Mean Girls - Movie Quotes - Rotten Tomatoes

Mean Girls Quotes

  • Gretchen Wieners: I'm sorry that people are so jealous of me. But I can't help it that I'm popular.


  • Mr. Duvall: Miss Smith?
    Karen Smith: Whoever wrote it probably didn't think anyone would ever see it?
    Mr. Duvall: I hope that nobody else ever does see it.


  • Regina George: 120 calories and 48 calories from fat. What percent is that?
    Gretchen Weiners: Um..48 into 120?
    Regina George: I'm only eating foods with less than 30% calories of fat.
    Cady Heron: It's 40%. Well, 48 over 120 equals x over a 100 and then you cross multiply and get the value of x.
    Regina George: Whatever. I'm getting cheese fries.


  • Mr. Duvall: Coach Carr, step away from the underage girls!


  • Damian: Four for you Glen Coco, You GO Glen Coco! ....And none for Gretchen Weiners.Bye
    Damian: Four for you Glen Coco, you go Glen Coco! And none for Gretchen Weiners. Bye.


  • Cady Heron: I hate her! I mean, she's really failing me on purpose, just because I didn't join that stupid Mathletes! She was so queer, she was like, "I'm pusher Cady, I'm a pusher."
    Regina George: Hahaha!!! What does that even mean?


  • Cady Heron: Hey!
    Karen Smith: (Shocked, startled and scared) Why are dressed so scary?
    Karen Smith: Why are dressed so scary?
    Cady Heron: It's Halloween.


  • Damian: [guarding Cady down the hall] Watch out please! Fresh meat coming through!
    Damian: Watch out please! Fresh meat coming through!


  • Cady Heron: I hated Regina George! I hated her!


  • Ms. Norbury: Oh, hi. Did you wanna buy some drugs?


  • Damian: [driving away] I want my pink shirt back!!! I want my pink shirt back!!!
    Damian: I want my pink shirt back! I want my pink shirt back!


  • Coach Carr: every one grab some rubbers
    Coach Carr: Every one grab some rubbers.


  • Gretchen Weiners: that so fetch!
    Gretchen Weiners: That is so fetch!


  • Coach Carr: Don't have sex. Because you will get pregnant, and die. Don't have sex in the missionary position, don't have sex standing up, just... don't do it. Promise?
    Coach Carr: Alright, everybody grab some rubbers.


  • Regina George: So you're, like, really pretty.
    Cady Heron: Thank you.
    Regina George: So you agree?
    Cady Heron: What?
    Regina George: You think you're really pretty?


  • Karen Smith: You wanna do something fun? You wanna go to Taco Bell?
    Regina George: I can't go to Taco Bell! I'm on an all-carb diet! God, Karen, you are so stupid!


  • Karen Smith: You know who's looking fine tonight? Seth Mosakowski.
    Gretchen Weiners: You did not just say that.
    Karen Smith: Why? He's a good kisser.
    Gretchen Weiners: He is your cousin!
    Karen Smith: Yeah, but he's my first cousin.
    Gretchen Weiners: Right.
    Karen Smith: So you have your cousins, and you have your first cousins, and you have your second cousins...
    Gretchen Weiners: No, honey. Uh-uh.
    Karen Smith: That's not right, is it?
    Gretchen Weiners: That is so not right.


  • Regina George: This is Susan from Planned Parenthood. I have her test results. If you could have her call me as soon as she can? It's urgent. Thank you!


  • Gretchen Weiners: Regina, you're wearing sweatpants. It's Monday.
    Regina George: So?
    Karen Smith: So that's against the rules and you can't sit with us.
    Regina George: Whatever. Those rules aren't real.
    Karen Smith: They were real that day I wore a vest!
    Regina George: It was because that vest was disgusting!
    Gretchen Weiners: YOU CAN'T SIT WITH US!


  • Regina George: Gretchen, stop trying to make *fetch* happen. It's not going to happen!


  • Karen Smith: I'm kind of psychic. I have a fifth sense.
    Cady Heron: What do you mean?
    Karen Smith: It's like I have ESPN or something. My breasts can tell when it's gonna rain.


  • Regina George: Boo, you whore.


  • Bethany: Somebody wrote in the book that I'm lying about being a virgin because I use XXL tampons, but It's not my fault I have a heavy flow and a wide-set vagina!


  • Karen Smith: There's a 30% chance that it's already raining...


  • Janis Ian: Wow Damian you've truly outgayed yourself.


  • Cady Heron: In the real world, Halloween is when kids dress up and beg for candy. But in girl world, Halloween is the one time of year a girl can dress like a total slut and no other girl can say anything about it. No one had told me about the girl world rule.


  • Regina George: *On the phone* Oh this is Suzanne from planned parenthood. Can you get her to call us back? We have her test results. It's urgent. *Puts phone down* She's not going anywhere!


  • Gretchen Weiners: Somebody should just stab Ceasar.


  • Karen Smith: ON WEDNESDAYS WE WEAR PINK!
    Karen Smith: On Wednesdays we wear pink!


  • Karen Smith: Gretchen, I'm sorry I laughed at you that time you got diarrhea at Barnes & Noble. And I'm sorry for telling everyone about it. And I'm sorry for repeating it now.


  • Gretchen Weiners: Oh my God, Karen! You can't just ask people why they're white!


  • Damian: Oh, my God! I 'love' this song!
    Janis Ian: I 'hate' this song!
    Cady Heron: I 'know' this song!


  • Regina George: Why don't I know you?
    Cady Heron: I'm new. I just moved here from Africa.
    Regina George: What?
    Cady Heron: I used to be home-schooled.
    Regina George: Wait... what?
    Cady Heron: My mom taught me at home...
    Regina George: No, I know what home-school is, I'm not retarded! So you've actually never been to a real school before? Shut up! Shut up!
    Cady Heron: I didn't say anything
    Cady Heron: I didn't say anything.
    Regina George: Wait you're from Africa? But you're, like, really pretty.
    Cady Heron: Thank you.
    Regina George: So you agree?
    Cady Heron: What?
    Regina George: You think you're really pretty?
    Cady Heron: Oh... I don't know
    Cady Heron: Oh... I don't know.


  • Gretchen Weiners: That is so fetch!
    Regina George: Gretchen, stop trying to make fetch happen! It's not going to happen!


  • Janis Ian: What is that smell?
    Cady Heron: Oh, Regina gave me some perfume
    Cady Heron: Oh, Regina gave me some perfume.
    Janis Ian: You smell like a baby prostitute
    Janis Ian: You smell like a baby prostitute.
    Cady Heron: Thanks
    Cady Heron: Thanks.


  • Regina George: Your bracelet is really pretty where did you get it? I love it!
    Cady Heron: Oh my mom made it.
    Gretchen Weiners: So Fetch!
    Regina George: What is fetch?
    Gretchen Weiners: Oh, it's like slang, from... England.


  • Cady Heron: Oh, god.
    Janis Ian: You dirty little liar!
    Cady Heron: I'm sorry, I can explain.
    Janis Ian: Explain how you forgot to invite us to your party?
    Damian: Janis, I cannot stop this car. I have a curfew.
    Cady Heron: You know I couldn't invite you. I had to pretend to be plastic.
    Janis Ian: Hey, buddy, you're not pretending anymore. You're plastic. Cold, shiny, hard plastic!
    Damian: Curfew, 1:00 AM, it is now 1:10!
    Janis Ian: Did you have an awesome time? Did you drink awesome shooters, listen to awesome music, and then just sit around and soak up each others awesomeness?
    Cady Heron: You know what? You're the one who made me like this so you could use me for your 8th grade revenge!
    Janis Ian: God! See, at least me and Regina George know we're mean! You try to act so innocent like, "Oh, I use to live in Africa with all the little birdies, and the little monkeys!"
    Janis Ian: God! See, at least me and Regina George know we're mean! You try to act so innocent like, 'Oh, I use to live in Africa with all the little birdies, and the little monkeys!'
    Cady Heron: You know what! It's not my fault you're like, in love with me, or something!
    Janis Ian: What?!
    Damian: Oh, no, she did not!
    Janis Ian: See? That's the thing with you plastics. You think everybody is in love with you when actually, everybody HATES you! Like, Aaron Samuels, for example, he broke up with Regina and guess what? He still doesn't want you! So why are you still messing with Regina, Cady? I'll tell you why, because you are a mean girl! You're a bitch! Here. You can have this. It won a prize!
    Damian: And I want my pink shirt back! I want my pink shirt back!


  • Mr. Duvall: So, uh... how was your summer?
    Ms. Norbury: I got divorced.
    Mr. Duvall: Oh. My carpal tunnel came back.
    Ms. Norbury: I win
    Ms. Norbury: I win.


  • Mr. Duvall: Hell, no. I did *not* leave the South Side for this!


  • Cady Heron: Wait Regina, I didn't mean for this to happen!
    Regina George: To find out that everyone hates me? I don't care!
    Cady Heron: Wait Regina, just listen!
    Regina George: No! Do you know what everyone says about you behind your back? Hmm? They say that you're a homeschooled jungle freak, that's a less hot version of me! Yeah, so don't try to act so innocent! You can take that fake apology, and shove it right up your hairy c-!
    Cady Heron: (Narrating) And that's how Regina died, no I'm totally kidding but she was hurt. Some people say the bus meant to hit her, but that was just a rumor. Other people said that 'I' pushed her. That was a even worse rumor.
    Cady Heron: [narrating] And that's how Regina died, no I'm totally kidding but she was hurt. Some people say the bus meant to hit her, but that was just a rumor. Other people said that 'I' pushed her. That was a even worse rumor.


  • Betsy Heron: Where's Cady?
    Chip Heron: Oh she went out
    Chip Heron: Oh she went out.
    Betsy Heron: But she's grounded
    Betsy Heron: But she's grounded.
    Chip Heron: Oh are they not allowed out when they're grounded?


  • Cady Heron: Hey!
    Regina George: Why were you talking to Janis Ian?
    Cady Heron: I don't know, I mean, she's so weird, she just, you know, came up to me and started talking to me about crack.
    Regina George: She's so pathetic. Let me tell you something about Janis Ian. We were best friends in middle school. I know, right? It's so embarrassing. I don't even... Whatever. So then in eighth grade, I started going out with my first boyfriend Kyle who was totally gorgeous but then he moved to Indiana, and Janis was like, weirdly jealous of him. Like, if I would blow her off to hang out with Kyle, she'd be like, "Why didn't you call me back?" And I'd be like, "Why are you so obsessed with me?" So then, for my birthday party, which was an all-girls pool party, I was like, "Janis, I can't invite you, because I think you're lesbian." I mean I couldn't have a lesbian at my party. There were gonna be girls there in their *bathing suits*. I mean, right? She was a LESBIAN. So then her mom called my mom and started yelling at her, it was so retarded. And then she dropped out of school because no one would talk to her, and she came back in the fall for high school, all of her hair was cut off and she was totally weird, and now I guess she's on crack.


  • Mrs. George: I'm not a regular mom, I'm a cool mom!"
    Mrs. George: I'm not a regular mom, I'm a cool mom!


  • Karen Smith: If you're from Africa, Why are you white?
    Gretchen Weiners: Oh My Gosh, Karen, You don't just ask people why they're white.


  • Gretchen Weiners: [in her English class essay, after being humiliated by Regina] Why should Caesar get to stomp around like a giant, while the rest of us try not to get smushed under his big feet? What's so great about Caesar? Hm? Brutus is just as cute as Caesar. Brutus is just as smart as Caesar. People totally like Brutus just as much as they like Caesar. And when did it become okay for one person to be the boss of everybody, huh? Because that's not what Rome is about. We should totally just *stab* Caesar!


  • Janis Ian: You got your... freshmen, ROTC guys, preps, J.V. jocks, Asian nerds, Cool Asians, Varsity jocks, Unfriendly black hotties, Girls who eat their feelings, Girls who don't eat anything, Desperate wannabes, Burnouts, Sexually active band geeks, the greatest people you will ever meet and the worst: Beware of plastics.


  • Janis Ian: You smell like a baby prostitute.


  • Gretchen Weiners: So Fetch!
    Regina George: What is fetch?
    Gretchen Weiners: Oh, it's like slang, from... England.


  • Cady Heron: And none for Gretchen Weiners. Bye.
    Damian: And none for Gretchen Weiners. Bye.


  • Coach Carr: Don't have sex. Because you will get pregnant. And die.


  • Karen Smith: So if you're from Africa, why are you white?
    Regina George: Oh my god Karen! You can't just ask people why they're white.


  • Cady Heron: You know I couldn't invite you! I had to pretend to be Plastic!
    Janis Ian: Pfft! Buddy, you're not pretending anymore! You're PLASTIC. Cold, shiny, hard plastic.


  • Gretchen Weiners: I'm sorry that people are so jealous of me... but I can't help it that I'm so popular.


  • Regina George: Get in loser, we're going shopping.


  • Janis Ian: That there is Karen Smith. She is one of the dumbest girls you will ever meet. Damian sat next to her in English last year.
    Damian: She asked me how to spell 'orange'.
    Cady Heron: *Smirks*.
    Janis Ian: That little one, that's Gretchen Weiners.
    Damian: She's totally rich because her dad invented Toaster Strudel.
    Janis Ian: Gretchen is in everybody's business. She knows everything about everyone.
    Damian: That's why her hair is so big. It's full of secrets.
    Janis Ian: And evil takes a human form in Regina George. Don't get me wrong, she may seem like your typical selfish,back-stabbing slut faced ho-bag but in reality, she's so much more than that.
    Damian: She's the Queen Bee, the Star. Those other two are just her little workers.


  • Karen Smith: (On the phone with Regina) I can't go out tonight *fake coughs*. I'm sick.
    Karen Smith: [on the phone with Regina] I can't go out tonight *fake coughs*. I'm sick.
    Regina George: Boo you whore! *hangs up*.


  • Gretchen Weiners: What are you?
    Karen Smith: I'm a mouse DuH!..


  • Janis Ian: Your mom's chest hair!


  • Karen Smith: Ex-boyfriends are off limits to friends
    Karen Smith: Ex-boyfriends are off limits to friends.
    Gretchen Wieners: Ex-boyfriends are off limits to friends.


  • Karen Smith: If you're from Africa... Why are you white?
    Gretchen Weiners: Oh my god, Karen. You can't just ask people why they're white!


  • Damian: She doesn't even go here!


  • Cady Heron: You know I couldn't invite you, I had to pretend to be plastic!
    Janis Ian: Pfft! Buddy, you're not pretending anymore. You're plastic. Cold, shiny hard plastic.


  • Cady Heron: I know I may seem like a bitch, but that's only because I'm acting like a bitch.


  • Damian: Oh my God, Danny DeVito I love your work!


  • Regina George: "I want to lose 3 pounds..."
    Regina George: I want to lose 3 pounds...


  • Karen Smith: (in a fake sick voice) i cant go out, im sick *cough* cough*
    Karen Smith: [in a fake sick voice] I can't go out, I'm sick. *cough* cough*
    Regina George: Boo, you whore
    Regina George: Boo, you whore.


  • Karen Smith: My breasts, then can sense when its going to rain
    Karen Smith: My breasts, then can sense when its going to rain.
    Cady Heron: thats amazing
    Cady Heron: That's amazing.
    Karen Smith: well, they can sense when its raining
    Karen Smith: Well, they can sense when its raining.


  • Janis Ian: Those bitches!


  • Gretchen Weiners: you cant sit here!!!!
    Gretchen Weiners: You can't sit here!


  • Cady Heron: grool. I meant to say great but then I started to say cool.
    Cady Heron: Grool. I meant to say great but then I started to say cool.


  • Damian: She doesn't even go here!


  • Gretchen Weiners: I'm sorry that people are so jealous of me. But I can't help it that I'm popular.


  • Coach Carr: Don't have sex. Don't have sex in the missionary position, don't have sex standing up... just don't do it, promise? Take some rubbers.


  • Janis Ian: That there is Karen Smith. She is one of the dumbest girls you will ever meet. Damian sat next to her in English glass last year.
    Damian: She asked me how to spell orange.
    Janis Ian: And that little one, that's Gretchen Weiners. She's in everybody's business. She knows everything about everyone.
    Damian: That's why her hair is so big. It's full of secrets!


  • Cady Heron: And on the third day God created the Remington Bolt Action Rifle so that man could shoot the dinosaurs, and the homosexuals.


  • Damian: [delivering candy canes] Taylor Zimmermann, two for you. Glenn Coco? Four for you, Glenn Coco! You go, Glenn Coco. And uh... "Caddy" Heron. Do we have a "Caddy" Heron here?
    Damian: [delivering candy canes] Taylor Zimmermann, two for you. Glenn Coco? Four for you, Glenn Coco! You go, Glenn Coco. And uh... 'Caddy' Heron. Do we have a 'Caddy' Heron here?
    Cady Heron: It's Cady.
    Damian: Oh Cady, here you go, one for you. And none for Gretchen Wieners, bye.


  • Karen Smith: [to Cady] So if you're from Africa, why are you white?
    Gretchen Weiners: Oh my God Karen, you can't just ask people why they're white.


  • Gretchen Weiners: Make sure you check out her mom's boob job. They're hard as rocks! *wink*


  • Damian: I want my pink shirt back!
    Damian: And I want my pink shirt back!


  • Janis Ian: I don't know why. Its probably because I have a big, fat LESBIAN crush on you. Suck on that! Aye aye aye!
    Janis Ian: I guess it's probably because I've got a big *lesbian* crush on you! Suck on *that*!


  • Damian: Glenn Coco? FOUR for you Glenn Coco! You GO Glenn Coco.
    Damian: [delivering candy canes] Taylor Zimmermann, two for you. Glenn Coco? FOUR for you, Glenn Coco! You go, Glenn Coco.


  • Regina George: Is butter a carb?
    Cady Heron: ............. YES.
    Cady Heron: YES.
    Cady Heron: Yes!


  • Gretchen Weiners: Ohmigawd Karen you can't just ask people why they're white
    Gretchen Weiners: Oh my god Karen, you can't just ask people why they're white.


  • Janis Ian: Plastic!


  • Janis Ian: Your mom's chest hair!


  • Damian: My nanna takes off her wig when she's drunk..
    Damian: My grandma takes her wig off when she's drunk.
    Ms. Norbury: Your nanna and I have that in common.
    Ms. Norbury: Your grandmother and I have that in common.


  • Janis Ian: That one there, that's Karen Smith, she is one of the dumbest girls you will ever meet. Damian sat next to her in English last year.
    Damian: She asked me how to spell orange.
    Janis Ian: That little one, that's Gretchen Wieners.
    Damian: She's totally rich because her dad invented Toaster Streudels.
    Janis Ian: Gretchen Wieners know's everybody's knows everybody's business, she knows everything about everyone.
    Damian: That's why her hair is so big, it's full of secrets.
    Janis Ian: And evil takes a human form in Regina George. Don't be fooled because she may seem like your typical selfish, back-stabbing slut faced ho-bag, but in reality, she's so much more than that.
    Damian: She's the queen bee - the star, those other two are just her little workers.


  • Gretchen Weiners: You can't sit with us!


  • Regina George: Boo! You whore.
    Regina George: Boo, you whore!


  • Gretchen Weiners: I'm sorry that people are so jealous of me... but I can't help it that I'm so popular.


  • Karen Smith: So if you're from Africa....then why are you white?
    Karen Smith: So if you're from Africa. Then why are you white?


  • Regina George: Boo You Whore
    Regina George: Boo, you whore!


  • Damian: Glenn Coco? FOUR for you, Glenn Coco! You go, Glenn Coco!
    Damian: Glenn Coco? FOUR for you, Glenn Coco! You go, Glenn Coco.


  • Gretchen Weiners: that is so Fetch!
    Gretchen Weiners: That is so fetch!


  • Regina George: get in loser, we're going shopping!
    Regina George: Get in loser, we're going shopping.


  • Regina George: That is the ugliest f-ing skirt I've ever seen.


  • Bethany: It said in that book that I lied about being a virgin because I use super-jumbo tampons, but I can't help it if I've got a heavy flow and a wide-set vagina.


  • Damian: Danny Devito! I love your work!


  • Ms. Norbury: Hi! Would you like to buy some drugs?
    Ms. Norbury: Hi! Did you wanna to buy some drugs?


  • Gretchen Weiners: You can't sit with us!


  • Janis Ian: (when asked what her wig is made of) Your mum's chest hair!


  • Karen Smith: If you're from Africa.. why are you white?
    Gretchen Weiners: OMG Karen you can't just ask people why they're white..
    Gretchen Weiners: OMG Karen you can't just ask people why they're white!


  • Regina George: Boo, you whore!


  • Cady Heron: I know it may look like I was being like a bitch, but that's only because I was acting like a bitch.


  • Cady Heron: Regina said she'll talk to Aaron. And now she is. How can Janis hate her? She's such a good... SLUT!


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