The Muppet Christmas Carol - Movie Quotes - Rotten Tomatoes

The Muppet Christmas Carol Quotes

  • Fozzie Bear: My speech! Here's my Christmas speech. Ahem. "Thank you all, and Merry Christmas."
    Fozzie Bear: My speech! Here's my Christmas speech. Ahem. 'Thank you all, and Merry Christmas.'
    Jacob Marley: That was the speech?
    Robert Marley: It was dumb!
    Jacob Marley: It was obvious!
    Robert Marley: It was pointless!
    Jacob Marley: It was...short! [turns to Robert]
    Jacob Marley: It was... short! [turns to Robert]
    Jacob Marley: I loved it!! [simultaneously]
    Jacob Marley: I loved it! [simultaneously]
    Robert Marley: I loved it!! [simultaneously]
    Robert Marley: I loved it! [simultaneously]


  • Rizzo the Rat: "I fell down the chimney and landed on a flaming hot goose!"
    Rizzo the Rat: I fell down the chimney and landed on a flaming hot goose!
    Great Gonzo: "You have all the fun!"
    Great Gonzo: You have all the fun!


  • Great Gonzo: "He was a tight-fisted hand at the grindstone, Scr...[notices the smudged window of Scrooge's office] "Boy, this really *is* a dirty city!"
    Great Gonzo: He was a tight-fisted hand at the grindstone, Scr...[notices the smudged window of Scrooge's office] Boy, this really *is* a dirty city!
    Rizzo the Rat: "Heh you're telling me!"
    Rizzo the Rat: Heh you're telling me!
    Rizzo the Rat: (Gonzo grabs Rizzo and uses him to wipe off the window pane] " Thank you for makin' me a part of this!"
    Rizzo the Rat: [Gonzo grabs Rizzo and uses him to wipe off the window pane] Thank you for makin' me a part of this!
    Great Gonzo: [Dropping Rizzo] "He was a tight-fisted hand at the grindstone, Scrooge: a squeezing, wrenching, grasping, clutching, covetous old sinner!"
    Great Gonzo: [dropping Rizzo] He was a tight-fisted hand at the grindstone, Scrooge: a squeezing, wrenching, grasping, clutching, covetous old sinner!


  • Kermit the Frog: "If you please Mr. Scrooge, it's gotten colder, and the bookkeeping staff would like an extra shovel full of coal for the fire?"
    Kermit the Frog: If you please Mr. Scrooge, it's gotten colder, and the bookkeeping staff would like an extra shovel full of coal for the fire?
    Additional Muppet Performer: "We can't do the bookkeeping, all our pens have turned to inkcicles!"
    Additional Muppet Performer: We can't do the bookkeeping, all our pens have turned to inkcicles!
    Additional Muppet Performer: "Our assets are frozen!"
    Additional Muppet Performer: Our assets are frozen!
    Ebenezer Scrooge: "How would the bookkeeping staff like to be suddenly... UNEMPLOYED?"
    Ebenezer Scrooge: How would the bookkeeping staff like to be suddenly... UNEMPLOYED?
    Additional Muppet Performer: [singing] "HEAT WAVE. This is my island in the sun.. "
    Additional Muppet Performer: [singing] HEAT WAVE. This is my island in the sun.


  • Rizzo the Rat: "Oh, Gonzo, speak to me! I mean, Mr. Dickens. Charlie! Are ya hurt?"
    Rizzo the Rat: Oh, Gonzo, speak to me! I mean, Mr. Dickens. Charlie! Are ya hurt?
    Great Gonzo: [sits up] "To say that Scrooge became startled would be untrue. Still the moment had passed, and the world was as it should." be.
    Great Gonzo: [sits up] To say that Scrooge became startled would be untrue. Still the moment had passed, and the world was as it should be.
    Rizzo the Rat: "He ain't hurt, didn't even break his concentration."
    Rizzo the Rat: He ain't hurt, didn't even break his concentration.
    Great Gonzo: "Huh?"
    Great Gonzo: Huh?
    Rizzo the Rat: "Nothing!"
    Rizzo the Rat: Nothing!


  • Rizzo the Rat: "How do you know what Scrooge is doin'? We're down here and he's up there!"
    Rizzo the Rat: How do you know what Scrooge is doin'? We're down here and he's up there!
    Great Gonzo: "I told you, storytellers are omniscient; I know everything!"
    Great Gonzo: I told you, storytellers are omniscient; I know everything!
    Rizzo the Rat: "Hoity-toity, Mr. Godlike Smarty-Pants!"
    Rizzo the Rat: Hoity-toity, Mr. Godlike Smarty-Pants!
    Great Gonzo: "To conduct a proper search, Scrooge was forced to light the lamps." [the lamps come on]
    Great Gonzo: To conduct a proper search, Scrooge was forced to light the lamps. [the lamps come on]
    Rizzo the Rat: "How DOES he do that?!"
    Rizzo the Rat: How DOES he do that?


  • Great Gonzo: "Once again, I must ask you to remember that the Marleys were dead, and decaying in their graves."
    Great Gonzo: Once again, I must ask you to remember that the Marleys were dead, and decaying in their graves.
    Rizzo the Rat: "Yuck!"
    Rizzo the Rat: Yuck!
    Great Gonzo: [whispering] "That one thing you must remember, or nothing that follows will seem wondrous."
    Great Gonzo: [whispering] That one thing you must remember, or nothing that follows will seem wondrous.
    Rizzo the Rat: "Why are you whispering?"
    Rizzo the Rat: Why are you whispering?
    Great Gonzo: "It's for dramatic emphasis".
    Great Gonzo: It's for dramatic emphasis.


  • Rizzo the Rat: "Boy, that's scary stuff! Should we be worried about the kids in the audience?"
    Rizzo the Rat: Boy, that's scary stuff! Should we be worried about the kids in the audience?
    Great Gonzo: "Nah, it's all right. This is culture!"
    Great Gonzo: Nah, it's all right. This is culture!


  • Rizzo the Rat: "There are two things in this life I hate: heights, and jumping from them."
    Rizzo the Rat: There are two things in this life I hate: heights, and jumping from them.
    Great Gonzo: "Too late now. Come on, I'll catch you."
    Great Gonzo: Too late now. Come on, I'll catch you.
    Rizzo the Rat: "God save my little broken body!"
    Rizzo the Rat: God save my little broken body!
    Great Gonzo: "Missed."
    Great Gonzo: Missed.
    Rizzo the Rat: " Oh wait a second... I forgot my jellybeans. Um..." [Slides through the bars to retrieve them, and joins Gonzo back on the other side. Gonzo stares at him] "What?"
    Rizzo the Rat: Oh wait a second... I forgot my jellybeans. Um... [Slides through the bars to retrieve them, and joins Gonzo back on the other side. Gonzo stares at him] What?
    Great Gonzo: "You can fit through those bars?"
    Great Gonzo: You can fit through those bars?
    Rizzo the Rat: "Yeah."
    Rizzo the Rat: Yeah.
    Great Gonzo: "You are such an idiot."
    Great Gonzo: You are such an idiot.
    Rizzo the Rat: 'What, come on what!"
    Rizzo the Rat: What, come on what!


  • Rizzo the Rat: "Rats don't understand these things."
    Rizzo the Rat: Rats don't understand these things.
    Great Gonzo: "You were never a lonely child?"
    Great Gonzo: You were never a lonely child?
    Rizzo the Rat: "I had twelve hundred and seventy four brothers and sisters."
    Rizzo the Rat: I had twelve hundred and seventy four brothers and sisters.
    Great Gonzo: "Boy Rats don't understand these things!"
    Great Gonzo: Boy Rats don't understand these things!


  • Ebenezer Scrooge: There's more of gravy than of grave about you!


  • Sam Eagle: It's the American way!
    Great Gonzo: Sam, *whispers in Sam's ear*
    Sam Eagle: Ahem! It's the BRITISH way!


  • Kermit the Frog: It's the annual penguin skating party!


  • Rizzo the Rat: Thank you for making me a part of this.


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