Chanbara Beauty (2008)
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Critic Reviews for Chanbara Beauty
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Audience Reviews for Chanbara Beauty
There is no Samurai Bikini Squad, people! Just one rather ordinary-looking woman who occasionally strips down to a bikini during a sword fight. There's also not much of a story, lousy acting, cliche after cliche, HORRIBLY cheezy CG (including CG blood, which is always a dead giveaway of a crummy flick) and no internal consistency. Characters suddenly exhibit supernatural powers when it might make the constant action more interesting, and other times they don't have those magical abilities. Bikini squad? Heck, no. There's more screen-time for a grossly obese, bleached-blond comic-relief guy than there are bikinis in this video game flick. Even the zombies are inconsistent. How can a Japanese zombie action flick wind up being so lame? Skip this one, even if you're a fan of Japanese exploitation flicks.
Too stupid and dull for me to get past the first half hour. With this premise, you'd think it'd be entertaining on some level but it somehow manages to take itself too seriously and isn't artful enough to be enjoyably cheesy. This film is crippled by it's lack of irony.
I realize that video game-to-movie adaptations are never very good, but how do you make a film about a cowboy hat wearing, bikini clad warrior who chops up zombies with a sword... and making it utterly boring? Just a string of missed opportunities for titillation or wit or squalid gory glee, the whole thing just falls flat from the first shot. It didn't even excel in gratuity.
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