Critical Consensus: "Lady" Is All Wet; "Ex" Is Not Super; "House" Is Scary, "Clerks" Is FunnyM. Night Shyamalan's "Lady in the Water" and "Monster House") and some funny couples ("My Super Ex-Girlfriend," with Uma Thurman and Luke Wilson, and Kevin Smith's "Clerks II," featuring Jay and Silent Bob). What do the critics have to say?
For a moment, it appeared that M. Night Shyamalan would join the top tier of contemporary directors. "The Sixth Sense" and "Signs" were commercial and critical hits, establishing a winning combination of spooky, twisty plots and spiritual quests. But now, after the lukewarm critical reaction to "The Village," and the absolute drubbing that his latest, "Lady in the Water," is taking, it's looking like Shyamalan may be adrift. (The fact that "Water" star Bryce Dallas Howard's dad was piloting the craft when Fonzie jumped the shark is purely coincidental.) The film tells the story of a super (Paul Giamatti) at a drab apartment complex who discovers a mythical creature (Howard) living beneath the swimming pool. Though its description makes "Lady" sound like a simple fairy tale, critics say the film is needlessly complex, ponderous, and pretentious. At 22 percent on the Tomatometer, "Lady in the Water" is out to sea.
Ignoring the sound advice of his co-stars, Paul Giamatti's characters continue to drink and dial.
On every street, there's one house that's just a little creepy, a place that inspires trepidation and even fear among the neighborhood kids. In "Monster House," there's a residence that actually attacks people. The critics say this CG film, featuring the voices of Maggie Gyllenhaal, Nick Cannon, and Steve Buscemi, is technically excellent and effective as a funny, scary funhouse ride of a movie. But perhaps it's a little too effective; more than a few of the scribes say the movie may be way too scary for younger viewers. Still, at 66 percent on the Tomatometer, this "House" may be a prime piece of real estate.
Yes, children.... mortgage payments are scary.
"My Super Ex-Girlfriend" has a pretty amusing premise: A guy is on the outs with his girlfriend, but she's a superhero, and uses her powers to thwart his budding romance with a coworker. Plus, director Ivan Reitman and stars Uma Thurman and Luke Wilson are pretty adept at light comedy. So what's the problem? Well, the critics say the movie never quite transcends its premise. While the scribes say the leads are solid and the script does a decent job of poking fun at the superhero genre, the execution is ultimately too flat to make this material soar. "My Super Ex-Girlfriend" is at 45 percent on the Tomatometer.
It appears Uma has seen "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" one too many times.
If it wasn't for Bruce Springsteen, Kevin Smith would likely be the voice of New Jersey. His "Clerks" changed the landscape of indie cinema in the 1990s; its DIY aesthetic inspired hundreds of other kids in the suburbs with demented minds and big dreams to pick up a camera and document their existential crises. In "Clerks II," he revisits Dante and Randal, those lovable, potty-mouthed slackers, who've barely changed a lick in a decade (aside from the release of the "Lord of the Rings" trilogy and the presence of Rosario Dawson, which at least gives them something new to talk about). The critics say that while "Clerks II" will not break any new ground, it will please the legions of Kevin Smith acolytes with its witty, ribald humor. At 70 percent on the Tomatometer, "Clerks II" may be worth a stop, though it's still a cut below the original, at 85 percent.
Buncha savages in this town.
Also in theaters this week in limited release: Ryuhei Kitamura's "Azumi" is at 57 percent on the Tomatometer; "Shadowboxer," starring Cuba Gooding Jr. and Helen Mirren, is at 44 percent; and the bloody indie "Mad Cowgirl" is at 17 percent.
Recent M. Night Shyamalan Movies:
43% -- The Village (2004)
75% -- Signs (2002)
67% -- Unbreakable (2000)
83% -- The Sixth Sense (1999)
38% -- Wide Awake (1998)
Recent Kevin Smith Movies:
41% -- Jersey Girl (2004)
51% -- Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back (2001)
68% -- Dogma (1999)
93% -- Chasing Amy (1997)
49% -- Mallrats (1996)