The Palm Beach Story - Movie Quotes - Rotten Tomatoes

The Palm Beach Story Quotes

  • John D. Hackensacker III: I happen to believe that tipping is un-American.


  • Gerry Jeffers: Can't you ever learn to be practical? Don't you know that the greatest men in the world have told lies, and let things be misunderstood if it was useful to them. Didn't you ever hear of a campaign promise?


  • Taxi driver: Yes Maam.
    Gerry Jeffers: Where's the best place to get a divorce?
    Tom Jeffers: Gerry, for heavens sake!
    Taxi driver: Well most people go to Reno NV, but for my money it's Palm Beach. This time of the year you've got the track, you've got the ocean, you've got the palm trees...; three months, you leave from Penn Station.
    Taxi driver: Well most people go to Reno, Nevada, but for my money, it's Palm Beach. This time of the year you've got the track, you've got the ocean, you've got the palm trees. Three months, you leave from Penn Station.
    Gerry Jeffers: Look, I'm in an awful hurry. I haven't got a dime - will you take me there for nothing?
    Taxi driver: To where, Palm Beach?
    Gerry Jeffers: No-no, just to the station
    Gerry Jeffers: No no, just to the station
    Taxi driver: - oh, sure. Hop in babe.
    Taxi driver: Oh, sure. Hop in babe.


  • Tom Jeffers: I don't want to be rude, Honey...
    Gerry Jeffers: You're not being rude, Dear, you're just being yourself. You see you're married to me - t-that's like saying you're blind to me. For a long time I've been a part of you, just something to s-snuggle up to and keep you warm at night like a blanket But you can't see me any more than you can the back of your neck. Now, - I put on new dresses I change my hair....
    Tom Jeffers: Would you mind not looking quite so gorgeous while you say all these things?
    Gerry Jeffers: You're just plastered.
    Tom Jeffers: yes, well..., we'd better get you home before you fall apart. Or do you object to spending the night under the same roof with me?
    Gerry Jeffers: I wasn't thinking about the roof.


  • Tom Jeffers: Well, if you want a divorce you're certainly entitled to it. I don't know where the money's coming from...
    Tom Jeffers: Well, if you want a divorce you're certainly entitled to it. I don't know where the money's coming from.
    Gerry Jeffers: Oh the next husband always pays for that.
    Tom Jeffers: OH - you've got him all picked out, have ya?
    Tom Jeffers: Oh, you've got him all picked out, have ya?
    Gerry Jeffers: Ohhh, you're such a child.
    Gerry Jeffers: You're such a child.


  • Gerry Jeffers: You'll never make a success with me around - I-I-I'm just a milestone around your neck.
    Tom Jeffers: Millstone.


  • Tom Jeffers: Everybody's a flop until he's a success.


  • John D. Hackensacker III: That's one of the tragedies of this life - that the men who are most in need of a beating up are always enormous.


  • Wienie King: I'm the Wienie King! I invented the Texas Wienie! Lay off 'em, you'll live longer.


  • Gerry Jeffers: Anyway, men don't get smarter as they get older. They just lose their hair.


  • John D. Hackensacker III: Chivalry is not only dead, it's decomposed.


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