Private School - Movie Reviews - Rotten Tomatoes

Private School Reviews

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½ January 10, 2018
ow, one of the worst movies I've seen in a long time.Especially seen through the eyes of today's lens. This is a movie totally told through a pervey man's point of view, with not a shred of reality to it.
July 18, 2017
Raunchy sex comedy about an all-girls boarding school. Not really funny. Not really well acted. But its difficult to hate Phoebe Cates and Betsy Russell. Boy were they hot back in the day.
½ April 30, 2017
Some memorable scenes but overall not that good. Kind of an awkward plot, pretty poorly put together at times . Phoebe Kate's from Gremlins and Fast Times is in it
½ April 17, 2016
One of the trashiest and sexist films I have ever seen. Literally every Man is a perverted dog (not just the students either) and every woman is needlessly sexualised. Worst film I seen for some time
½ October 13, 2015
Young man, illegal use of the hands!

Christine goes to a private school and stays in a sorority lifestyle living situation with several girl friends. One of the girls that lives with her, Jordan, wants to make life miserable for Christine and starts pursuing her boyfriend, Jim. Can Christine fend her off or will Jordan accomplish her goal?

"The tadpole and its community."

Noel Black, director of Mirrors, Promises to Keep, A Time to Triumph, My Two Loves, Prime Suspect, The World Beyond, The Golden Honeymoon, and I'm a Fool, delivers Private School. The storyline for this picture is just okay in a Van Wilder kind of way. The acting and comedic content is inconsistent and the cast includes Phoebe Cates, Betsy Russell, Matthew Modine, Fran Ryan, Sylvia Kristel, Kathleen Wilhoite, Ray Walston, and Frank Aletter.

"Sex education? That's my favorite subject!"

I recently came across this on HBOGO and had never seen it before so I decided to give it a shot. Well, this is very average and dates itself; however, this was a nice depiction of a young and hot Phoebe Cates (80s heart throb). Overall, this is just average and only worth watching if you're an 80s genre fan.

"Don't be so gentle!"

Grade: C
August 29, 2015
This movie is so offensive. Even in the 80s, I don't get how date rape was considered funny. This is one of the most degrading movies towards women I think I've ever seen.

Now, it may seem strange that I criticize a movie for degrading women when I have given positive reviews for movies like Porky's and Reform School Girls, but this is a completely different kind of movie. Porky's had a bit more plot and juvenile character to it. Private School is all about getting girls naked as often as possible, including a shirtless horseback scene and girls getting naked just for guys peeping on them. The running time is all about girls doing things like aerobics, taking showers, or being groped by men.

There are plenty of movies like this, and that would be fine and dandy if not for the fact that this movie's plot and cover gives the idea that this is some sort of 80s romantic comedy in the vein of Can't Buy Me Love, Say Anything, or Sixteen Candles. It's not. This is sleaze. The plot involves a girl planning to lose her virginity to a guy for the first time, but there is a jealous housemate in the mix trying to steal her boyfriend. That is the plot for a movie meant to play to girls. But it isn't made like that. It's made more like a movie meant for a Roger Corman audience. I don't understand how guys can sit through a movie like this with such an eye rolling plot, and girls are certainly going to be put off by how offensive it is.

This movie had so many good things going for it: A great 80s cast, a classic 80s soundtrack, and a basic coming-of-age plot. Why it had to get so sleazy is beyond me.
½ April 13, 2015
Private School seems like essentially a half-assed teen sex comedy from the heyday of the genre in the 1980's and, quintessentially is little on laughs. I know there's comedy in Private School and it may appeal to the vain and image obsessed teenage girls portrayed in the movie, but I didn't get a word if what they found interesting to be a decent piece of dialogue and so the script is clearly just lackluster beyond belief with cheap teenage dialogue which is stupid beyond what the characters would normally be saying, unless of course they were using phrases such as YOLO or Swag. If a sex comedy fails at the comedy part, it has to make up for it in the sex part. And it actually does.
But it doesn't prevent it from being a below-average film. Essentially, the plot is so thin with dynamics that are so tedious and repetitive that by the end of it, viewers no longer believe they've just seen a film and have a large sense of emptiness within them.
One severe problem is that Private School fails to make use of several of its cast members.
For starters, the lead actress Phoebe Cates whose known for her iconic bikini drop from the classic coming-of-age dramedy film Fast Times at Ridgemont High isn't used well in any way in Private School. Her character is a frail and emotionless girl with zero charisma and no sex appeal, save from the brief period in which her butt is in perspective. The entire film chronicles the sexual element of girls from a private school, but puts Phoebe Cates in the lead into a character who isn't asked to be sexy or comedic, and following on with her just isn't entertaining. But it isn't her fault, because the makers of Private School also give no sexualisation to the role played by Sylvie Kristel, the actress from the French erotic film Emmanuelle and from the 1981 dreadful sex comedy Private Lessons. Despite giving extremely sensual performances in both those films, in Private School, a sex comedy with plenty of nudity, she merely portrays a school teacher whose attractiveness is downplayed by the comparison to all the young and attractive females in her class, and her character isn't a strong one either so she's set up to fail on both levels.

But the plot is good because it lives out the fantasies of many testosterone-fuelled teenage boys hoping that girls think the same as boys in approach to sex, and Private School exposes the underside of the girls and their approach to sex in a humourous and unserious manner so that it no longer becomes a film about perverted boys and innocent girls, and therefore it finds a silver lining and characterises the women not as "sluts" or "whores", but sexually excited women. In terms of stereotypes that's a mere fantasy, but in actual fact it is a realistic depiction and so Private School unintentionally becomes a statement about sexual aggression in both males and females, so it does have relevance to the directors way of thinking and a decent meaning to it with the elimination of sexism.
And plus, there is a great amount of nudity in the story and its used in various fashions. The two most notable examples would be when Jordan Leigh-Jensen is riding topless on a horse while her breasts bounce in slow motion, or when Bubba successfully sneaks into the girls locker room, the land so many boys wish to be in, and witnesses several naked girls as they take a shower and run soapy water up and down their bodies. The nudity in Private School is sexy and tasteful, and so the sex part of this sex comedy is successful.
A large benefactor in that is the performance given by Betsy Russell, because she captures the role of a sexy bitch very finely and makes use of her body, particularly her breasts to tease the audience in a strong manner. She's incredibly sexy, seductive and even manipulative in Private School, and she does supply much charisma to the role so she lights up the screen when she rules it. She makes up for the shortcomings of the writers.
And lastly to ensure the atmosphere is a fun and unserious one, Private School has a decent soundtrack with music constantly playing out during the sexualised sequences so that they aren't empty but are taking a casual approach to the imagery, and it keeps the scenes from having a merely blank atmosphere.

So in the end, Private School isn't a great film, but it's easy to watch and has plenty of nudity so it isn't a boring one in the right frame of mind.
½ April 11, 2015
For the genre it' not bad,as a movie it's not good.
March 5, 2015
3/5/2015: a pretty cheesy 80's flick with some humor. Lots of nudity made it easier to watch.
½ October 10, 2014
Most of the teen sex comedies from the early '80's were told from the guy's point of view, but "Private School" was the rare one told from the girl's perspective. It doesn't really make it any better than the slew of similar films that choked the theaters and drive-ins during the time, but it is a lot less ugly and misogynistic.

There really are no laughs in the movie because, although the situations are universal to most people, they are exaggerated here to heighten the embarrassment factor over genuine humor. The film stars the beautiful Phoebe Cates, and her sheer presence in this helps soften my feelings towards it. She is effervescent in this, and her relationship with Matthew Modine seems to come from a different movie mainly because it's written at a different level than the sophomoric humor and sex gags. She seems to be trying harder than this material to be good.

Just as memorable, but for a lot of different reasons, is co-star Betsy Russell who has the two single best scenes in the film. Her attempted seduction of Modine and the topless horseback ride will never be forgotten although the movie quickly will. Because of those two performances and a great soundtrack full of bouncy '80's pop songs (some recognizable and some by recognizable artists), "Private School" will always be slightly better than most other films of its type. Granted I didn't laugh but I also didn't want to storm away in anger (my usual reaction), so it does deserve kudos for that if nothing else. This is a lot easier to take than most.
September 27, 2013
It's tacky , it's funny , it's full of those 80's boobies , high school looked fun in the 80's
Super Reviewer
½ September 6, 2013
Filled with sniggering juvenile humor, yet overcomes regular urges for ejection with a steady supply of tremendous titties. Of all the '80s teen sex comedies that flooded the rental shelves, Private School has the best-looking cast. Leading the way is Betsy Russell and her knockout knockers - the bareback riding scene ought to be at least as famous as Phoebe Cates' swimsuit flash in Fast Times At Ridgemont High. Oh, did I just mention Phoebe Cates? Cos she's in here too! Only brief nudity on the beach, but she's just so darn irresistibly cute.throughout. Then there's sex goddess Emmanuelle herself Sylvia Kristel on the faculty, and you'll never hear Bow Wow Wow's "I Want Candy" without pitching a pants tent once permanently associated with this shower/locker room scene.

Not only are they the best looking, but they are probably the best acting bunch found in an '80s TSC. Matthew Modine is the man caught in the middle of Betsy & Phoebe's affections, Ray Walston and Fran Ryan do their schoolmasterly duties, and Michael Zorek is the most affable portrayer of the required 'loudmouth horny fat guy' role.

Other indelible moments are Betsy's high temperature striptease and the ending group moonshot. There's plenty to bash about Private School and watching is sometimes a chore, but not many movies feature at least four scenes that you can instantly recall years later.
½ May 6, 2013
80s staple staring Phoebe Cates, Betsy Russell, Matthew Modine, Kathleen Wilhoite, Ray Walston, Jonathan Prince and the ubiquitous Sylvia Kristel. Unfortunately, this 1980s "American Pie" equivalent, is pretty bad, lacking any real characters, much of a story or even any real humor. It's essentially a good cast being wasted by a bottom-of-the-barrel teen sex comedy. However, the film does have lots of 80s clothes, hair, music and stars, which makes it enough of a nostalgia piece to make it worth watching. And in my opinion, anything with Phoebe Cates is worth watching.
April 9, 2013
I give this two stars. One star for each bare breast seen riding horseback in this film. It's quite amazing, even by today's standards, just how crazily sexist this film is. I mean, it's a T & A film so lets not get carried away with ourselves here...Phoebe Cates (she was my childhood crush) aside, it's a laugh free zone. Boobs however, well there's tonnes of them.
½ February 16, 2013
Not even the Phoebe Cates of the early 80's could save this from disaster! This is a lot like the other coming-of-age sex comedies of the 80's, only this one forgot to have a point or throw in a reason for the audience to care! Skip it!
February 6, 2013
80s T & A film that had me laughing a lot... merely for the fact that I couldn't believe they had a girl riding a horse topless, where's that sort of creative genius nowadays? Not enough of the romance and friendships to make this equally attractive to girls as is would have been for guys back in '83.
January 16, 2013
Absolutely dorky fucking guys and gorgeous women, I dunno whose wish fulfillment fantasy this movie is based on, but I thank him for nude Betsy Russell, because Gawddamn.

It's a light teen sex romp, and well worth a look to kill an afternoon.

January 9, 2013
Jolly good 80's T and A flick. It's got Phoebe Cates and that fat dude that was in all kinds of stuff in the 80's.. Who doesn't want to dress up like a woman and go to a ladies dorm to watch the girls undress? That one girl on the horse was hot too. There were a lot of movies like this that weren't any good but Private School is almost a perfect product of its time that is funny now because its funny and for its cheese.
December 12, 2012
Hot girls. Nothing else.
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