Pocket Ninjas (Triple Dragon) - Movie Reviews - Rotten Tomatoes

Pocket Ninjas (Triple Dragon) Reviews

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August 8, 2013
This ranks one of the worst things to ever happen to mankind. Its right behind cancer.
½ April 3, 2012
I have said it a few times on here (and it is vastly over used by everyone) but this could possibly be the worst movie ever made. I have said that to a few movies and held that they were not beatable but Pocket Ninjas has surpased them and left them in the dust. The only thing that didn't make me take this netflix disc out of the DVD player and burning it and paying a fee was the fact that the choreography of the fights was acceptable (not good...acceptable). Wow this movie just was BAAAADDDD.
November 8, 2011
I can't believe this exists.
½ May 28, 2011
If there were as an option to award this negative stars, I'd give it -5. The editing, sound effects, acting,fight choreography and concept itself seems like it was written by 10 different kids with ADD.
May 10, 2011
WORST MOVIE OF ALL TIME. I think my eyes and ears bled throughout the whole thing. How was this allowed to be a movie?!?! It isn't even a good bad-movie! The acting is so terrible that at first it's laughable fun but eventually it grows tiresome. The plot is basically just a lot of repeated training scenes backed by corny as hell fanfare music. Have fun with that. There was only one part in the movie that made me laugh so hard that my stomach hurt (laughing AT it, not with it, mind you), but other than that, don't waste your time.
½ April 8, 2011
Good canidate 4 the worst movies ever cuz the plot is like a puzzle but with the peices from all different puzzles and none fit!
March 19, 2011
looks hilariously bad
½ March 19, 2011
One of the worst movies I have ever seen, but the sound track is hilarious.
½ January 7, 2011
I watch lots of bad movies, and this was the one I had to turn off before I finished. It really has a chance at being the worst piece of garbage ever filmed.
½ October 26, 2010
I have said it a few times on here (and it is vastly over used by everyone) but this could possibly be the worst movie ever made. I have said that to a few movies and held that they were not beatable but Pocket Ninjas has surpased them and left them in the dust. The only thing that didn't make me take this netflix disc out of the DVD player and burning it and paying a fee was the fact that the choreography of the fights was acceptable (not good...acceptable). Wow this movie just was BAAAADDDD.
½ October 23, 2010
Pocket Ninjas is a mess. Featuring environmental ninjas, instead of actual fighting ninjas!
½ October 3, 2010
Quite possibly the worst movie ever made. And I'm not talking about "it's so bad it's good", cuz this is just atrocious. Plot holes galore, beyond terrible acting and writing, gave a Looney Tunes feel, with quirky/campy fight scenes and shitty music, and the ending made absolutely no sense. Yea, thanks alot, Mike, you are never picking for Crappy Movie Night again. Advice, stay away from this if you want to save your soul.
½ May 22, 2010
Oh my god. Somewhere along the line of production there must've been some misunderstanding. There could've been a misunderstanding amongst the scriptwriter(s) or there could've been a misunderstanding amongst the sound technicians, people responsible for effects, stagecrafters, or ANYONE who was involved in the making this movie!

I do not see this movie as an actual movie. I see it as a pile of stockfootage thrown together in order to see if there is a slight possibility to create something that makes sense. Please note that there isn't.

Stay away from this at all times unless you want to see a piece of film history because there's no chance something THIS bad is going to get anywhere near production in the future.
April 1, 2010
WTF just happened. I swear, I did everything in the routine of watching a movie so why is it afterwards I was more confused than if I got into a car wreck.

If the menu didn't actually have the word "menu" on it, I would've never figured out to press play but even that doesn't work in and of itself, the cursor starts out with the next page button selected, so if you've lost your DVD remote then odds are you'll have to watch it on the computer or not at all but how can you pass up the chance to watch the worstest, baddest, failest-flickest movie in the world?

The music has an original track by somebody I forget the first name of but I recall they were a Boll, that whole family just has a gift for sensing great movies in the works, don't they? But the music isn't that bad, and clearly the director agreed as I recall counting a total of 8 or 9 montages throughout the movie, depending on how loosely you define a montage and the quality of my memory. Not even different montages, certain settings with certain people would get their own music and when the camera's went back to them later for their 3rd, 4th, who knows how many montages, it'd be the same music AND a lot of the same scenes spliced in from earlier montages.

The irony of this reliance on music is that the audio levels are HORRIBLE. I've never had my TV speakers up to 50% before, with Pocket Ninjas I was struggling to hear at 100.

So the story is this (I think, despite watching 3 times trying to clarify), a gang of thugs called "The Stingers," that "control all sorts of illegal activity" are going around committing atrocious crimes--in packs of 10-20 for some reason--like beating up a cripple that never provoked them and car-jacking a couple in an abandoned lot only to be beaten up by 3 pre-teen "ninjas" with no acting ability while they were on skates.

Later they go on to actually make money by dumping toxic waste into sewers....which somehow makes money....oddly enough, the leader of the Stingers, Cubby Kahn first reprimands the guy who offered to hand him over the business because it "could hurt the environment"--yes he actually says that--before taking it with no explanation of the change of heart.

Netflix lists this movie as a Children's film but I really don't see how you could show a child a movie that implies that it's funny to stab people and that silencers magically turn bullets into darts or that good and evil is determined by a virtual reality video game (I so wish I made up that last part as it's supposed to be the climax) Any kid dumb enough to like this movie would be bored out of their mind in the first few minutes and any kid intelligent enough to appreciate the message they're trying to get across would be bored in the first few minutes....wait...

To conclude, let me try to make this review shorter by making a list of all the dumb scenes in the movie I haven't had time to go over:

-Character pretends to play a GameBoy (the old, gray, indestructible GameBoy) with the empty cartridge slot pointed straight at the camera

-Mother of character previously mentioned has her arms chained to the wall, when she's freed you can clearly see that there was nothing on the ends of the chains to begin with

-The White Dragon (protagonist) and Kobra Kahn (antagonist) stop in the middle of a fight to play a game similar to patty cake that is slowly sped up until they begin to create motion blurs

-A 9 year old kid takes a portable T.V. into his treehouse, with his comic books, so he can watch....the news, of course! Not to mention he is just captivated by the story about an oil spill or something of the like

-While reading a comic book in the treehouse, one of the three characters' shirt changes from having green stripes to blue stripes, this isn't an isolated incident either.

-There's a fight director, that's not a scene, but it sure is sad

-The three (adolescent or child) main characters have unexplained knowledge of the exact location of the Stingers at nearly all times

-The garbage can scene. I only have about 20,000 characters left, not nearly enough to describe how dumb this one scene is but you'll know what I'm talking about when you see it.

-The rest of them
March 27, 2010
This "movie" is utterly and completely incomprehensible and horrible. Surprisingly, they got the Maniac Cop guy to play the "villian", and one of the kids in this still has a career in television. The soundtrack sounds like a Nintendo game with those awful keyboard guitars. Painful, yet no one forced me to watch it!
February 10, 2010
what the hell? was surf ninjas not the only one that was idiotic?
½ November 26, 2009
Holy christ. sorry, but i have to get it off my chest. I just finished watching this movie, and felt i needed to REGISTER on this site just to write a review just to express my hatred for this movie. there are countless errors in this movie, and the production values......ugh all i am saying is i could fund a better quality movie with whats in my wallet right now. harsh? no, not at all. it looks like they filmed this thing on a video phone. and the plot..... first off we find our so called 'heroes' in a dojo with their trainer 'white Dragon' but they dont know he is white dragon, they are being informed of white dragon foiling robbers and such. this sparked my attention because later in the movie they saw white dragon on a japaneese comic, they were wondering who he was, even though they were informed of him in the first FIVE MINUTES of the movie. another thing that annoyed me is their costumes. their ninjas right? wrong. they wear black suits, colored maskes, CLOWN WIGS and roller blades. yeah, VERY stealthy.
now we come to THE worst scene in the entire movie, if not in film history. we find white dragon fighting Cobra Khan in a baloon factory. and by baloon factory i mean a bunch of clowns in a room blowing up baloons. well here we are, the fight between cobra khan and white dragon, well they do anything but fight. the mighty white dragon is just bouncing on baloons and telling eachother that 'nah nah cant get me' and the ever dreadful 'neener neener!' After all the bouncing on baloons, Kobra decides he just wants to play pattycake with white dragon. Yes, pattycake, I kid you not. Finally kobra gets fed up with all the five year old games and tries to shoot white dragon, in defense he picks up a baloon to sheild himself from the bullet. The baloon stops the bullet, meaning kobra must buy his guns at an antique shop because the bullet did not have enough strength to pop a baloon and hit white dragon.

i would rather watch a dog dryhump a cat than watch this a third time. i would rather watch a man rip his own head off and eat it than watch this movie a third time. The reason i watched it a second time was because i left halfway through to go watch paint dry.
the long and short of it is i wanted to stab my eyes out with a rusty knife. yeah, not a very good movie
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