Red Dirt Rising.....I hope they're talking about the dirt from the grave I wanted to climb into after watching this movie! We sat down to watch this "highly anticipated" film about the grassroots start of NASCAR and after 40 minutes of watching the impressively flat and monotonous Brad Yoder walking from scene to scene with the accompaniment of a cacophonous, ever present banjo we began playing "Fast Forward Bingo". You know, where you hit the fast forward button and hope you land on an interesting section of movie. Needless to say....we never hit a Bingo. Who wrote this story?! Who was the fact checker/historian here? Even the costuming was shameful! First, could you not actually attach that heinous wig to the scalp of "Mom"? Second, no pregnant woman in that time wore tight dresses. Your due date was called a "Date of Confinement" for the reason that you were never to flaunt your pregnancy, you trollop!! Third, it's not called racing when you are in a single line, going 20 mph, with no attempt to pass one another. Yeah, I played that game in pre-school...it's called follow the leader and it was just as boring when I was 4. And who knew a few sparks in the steering wheel would cause an entire car to blow to pieces?! The only cool thing was watching the one chick get smacked by her husband! At least she convincingly hit the ground with skill! Come to think of it...it wasn't the slap that sent her to the floor; she probably fell asleep while Brad Yoder and Ashlee Payne were acting in front of her. I can only hope that the medic on set hauled her away from that horrible movie in time to salvage her career!
In short, please see this film so you can help me make fun of it, but don't expect to get that 1.5 hrs of life back.