The Producers - Movie Quotes - Rotten Tomatoes

The Producers Quotes

  • Mr. Marks: Bloom, where do you think you're going? You've already had your toilet break.
    Leopold Bloom: I'm not going into the toilet. I'm going into show business! And Mr. Marks, I have news for you: I quit! And you're right about one thing. You are a CPA: a Certified Public ASSHOLE! Here's my visor, my Dixon Ticonderoga number 2 pencil, and my big finish!


  • Leopold Bloom: Thank you very much for smiling. That helped a great deal.
    Max Bialystock: Well, you know what they say. Smile and the whole world smiles with you. Ha ha ha (Whispers to Shakespeare bust) This man belongs in a strait jacket!
    Max Bialystock: Well, you know what they say. Smile and the whole world smiles with you. Ha ha ha [whispers to Shakespeare bust] This man belongs in a strait jacket!


  • Max Bialystock: What happened?
    Ulla: Tidy up! Make look nice?


  • Hold Me-Touch Me: ... How about the virgin milkmaid, and the well hung stableboy?
    Hold Me-Touch Me: ...How about the virgin milkmaid, and the well hung stableboy?
    Max Bialystock: Oh... ohohoho. Today?
    Hold Me-Touch Me: Don"t worry, I'll be gentle! Oh, this milk is so heavy! I don't think I'll ever make it to the house. You there, well hung stableboy! Would you care to help me with my milk?
    Max Bialystock: But of course, little lady. First I'll take your milk... and then, I'll take, your virginity!!!
    Max Bialystock: But of course, little lady. First I'll take your milk... and then, I'll take, your virginity!


  • Carmen Ghia: Listen here you old queen! He was drunk... you got lucky! Never call here again!!
    Carmen Ghia: Listen here you old queen! He was drunk... you got lucky! Never call here again!
    Roger De Bris: Who was it?
    Carmen Ghia: Wrong number!


  • Max Bialystock: There's a lot more to you than there is to you!!
    Max Bialystock: There's a lot more to you than there is to you!


  • Franz Liebkind: .... And swear my eternal alleigence to Adolf Elizabeth Hitler.
    Max Bialystock: (with Bloom) And swear my eternal aleigence to ... Elizabeth?
    Franz Liebkind: Ja! Not many people know this, but the fuhrer was descended from a long line of English queens.


  • Carmen Ghia: (With Roger Du Bris) Thank You!
    Carmen Ghia: (With Roger Du Bris) Thank you!


  • Carmen Ghia: Ocifers!


  • Roger De Bris: What are you doing you Neo Nazi Nitwit, your Shows a hit
    Roger De Bris: What are you doing you Neo Nazi Nitwit. Your show's a hit.
    Franz Liebkind: Who Cares? You Made a fool out of Hitler
    Franz Liebkind: Who Cares? You made a fool out of Hitler.
    Roger De Bris: (With Carmen Ghia) He didn't need our help!


  • Ulla: Why Bloom go so far camera right?


  • Ulla: God Bless America
    Ulla: God bless America.
    Max Bialystock: God Bless Sweden
    Max Bialystock: God bless Sweden.


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