May - Movie Quotes - Rotten Tomatoes

May Quotes

  • May Canady: Where's Polly?
    Ambrosia: In the head. Polly, hurry up in there! I've been drinking vodka all night and I have to piss like a racehorse!
    May Canady: [giggles] hm-hm
    Ambrosia: (gets annoyed and mimics May's giggle) - UM-HM!
    May Canady: You have really beautiful legs.
    Ambrosia: I thought they were gams?
    May Canady: Gams, stems, wheels, whatever. Give us a little spin, doll.
    Ambrosia: Huh?
    May Canady: Turn around for me.
    Ambrosia: You are so fu*king weird. I don't know what Polly sees in you.
    May Canady: Polly doesn't see anything...Turn around, Miss Grable.
    May Canady: Polly doesn't see anything. Turn around, Miss Grable.
    Ambrosia: Okay, doll (she does a sexy spin) ...How was that?
    Ambrosia: Okay, doll (she does a sexy spin) How was that?
    May Canady: Beautiful... [May stabs Ambrosia in the temple with a scalpel, killing her]
    May Canady: Beautiful [May stabs Ambrosia in the temple with a scalpel, killing her]


  • Polly: You're funny. You want to watch me file?


  • Adam: So what do you do, May?
    May Canady: I work at the animal hospital...And I sew.
    May Canady: I work at the animal hospital. And I sew.
    Adam: Okay...Animal hospital.
    Adam: Okay. Animal hospital.
    May Canady: Some people think it's kind of gross.
    Adam: I love gross.
    May Canady: Really?
    Adam: Mm-hmm. Disgust me, please.
    May Canady: Okay. A couple of weeks ago, and old man comes in, and says his dog is dying. And he begs us to save it. A 90-pound black lad named Seymour. We take him in and run some tests, and find that he has a twisted bowel, and needs to be operated on immediately. So we shave Seymour's tummy, we cut him open, and take out a piece of intestine about - about the size of a hot dog. Everything went smooth, but... when we went to sew Seymour back up, we realized we were out of the heavy sutures your supposed to use for large dogs. So the doctor decided that if we tripled up on cat sutures, that should do the trick. Well... a few days go by, and the old man calls up hysterical. The sutures had burst while he was at work, and by the time he got home, Seymour was sprawled out on the back porch with his guts spread all over the concrete, and the fence was soaked in blood all around the yard. It was a mess [Adam stares in disgust] ...I had to sew that one back up.
    May Canady: Okay. A couple of weeks ago, and old man comes in, and says his dog is dying. And he begs us to save it. A 90-pound black lad named Seymour. We take him in and run some tests, and find that he has a twisted bowel, and needs to be operated on immediately. So we shave Seymour's tummy, we cut him open, and take out a piece of intestine about - about the size of a hot dog. Everything went smooth, but when we went to sew Seymour back up, we realized we were out of the heavy sutures your supposed to use for large dogs. So the doctor decided that if we tripled up on cat sutures, that should do the trick. Well, a few days go by, and the old man calls up hysterical. The sutures had burst while he was at work, and by the time he got home, Seymour was sprawled out on the back porch with his guts spread all over the concrete, and the fence was soaked in blood all around the yard. It was a mess [Adam stares in disgust] I had to sew that one back up.


  • Polly: Do you feel weird doing this?
    May Canady: I am weird.
    Polly: I love weird.


  • Adam: There's an Argenta playing at the Beverly in 15 minutes. I took the afternoon off. They're showing "Trauma."
    Adam: There's an Argenta playing at the Beverly in 15 minutes. I took the afternoon off. They're showing 'Trauma.'
    May Canady: Is that a movie?
    Adam: You've never seen "Trauma"?!
    Adam: You've never seen 'Trauma'?!


  • Mama: I've always said, "If you can't find a friend, make one."
    Mama: I've always said, 'If you can't find a friend, make one.'


  • May Canady: (to her doll) - I'll bet you're wondering what I'm making...Okay, I'll tell you. I saw someone today; a boy. You know how when you meet someone...and you think you like them? And then, the more you talk to them, you see parts that you don't like. Like that guy on the bench. And sometimes, you end up not liking any parts at all. But this boy is different. I like every part of him. Especially his hands, they're beautiful...Don't be mad, you've been my friend my whole life. And you see me...you always have, but...I need a real friend. Someone I can hold.
    May Canady: (to her doll) - I'll bet you're wondering what I'm making. Okay, I'll tell you. I saw someone today; a boy. You know how when you meet someone...and you think you like them? And then, the more you talk to them, you see parts that you don't like. Like that guy on the bench. And sometimes, you end up not liking any parts at all. But this boy is different. I like every part of him. Especially his hands, they're beautiful. Don't be mad, you've been my friend my whole life. And you see me, you always have, but I need a real friend. Someone I can hold.


  • Adam: Whatcha reading about?
    May Canady: Amputation.
    Adam: Is that for work?
    May Canady: Nope. It's just for fun.


  • Polly: What the hell is a scupel?
    May Canady: Scalpel?
    Polly: Ohhhh.


  • Adam: Does this stuff freak you out?
    May Canady: Nothing freaks me out.
    Adam: That's right, it wouldn't, would it? (Adam pulls out a fake knife) ...You're on to me...I'm a psycho.
    Adam: That's right, it wouldn't, would it? (Adam pulls out a fake knife) You're on to me. I'm a psycho.


  • Polly: Shut up, hooker!


  • May Canady: I love your hands. I think they're beautiful.
    Adam: I used to be a hand model.
    May Canady: I could see you doing that.
    Adam: I'm kidding, May.


  • Blank: Hey, you want to go get some Jujubes with me?
    May Canady: What's the point?
    Blank: (looks saddened) - I'm just trying to be friendly.


  • Polly: Do you like pussy?
    May Canady: What?
    Polly: Cats! You like pussy cats?


  • Blank: (opens up May's freezer and sees a dead cat inside) - What the fu*k is that?
    May Canady: A friend.
    Blank: Whoa. This is some sick sh*t.
    May Canady: So, are we like best friends now that you've seen what's in my freezer?
    Blank: You fu*king freak. I'm not going to be your friend.


  • Polly: My grandma said it's imperfections that make you special.


  • May Canady: Race cars?
    Adam: What's that? Oh, yeah! (embarrassed, he tries to hide his underpants) ...my, uh, girlfriend bought me these.
    Adam: What's that? Oh, yeah! (embarrassed, he tries to hide his underpants) My, uh, girlfriend bought me these.


  • Blank: (after taking off his shirt because of the "heat") - Ah fuuuuu*k! I'm still burning up...Do you have any ice I can rub on my nipples?
    Blank: (after taking off his shirt because of the 'heat') - Ah fuuuuu*k! I'm still burning up. Do you have any ice I can rub on my nipples?


  • Polly: It's girl's night out tonight...you want to come? I know, you need your beauty rest...Not much of it though.
    Polly: It's girl's night out tonight, you want to come? I know, you need your beauty rest. Not much of it though.


  • Polly: May, you know you are my number one hot momma.


  • May Canady: See me. See me. See me...
    May Canady: See me. See me. See me.


  • Young May: What's wrong with my eye, mama?
    Mama: Doctor says its lazy eye. But, we're going to make you look perfect.


  • May Canady: So many pretty parts and no pretty wholes.


  • Adam: (opens his front door and sees May standing there) - May, you scared the hell out of me! ...What are you doing out here?
    Adam: (opens his front door and sees May standing there) - May, you scared the hell out of me! What are you doing out here?
    May Canady: Nothing.
    Adam: How long have you been standing out here?
    May Canady: Since about 2:00.
    Adam: You haven't really been standing out here for two hours, have you?
    May Canady: (smiles) - What do you think?


  • May Canady: You don't think I'm weird?
    Adam: I do think you're weird.
    May Canady: I knew that.
    Adam: I like weird. I like weird a lot.


  • May Canady: (when asked if she had "any cold ones?" in her cooler; containing actual body parts) ...Yes, I do.
    May Canady: (when asked if she had 'any cold ones? in her cooler; containing actual body parts) Yes, I do.


  • Adam: (May tries kissing him, but she gets too rough and Adam backs off) - Whoa! Jesus Christ! Who taught you how to kiss?
    May Canady: (referring to her doll) - Suzie.


  • Polly: Maybe we can hang out, eat some melons.


  • Adam: (after showing May his student made horror film) - So, what did you think?
    May Canady: It was sweet...
    May Canady: It was sweet.
    Adam: It was sweet?
    May Canady: I don't think she could've got his finger off in one bite, though. That part seemed a little far-fetched.


  • May Canady: I need more parts.


  • May Canady: (to Suzy, the doll) - I told you to face the goddamn wall!


  • Adam: (while kissing May for the first time, she bites his lip) - Owe! God damn it! (Adam looks around her room and sees May's weird doll) ...What the fu*k is that? (he then notices his lip is bleeding) ...Oh, fu*k, I'm bleeding.
    May Canady: I know. [May begins sexually wiping Adams blood on her body]
    Adam: (weirded out by May's action) - May, what are you doing? ...Please. I need a towel. [May just smiles at him, still wiping his blood on her] ...I think...I think I'm gonna go.
    Adam: (weirded out by May's action) - May, what are you doing? Please. I need a towel. [May just smiles at him, still wiping his blood on her] I think, I think I'm gonna go.
    May Canady: What?
    Adam: I'll see you around.
    May Canady: (referring to Adams student horror film) - But it's just like your movie.
    Adam: May, this is weird.
    May Canady: (smiles) - You like weird.
    Adam: (looks at her disgusted) - Not that weird. [Adam walks out of her room]


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