARS A WING? OH NO HONEY THEY COME IN A PACK, 20 FOR A DOLLA 99 DOWN AT ROSCO I CANT HAVE THIS HONEY NO IM NOT GUNNA, IMA STARVE IN THIS HOTEL!


  • Madea: These white folks are gonna stick out here more than I would stick out at a Republican convention!


  • Madea: If I come back up these stairs and you still in this bed I'm gonna get completely naked and get up in there with you and spoon!
    Madea: If I come back up these stairs and you still in this bed I'm gonna get completely naked and get up in there with you and spoon!
    George Needleman: Okay, I'm up!!!
    George Needleman: Okay, I'm up!


  • Uncle Joe: You look like a big bottle of Pepto Bismol.


  • Madea: [whispering] You better get your ass out this bed.


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