I'm always surprised that movies like this get made because they are broken from their very conception. Let's try a little game. Here we have a move about a giant octopus attacking a submarine. Okay. Now off the top of your head, think of how many ways an octopus could be a threat to a submarine. I got...bump into it. After that, there really isn't anything, so the movie cheats to come up with octopus threats that couldn't possibly exist (somehow it gets a tentacle into the submarine), and then pads out the rest of the run time because the conflict is paper thin.
I guess it's an important plot device since it's impossible for an octopus to pick off people one by one in a submarine, no matter how clever he may be. The special effects are typically shoddy, with CGI replacing imagination once again, further signaling the downfall of movies on the whole. It's just one more buzz killer in this ridiculous, deathly dull picture. The impending meeting between the sub and the luxury cruise liner shows promise for pulling the movie out of the doldrums, but that is a let down once again. Again, it's marred by sub-standard special effects. And it's only five minutes out of an overlong film that seriously could have used some editing.
The screenwriters try to salvage it by injecting some much-needed humor into the dialogue during the last half hour, but it's too little too late. It just feels out of place in a movie that was serious to the point of absurdity for the first two-thirds. You just have to wonder why they filmmakers thought it would help at that point in the game.
For a movie like this, campy fun was the only way to go, and there's nothing fun abut "Octopus". The title creature is an afterthought at best, and he has very little screen time.
All of these things factor into enough silly action to keep the octopus attacks coming. There are plot holes and continuity and logic errors everywhere, but it keeps an interesting pace to it all and has this bizarre terrorist bombed slant that is ridiculous, and just right for this story. Plus, it does a great thing in taking the climax out of the water. Overall, a very good effort for a B-Movie, and this gets the B-Movie A+ of 3.5 stars.
You've essentially got two movies in one here: a watchable spy TV movie starring a Daniel Craig lookalike as a Russian terrorist and a shitty, boring horror B movie about a giant octopus messing around with a submarine filled with forgettable characters. Putting these two films together obviously doesn't work and you'll soon find yourself not caring about the monster and just wishing you were watching the spy movie instead.
Dire special effects, terrible but fun over (and under) acting, evil Daniel Craig dressed up like an old lady, Carolyn Lowery's slut "scientist", the line: "She's holding baby!": there are some gems here and there but you can't make a spy/giant octopus movie and expect it to just blossom into something resembling a proper film.
If you like bad movies, this has its moments. But even then, submarine movies are usually a drag and this is no exception: at 1h40m, Octopus feels about two and a half hours long. Watch it for the spy elements, the lol reaction shots, the corny one-liners, the "arriba!" transition and the schizophrenic structure but otherwise: please disperse, nothing to see here.
-Don't you get searched before being allowed into an embassy?
-Bombs count down, not up.
-Playing strip poker on the bridge, really!
-The sub surfacing is clearly in the ocean, yet they picked up the people from what looks like a lake.
-How do you get ground level photos from a satellite?
-Telling a terrorist who has killed thousands of people that he will burn cause he kills one navy guy is pretty stupid.
-You kept a prisoner in "Brig" that is also where you keep the glass bottles of ketchup, and he stayed in the same chair handcuffed for a week, did no one think that one through?
-This has the worst chase seen in any movie that I have ever seen, the fat guy looks like he is going to die of a heart attack every scene he is in.
-They are going to wipe out an entire cruise ship to rescue one guy.
-The octopus tentacle acts like it has an eye and stops and looks around and then heads for the closest person.
-You can control an entire Cruise ship from an early 90's laptop?
-In not sure which one is worse? ROOM SERVICE!!!!!! or Not in this lifetime, old chap!!!