Miss Congeniality - Movie Quotes - Rotten Tomatoes

Miss Congeniality Quotes

  • Victor Melling: Oh my God! I haven't seen a walk like that since Jurassic Park!

  • Victor Melling: Smilers wear a crown, losers wear a frown.
    Gracie Hart: I would so love to hurt you right now.

  • Eric Matthews: What do you say, Hart?
    Gracie Hart: No freakin way!
    Eric Matthews: Sparky, why not?
    Gracie Hart: Cause I'm not gonna parade around in a swimsuit like some airhead bimbo that goes by the name of, what, Gracie Lou Freebush, and all she wants is world peace?!

  • Kathy Morningside: New Jersey, as you may know, there are many who consider the Miss United States Pageant to be out dated and... and de-feminist. What would you say to them?
    Victor Melling: Oh my God.
    Gracie Hart: Well, I would say that I used to be one of them. And then I came here and I realized that, these women are smart, terrific people who are just trying to make a difference in the world. And we've become really good friends. I mean, I know that we secretly wish the other one to trip and fall on her face, but oh, wait a minute, I've already done that! [everyone laughs and applause] And for me, this experience has been one of the most, rewarding and liberating experiences of my life.
    Victor Melling: My, God, I did it.
    Gracie Hart: And if anyone, anyone, tries to hurt one of my new friends, I would take them out. I would make them suffer so much, that they'd wish they were never born. And if they ran, I would hunt them down. Thank you Kathy. [Stan claps, but everyone mutters amongst themselves]
    Victor Melling: A brief shining moment, and then that mouth.

  • Stan Fields: We'll be back with our final five lesbian--- interviews!

  • Cheryl "Rhode Island": In a way, America's like a big ship. And when we all work together and respect each other, that's when ship get safely home.

  • Gracie Hart: Ok, Dalai Lama, Dalai Lama, Dalai Lama. [cracks up and laughs]

  • Gracie Hart: [Victor walks up to Gracie with fake breasts] Those better be candy dishes!

  • Victor Melling: I've never been prouder. Or, of any girls that i have coached, you are truly unique. If i ever had a daughter, I'd imagine that she would be something like you. Which is perhaps why I've never reproduced.

  • Cheryl "Rhode Island": One time, I stole red underwear from the department store. My mother wouldn't buy them for me, she said they were Satan's panties.

  • Gracie Hart: Hi, I overslept my beauty sleep.
    Cheryl "Rhode Island": Gracie, do you need help?
    Gracie Hart: No. [fumbles with make up] God, ok, now which one of these is a lipstick?
    Cheryl "Rhode Island": [everyone exclaims in shock] Ladies!

  • Kathy Morningside: Well, I earned it, honey. 25 years of bitch and beauty queen and what do I get? Fired, they steal my life, they steal my beauty pageant.
    Gracie Hart: Hey! Hey, it is not a beauty pageant, it is a scholarship program.
    Kathy Morningside: Yeah, yeah.
    Gracie Hart: Yes.

  • Kathy Morningside: Frank. Frank. FRANK!

  • Gracie Hart: Excuse me what is your problem?
    Victor Melling: Problem?
    Gracie Hart: Yeah. I mean "yes." I mean have I offended you in some way, because quite frankly you've been completely antagonistic since the second I walked through that door.
    Gracie Hart: Yeah. I mean 'yes.' I mean have I offended you in some way, because quite frankly you've been completely antagonistic since the second I walked through that door.

  • Victor Melling: Sorry, what was the question? I...I was distracted by the half masticated cow, rolling around in your wide open trap.

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