The Monster Squad - Movie Quotes - Rotten Tomatoes

The Monster Squad Quotes

  • Army General: Can somebody tell me what in the Sam hill is going on here?!
    Sean: Well, we can sir.
    Army General: Who are you?
    Sean: ...We're the Monster Squad!
    Sean: We're the Monster Squad!


  • Sean: Kick him in the nards! Kick him in the nards!
    Horace: He doesn't have nards!
    Sean: Do it, do it!
    Horace: (after kicking) - Wolfman's got nards!
    Horace: (after kicking) Wolfman's got nards!


  • Del Sean's Father: I'm glad you're gettin' major laughs outta this, Rich. The problem is two-thousand year-old dead guys do not get up and walk away by themselves.
    Del Sean's Father: I'm glad you're gettin' major laughs outta this, Rich. The problem is two-thousand year old dead guys do not get up and walk away by themselves.


  • Wolfman: (fires two shots in the air) - Lock me up!
    Wolfman: (fires two shots in the air) Lock me up!


  • Count Dracula: (holding Phoebe up by her throat) Give me the amulet, you BITCH!


  • Phoebe Sean's Sister: (outside the tree house, wanting to join the club) Mom says you have to let me in or else it's prescription!
    Sean: That's 'discrimination' jerkoid! Prescription is drugs, which you're on if you think you're getting in here!


  • Patrick: Rudy, where you going?
    Rudy: (cigarette in his mouth, pulling out crossbow) I'm in the goddamn club aren't I?


  • Rudy: Where the hell am I supposed to find silver bullets? K-Mart?


  • Count Dracula: Meeting adjourned.


  • Sean: If we pull this off, I'm gonna sh*t!


  • E.J.: Hey Fat Kid! Good job.
    Horace: My name...is Horace!
    Horace: My name, is Horace!


  • Rudy: See? Told ya. Only one way to kill a werewolf.


  • Eugene: Creature stole my twinkie!


  • Rudy: You dropped your candy bar, E.J.
    E.J.: It's his.
    Rudy: It's yours now.
    E.J.: ...Rudy!
    E.J.: Rudy!
    Rudy: Eat.
    E.J.: Rudy, I'm not gonna...
    Rudy: Eat up! Then we'll call it a day.


  • Horace: No, Sean! Scary house! Real monsters! Us, twelve years old, remember?
    Sean: Midnight, end of the world, remember?


  • Frankenstein: BOGUS! Bogus.


  • Rudy: (after ridding the mummy) - See ya later, Band-Aid Breath
    Rudy: (after ridding the mummy) See ya later, Band-Aid Breath


  • Sean: Rudy find some silver bullets.
    Rudy: Where the hell am I supposed to find silver bullets?
    Sean: I don't know. Fat kid get a map, find Shadowbrook Road.
    Horace: What do I look in; the index for big scary mansion?
    Horace: What do I look in, the index for big scary mansion?


  • Patrick: You're not a virgin are you? No? What do you mean No?
    Patrick's Sister: Well, Steve but he doesn't count.
    Patrick: DOESN'T COUNT?!!
    Patrick: DOESN'T COUNT?!


  • Rudy: Look, what your brother is so delicately attempting to inquire, and let me add my own personal curiosity, is the degree to which you may have, or have not, at some point in time...been dorked?
    Rudy: Look, what your brother is so delicately attempting to inquire, and let me add my own personal curiosity, is the degree to which you may have, or have not, at some point in time been dorked?


  • Del Sean's Father: Relax, tomorrow we'll go see Groundhog Day Part 12 together. I'll get off work early.
    Sean: Tomorrow?! That'll be too late; the guys will blab the whole plot!
    Del Sean's Father: "Plot"? Did I hear "PLOT"? Sean, it is a guy with an axe! Anyway, I thought they killed him in the last one.
    Del Sean's Father: 'Plot'? Did I hear 'PLOT'? Sean, it is a guy with an axe! Anyway, I thought they killed him in the last one.
    Sean: ...They did. And...he returns from his grave.
    Sean: They did. And...he returns from his grave.
    Del Sean's Father: Sean, he always returns from his grave. If they blew him up, put his head in a blender, and mailed the rest of the pieces to Norway, he would STILL return from the grave!
    Sean: That was Part 7.


  • Co-Pilot: I'm...gonna, uh, I'm gonna check it out.
    Co-Pilot: I'm gonna, uh, I'm gonna check it out.
    Co-Pilot: Okay...good, you do that....I'll stay here and make spooky sounds.
    Co-Pilot: Okay good, you do that, I'll stay here and make spooky sounds.


  • Rudy: Yeah, what the hell's Monster Squad?
    Sean: It's US. WE'RE the Monster Squad.
    Patrick: Since when?
    Sean: Since NOW.
    Horace: What's a squad?
    Patrick: Like Miami Vice, I think.


  • Horace: Scary German Guy's bitchin'!


  • Sean: Look, Wolfman doesn't go to work; he's not like a guy!
    Sean: Look, Wolfman doesn't go to work, he's not like a guy!
    Patrick: What are you talkin' about, he walks around, he wears pants.
    Sean: He had to wear pants; those movies were made in the 40's! He had to wear 'em so you wouldn't see his...wolf-dork.
    Sean: He had to wear pants, those movies were made in the 40's! He had to wear 'em so you wouldn't see his wolf-dork.


  • Mr. Metzger: I hear you. I was a kid once. I thought monsters were cool. And maybe, well- well, gosh...maybe I'm just a big kid; because, Sean, Patrick...I think science is cool...I dig it, man.
    Mr. Metzger: I hear you. I was a kid once. I thought monsters were cool. And maybe, well, well, gosh. Maybe I'm just a big kid, because, Sean, Patrick, I think science is cool. I dig it, man.


  • Patrick: Wait, I just wanna say one thing. I mean, Mrs. Carlson's a nice teacher and all, but she's boring and has an odd-shaped head. That's why Sean and the guys call her Meow Mix, 'cause her head's shaped like a cat head. But I don't, sir, 'cause how rude.


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