Da 5 Bloods
On the Record
I May Destroy You
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i think ive seen this.....
The aliens are here. But, you knew that. No, no...not the ones cleaning your toilets and tending your kids. No, these are the people whose spaceship crash landed on Earth back on January 8, 1995, the same day and year, Emma Trost was born on the northeast German island of Ruegen. The aliens came from somewhere, far, far away. It's a place which has different rules about killing sentient beings than ours. Or does it? These aliens look exactly like humans. They can change into any human shape they like, at any time they like. Such power! This makes it hard to notice just who is and who isn't an alien. Do you have that problem? I mean with people. Can you tell who is and who isn't an alien by looking at them? Anyway, the aliens are far more intelligent than the humans; heck, they even speak fluent German. But, there aren't many of them--a small crew, that's all. They're "lost in space" so to speak...stranded on Earth.
What do the aliens want? They say, they want to get off this "miserable little planet" and go home. E.T's they are not. They're too far away from home to phone. However, they do understand how the spectacle keeps humans enthralled and so they decide that they should take charge of human events as long as they're stuck on Earth by taking over the media. By the time 2020 rolls around there are only two media giants left in the marketplace of ideas and the aliens essentially control both and with them, they've got the human race either working along like apolitical automatons or actively engaged as masochistic, passive-aggressive followers who wait with baited breath for the next vicarious event in their lives, the weekly episode of "Cannibal talk", a listener call-in show which caters to those in need of a large, shocking dose authoritarian decision making in their lives. "What do I do about a husband who is cheating?" one listener asks Oskar Wagenknecht (the purported cannibal). Oskar's advice is to invite the woman to come to the forest where he will meet her and kill her because she is worthless, fat and....well, you get the picture. Actually, Oscar uses the German word for a non-human animal to eat, "fressen" as opposed to the human eating, "essen", when he speaks of the harm he will do to his callers, when and if he meets them. And his callers are thrilled! The, by now totally dictatorial government, can tell by the TV ratings. When another caller tells Oscar about having fallen on hard times after losing his job and about his rotten supervisor, our beloved cannibal star advises him to get a gun and to go out and kill people.
"Planet of the Cannibals" is shot in black and white. It's part spoof, part black humour all wrapped in an easy to follow dialogue. The Vietnamese born Minh-Khai Phan-Thi, plays Emma Trost. She's sexy and sly and the star of the film, although, she is sometimes stiff with her lines. Florian Lukas plays the human, all too human Adam Singer, her partner in crimes against the State. Together, they forge an alliance which may or may not lead to a film sequel. I wish it would, for I found these cigarette rebels quite appealing, if a bit absurd. Barbara Auer as Oscar's keeper and love interest, Heike Hasselhoff, plays leather-Queen to the tee. Vadim Glowna as the alien from planet cannibal, Oskar Wagenknecht is superb, especially at stealing hearts from the heartless.
See "Planet of the Cannibals", if you've got an hour and a half to laze about on rainy afternoon. It will stimulate your realization that all States are dictatorships to one degree or another.