Norbit - Movie Quotes - Rotten Tomatoes

Norbit Quotes

  • Mr. Wong: Norbit, you married a gorrilla
    Mr. Wong: Norbit, you married a gorilla.


  • Norbit Albert Rice: You shouldn't drink that
    Norbit Albert Rice: You shouldn't drink that.
    Rasputia: Why?
    Norbit Albert Rice: Your with child1
    Norbit Albert Rice: Your with child!
    Rasputia: Oh that, no that was gas [gases] There's your child
    Rasputia: Oh that, no that was gas. There's your child.


  • Norbit Albert Rice: We were the best of friends, we even pooped together!


  • Rasputia: How you doin?


  • Rasputia: what are you looking at norbit
    Rasputia: What are you looking at Norbit?


  • Mr. Wong: Bingo! Right in the blow hole!


  • Mr. Wong: WHALE-HO!
    Rasputia: Did somebody just call me a whale?
    Mr. Wong: Yeah! & a ho!
    Mr. Wong: Yeah!


  • Norbit Albert Rice: But you shouldn't be drinking alcohol.
    Rasputia: Why not?
    Norbit Albert Rice: Because of the baby.
    Rasputia: The baby? AHHHHHH! PPPPPPPPPPP! it was only a gas
    Rasputia: The baby? AHHHHHH! PPPPPPPPPPP! It was only a gas.


  • Pope Sweet Jesus: you fat woman physco!!
    Pope Sweet Jesus: You fat woman physco!


  • Rasputia: You're dead!


  • Norbit Albert Rice: This wedding is a sham, and I'm here to stop it!
    Kate: Norbit, what are you doing?!
    Norbit Albert Rice: I'm being a man for the first time in my life. Kate... Kate I love you!
    Kate: [Gasps; the doors then burst open and Rasputia and two of her brothers rush in]
    Rasputia: [To Norbit] What the hell did you just say?! [Everyone gasps in surprise]
    Mr. Wong: [In disgust] Ick...
    Norbit Albert Rice: You heard what I said, strumpet! [Rasputia has a shocked look on her face] I love Kate! That's right! I love you, Kate! And the last 2 weeks I spent with you have meant more to me than my whole entire miserable life with you Rasputia! It's over! Norbit Albert Rice is no longer your BITCH! [Everyone gasps while Kate smiles]
    Rasputia: AAAAAAAAAHHH!!! YOU'RE DEAD!!!


  • Mr. Wong: [After the kids say, "Ewwwwww!" when Norbit and Kate kiss] What you mean, ew?! No ew! Man kiss a woman, beautiful thing! [To Ling-Ling] Ling-Ling! Come here with your fine self! [They tongue-kiss, making the kids say, "Ewwwwwwww!" again]
    Mr. Wong: [After the kids say, 'Ewwwwww!' when Norbit and Kate kiss] What you mean, ew?! No ew! Man kiss a woman, beautiful thing! [To Ling-Ling] Ling-Ling! Come here with your fine self! [They tongue-kiss, making the kids say, 'Ewwwwwwww!' again]


  • Mr. Wong: [Before Rasputia can kill Norbit] WHALE HO!
    Rasputia: Did somebody just call me a whale?
    Mr. Wong: YEAH! AND A HO! [Throws one of the curtain rods at Rasputia and it lands in her butt, making her drop the spade]
    Rasputia: [In pain] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
    Mr. Wong: Bingo! Right in the blowhole!
    Rasputia: [Running away in fast-forward] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! [Lloyd chases after her, barking]
    Abe the Tailor: Let's get some!
    Big Jack: We dead! [The mob then chases the brothers out of town for good]


  • Kate: NO!


  • Rasputia: [Referring to Kate] Is Little Miss Skinny Bitch gonna be there?


  • Preacher: Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today--
    Norbit Albert Rice: I OBJECT!
    Preacher: [Agitated] Oh, for Christ's sake!
    Mr. Wong: [Glad] Norbit.
    Pope Sweet Jesus: [Overjoyed] Norbit!
    Kate: [Astonished] Norbit!
    Choir Member: [Singing] NORBIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!


  • Rasputia: [To the kids who stole her hat, which she now retrieved] You little bastards!


  • Pope Sweet Jesus: It's rainin' little white women!
    Lord Have Mercy: [Overjoyed] My prayers have been answered!
    Pope Sweet Jesus: Well, she'd better move, 'cause my prayer's for a cadillac.


  • Mr. Wong: [Repeated line] Bingo! Right in the blowhole!


  • Mr. Wong: Die, you son of a!


  • Norbit Albert Rice: Yeah I... I thought you'd feel that way about it, Kate. ...And that's why I took the liberty of inviting some of Deion's ex-wives down [Deion quickly looks at Norbit, stunned], so maybe they could tell you for themselves! [Deion raises his eyebrows] LADIES!


  • Kate: I'm so sorry, Norbit. I just don't trust you anymore.
    Rasputia: [Laughs] Well, well, well, Norbit! Ya lose again! Once a loser, always a loser, huh?! Now come on! Let's go!


  • Mrs. Henderson: [When Rasputia comes out of the house, followed by Lloyd barking at her repeatedly] Morning, Rasputia!
    Rasputia: Oh, "Mornin', Rasputia" my ass! I tell you what! You better do somethin' 'bout that goddamn dog! 'Cause I ain't gonna be terrorized by no dog on my own property! I'm sick of it! I'm gonna go out and purchase me a pellet rifle! And then I'm gonna give him somethin' to bark about when I start poppin' pellets in his little bug-eyed bastard's ass! [Lloyd finally stops barking and whimpers in fear; Mrs. Henderson is quite offended] Messin' around with you, now I'm gonna be late for dance class! [Tries to get into the car, but gets stuck for a bit and closes the door] Goddamn it, Norbit! How many times do I gotta tell you when you drive my car, don't adjust my seat!
    Norbit Albert Rice: I didn't touch your seat.
    Rasputia: Then why is it so damn far?!
    Norbit Albert Rice: It looks like it's back as far as it goes, Rasputia.
    Rasputia: [Looks back to see] No you moved it! I can tell! 'Cause look! When I inhale, my titty make the horn honk! Listen! [Inhales and her boobs make the horn honk] You see that?! [Does it again] That ain't right! [Does it one last time]
    Norbit Albert Rice: I hear it.
    Rasputia: Uh-huh! That scientifically prove that you was adjustin' my seat!
    Norbit Albert Rice: That's not science!
    Rasputia: It is! Now just let it go!
    Rasputia: [In a warning tone] I said let it go!
    Norbit Albert Rice: I'm just saying--
    Rasputia: [Hits his glasses; through clenched teeth] I said it was science, goddamn it!


  • Rasputia: Say Tuesday again and you ain't gonna live to see Wednesday!


  • Attendant: Um, ma'am?
    Rasputia: [Resting her hands on her hips] What?
    Attendant: Are you wearing bottoms?
    Rasputia: [Offended; gasps] Of course I'm wearin' bottoms! [Lifts up her fat to reveal her bikini bottom]
    Attendant: Okay. Come on in.
    Rasputia: How dare you! [Tries to walk through, but gets stuck] Oh, hell no! [Struggles through, almost breaking it] How... you... DOIN'! [Pulls herself out, finally breaking it]


  • Rasputia: damnit norbit how many times do i gotta tell you when you drive my car don't adjust my seat
    Rasputia: Damn it norbit how many times do I gotta tell you when you drive my car don't adjust my seat.


  • Attendant: Um, ma'm? Are you wearing bottoms
    Attendant: Um, ma'm? Are you wearing bottoms.
    Rasputia: Of course I'm wearing bottoms!! How rude!!
    Rasputia: Of course I'm wearing bottoms! How rude!


  • Norbit Albert Rice: Tuesday!


  • Rasputia: Norbit! Buster's a guest in our home! How dare you insinuate somethin' like that!


  • Rasputia: That's it. Now it's time to bring the pain!


  • Rasputa Age 10: How you doin'!


  • Rasputa Age 10: [To a young Norbit] Get your ass up and hold my hand!


  • Norbit Age 9: Who are you?
    Rasputa Age 10: Rasputia. What's your name?
    Norbit Age 9: Norbit.
    Rasputa Age 10: Norbit?! That's a stupid name!
    Norbit Age 9: Why'd you beat those boys up?
    Rasputa Age 10: To protect you. You got a girlfriend, Nesbit?
    Norbit Age 9: Uh, Norbit.
    Rasputa Age 10: [Rolls her eyes] No. Well, you do now! Get your ass up and hold my hand!
    Norbit Age 9: Okay.
    Rasputa Age 10: How you doin'!


  • Big Jack: [Serving chicken to Blue, Earl, and Rasputia] Leg. Breasts. Wing.


  • Rasputia: Oh, hell to the no!


  • Mrs. Henderson: Bring it, bitches!


  • Giovanni: RASPUTIA!
    Rasputia: [Cracks her knuckles] How you doin'!


  • Giovanni: [Fighting Rasputia] I kick the shit out of you!


  • Abe the Tailor: LATIMORE!


  • Norbit Albert Rice: Aaahh!


  • Norbit Albert Rice: Rasputia, I know we've never done this before. But we can take our time, darling. In sweet time. Yes.


  • Norbit Albert Rice: You cheated on me!
    Rasputia: It never happened!
    Norbit Albert Rice: Yes it did!
    Rasputia: [Gasps]
    Rasputia: [gasps]
    Norbit Albert Rice: And that makes you... THE QUEEN OF WHORES!!!!!
    Norbit Albert Rice: And that makes you... THE QUEEN OF WHORES!


  • Norbit Albert Rice: Rasputia, you cheated on me!
    Rasputia: Look, I told your ass ain't nothin' happened. And the next time you say it happen again, I'm gonna knock your teeth out your mouth!


  • Norbit Albert Rice: .....but you don't like water parks Rasputia!
    Norbit Albert Rice: No! I mean you dont like water parks Rasputia
    Rasputia: Yes I do! They just like amusement parks except you don't have to get off the ride to go to the bathroom
    Rasputia: Who dont like water parks i love, except you dont gotta get off the ride to go to the bathroom, how you doin!


  • Norbit Age 9: (Rasputia walks up after beating up kids bullying norbit) Who are you?
    Rasputa Age 10: Rasputia! Whats YOUR name?
    Norbit Age 9: ...Norbit.
    Rasputa Age 10: Norbit!... Thats a STUPID name!
    Norbit Age 9: Why'd you beat those boys up?
    Rasputa Age 10: To protect you! You got a girlfriend nesbit?
    Norbit Age 9: Uh, Norbit (Rasputia tsks)...... no.
    Rasputa Age 10: Well ya do NOW! Get'cha @$$ up and hold my hand!
    Norbit Age 9: Uh, ok.


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