Ninja Cheerleaders (2007)
Critic Consensus: No consensus yet.
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as Jimmy the Snitch
as Victor Lazzaro
as Det. Harris
as Beer Gut
as Don Lazzaro
as Detective Foxey
Critic Reviews for Ninja Cheerleaders
Audience Reviews for Ninja Cheerleaders
This movie probably deserves a half star but making fun of it was enjoyable enough for me to add one more.
This review contains mature subject matter. My friends and I chose to watch Ninja Cheerleaders because we expected to see a hilariously bad B-movie. Unfortunately, instead, we saw a poorly written, passably acted, unfunny, strange action/comedy with gratuitous nudity, dull characters and... Well, I'm just going to make my accusation: The writer/director has a CBT fetish. There are several scenes where the three protagonists threaten to mutilate male genitalia, and the favorite move of one of the protagonists is a "throat/groin combination". The writer/director actually addresses this issue through dialogue, but doesn't actually stop any of it. I respect the interests and fetishes of other people, but Presley, you're not making an adult film here. Sure, you show a naked woman pole dancing in numerous scene transitions, there are two entire go-go dancing sequences, and there are two topless women in one particular scene, but you also attempt to give the characters some interesting traits and you actually progress the plot at a passable pace. Speaking of the characters, Presley tries to give them way too many traits without developing them at all. They're supposed to be geniuses, they're supposed to be go-go dancers that just want money for college, they're supposed to be cheerleaders, they're supposed to be ninjas, they're supposed to be best friends since first grade, one of them is supposed to have an abusive stepfather, another is supposed to have a mother that is actually accepting of the fact that her daughter is a go-go dancer, and... You get the point. Presley gives them traits, but they are never developed. They never really seem intelligent, and they lack chemistry with one another. The fight choreography didn't impress me; the fight sequences weren't entertaining. The plot was dull, and the setup for a sequel was laughable. Oh, and what was up with the electricity and sparks on the swords during Hiroshi's fight with Kinji? Rating: 3/10 A final thought: Kinji kept referring to herself in the third person. Please, never do this. Trust me, it isn't funny or amusing unless you're doing it briefly to mock someone that does it in an attempt to be humorous.
Plain and simply: Ninja Cheerleaders is entirely horrible and a extremely painful waste of time. This "movie", and I say that with the utmost disgust, doesn't even warrant a cheap laugh.
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