Octopus 2: River of Fear Reviews
The cast is okay in this movie. At first I was thrilled cause it seemed that Fredric Lehne was going to have a large role, but he's out for the count thirty minutes in.
The octopus scenes are pretty terrible. There's an awful lot of Ed Wood style "shake the tentacles" scenes that go on and on and on. It took Fredric Lehne five minutes to die. And the end sequence involving lots of children getting trapped in a tunnel with some crazy old woman and her dog is hilariously awful. They pull out all the stops. Will the dog survive? Will the old woman survive? Will the children survive? Will the little girl in leg braces survive? The answer to all of these questions is "who cares".
But, like I said, the director this time out is trying, and he is stuck with a horribly low special effects budget, terrible stock footage to make it feel like "New York", and actors who give their best "American" accent.
In the middle of the night /
I go walking in my sleep /
From the mountains of faith /
To the river so deep /
I must be lookin' for something /
Something sacred I lost /
But the river is wide /
And it's too hard to cross
-- See how he changed 'Fear' to 'Dreams' (notice the similarity of the words?) -- And then he did the same thing with '... looking for something scary' which he replaced with 'sacred', again only thinly disguising the obvious message. ----
Leaves you scared about the actual meaning of 'The Piano Man', doesn't it?
also, rubber tentacles that don't actually grip people but just sort of lay over them doesn't look very threatening
for octopus 3, please invest in some sort of primitive animatronics to put inside your puppet octopus arm. i mean, fuck. come on guys. seriously.
The hackneyed story begins with a couple out for a drunken late night boat ride and they end up as octo-bait. Naturally, a lone drifter, sad, grisly and misunderstood, is the only witness to the event. Cut to up and coming NYC police detective Nick Hartfield (Michael Reilly Burke), who has just botched an undercover drug bust when he accuses a supreme court judge of trafficking (though he is seemingly fishing in the East River?!?). His veteran partner Walter (Fredric Lehne) has, naturally, requested a transfer to a desk job and only has ‚??one last case‚?? before he can switch departments. Suffice to say, we know Walter‚??s fate ten minutes into the flick.
After Nick and Walter uncover the remains of the octopus attack, the mayor‚??s assistant Rachel (Meredith Morton) hits the scene and starts asking a lot of questions. With few sufficient answers, the dynamic SCUBA duo head to an underground refuge for homeless people who play the violin and have well-furnished cubicles. Nick is reluctant to believe the lone drifter‚??s story that it‚??s an octopus responsible for all the shenanigans. That night, the cephalopod lashes out on a boat that eventually explodes, but not before we are treated to some shots of rubber tentacles that are clearly suspended by cables and a hokey shot of a neon yellow cat‚??s eye staring back at us through a misty porthole.
And so it goes. There‚??s never any explanation for the enormous octopus, including what it‚??s doing there (except to say that it ‚??must have come from Nova Scotia‚??), and no one ever thinks to phone someone else in New York City who might be a specialist on this kind of thing. Of course, we are treated to a scene when a dozen school kids are put in peril, and naturally a child in a wheelchair is the one most at risk. To cement the movie‚??s badness, there‚??s even a dream sequence where the octopus is depicted wreaking havoc on the Statue of Liberty.
Ordinarily, I‚??m all for B movies as long as there‚??s a few laughs along the way. I don‚??t mind if movies like Octopus 2: River of Fear reek of terrible effects and corny dialogue, but they have to be at least marginally interesting to justify sitting through them. It would take eight tentacles restraining me to get me to sit through this movie again, and even then I would most likely be doing everything in my power to try to break free.