I watched the 1988 movie "Memories of Me," with Alan King and Billy Crystal for the first time yesterday afternoon. It was about a film-extra actor who never could realy get his act together until the final act of his life when his son, a doctor, comes into his life to try and reconcile his relationship with his estranged father. The lead character played by Alan King, BTW a fantastic actor in real-life and in this role, and a greaat comic, seemed to exhibit textbook ADHD traits in his part as the loose-tongued 63 year old. Eating tacos for breakfast, smoking and filled with boundless energy, enthusiasm and self-neglect. He basically acts impulsively and recklessly with no thought of the consequences of his words or actions on others. He also has such low-regard for himself and such self-loathing that he willingly sits in the shadows whilst lesser luminaries, like his former felow extra actors, move on to bigger and brighter jobs in the entertainment biz while he languishes without an agent continuing to struggle for roles as he ages.
I am a talented singer. Hear me singing here: Amy Zents Sings "Memory." Yet for the past 48 years I have not advanced beyound doing local low-paying gigs. Just like the lead character in "Memories of Me," like the Alan King character in "Memories of Me," at some level, I have been afraid to be "discovered." Yet, it would matter to me a lot. But, I think I feel secretly afraid. Also, I don't take care of my health as well as I should. True, I quit drinking and smoking, but I eat like a horse and don't get enough exercise.