Retro Puppet Master (Puppet Master 7) - Movie Reviews - Rotten Tomatoes

Retro Puppet Master (Puppet Master 7) Reviews

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½ March 7, 2017
This is the first chronologically speaking so I will watch in order. I've always ignored this franchise but I have finally decided to watch them. This is a VERY slow film with zero horror elements in my opinion, the dialogue and acting is questionable at best but it's not a completely terrible film. I actually find the origin rather interesting but it's quite an effort to get through.
½ August 28, 2016
Prequel seventh film in the puppet master series takes place prior to the WWII set "Puppet Master III," telling the story of how the original puppet master, a young Andre Toulon, learns how to bring his puppets to life. Pretty cheap, even by Full Moon Pictures standards. I didn't really care for the early incarnations of the puppet team. I did like the evil trio in bowler hats, even if it was a direct rip off of "Dark City." But overall, this is probably the weakest of the series, even though it boats a story from producer Charles Band and was directed by series regular, David DeCoteau (as Joseph Tennent). You don't even get a score by Richard Band this time.
½ July 5, 2015
A few good ideas but still awful
November 12, 2014
A cheap sequel doesn't have much of an entertainment value. 24/100
September 13, 2014
We've officially reached the low point of the series. An origins story of Toulon, this shows how exactly he became the titular puppet master. We've now reached what is ultimately the reason why I've started down this rabbit hole of a series, the man who gained notoriety from starring as Mark in The Room, ladies and gentlemen, Greg Sestero! He came into town recently to promote his wildly entertaining book, The Disaster Artist (trust me, it's well worth your time), and a group of close friends and I had the opportunity to shoot the shit with him over drinks. He tries so hard, working with next to nothing in this movie, and while I personally appreciate that, this is just a really boring movie overall, because there isn't much that really happens. With the previous six movies, sure, they're all pretty unspectacular, but at least they all have two or three things you walk away remembering. This, not so much. Why even bother with a prequel if you don't have any good ideas on how to flesh out the main character's background? The biggest thing you retain from Retro Puppet Master is the awful French accents that everybody keeps slipping in and out of. It's where you get most of the laughs from, as well as most of the groans from as well. This story goes nowhere slow, and the thing about the series is that it takes its sweet time to get anywhere, and any time there aren't any puppets to be found onscreen, you couldn't care less. There are new puppets featured here mixed with vintage versions of the puppets you already know, only they look cheaper and have less personality. The ending isn't quite as abrupt as 6, but it's hugely disappointing, almost like their budget just ran out. It wraps everything up with a line similar to, "well, this doesn't really answer most of the questions you had, but that's a story for another day," and I'm not even joking. The only thing people want to see out of these movies is puppets killing people. I really couldn't tell you why they keep putting as little of that as possible into these later sequels, and Retro Puppet Master commits the biggest crime of all in that it is dull at every turn.
½ July 22, 2014
Despite some great ideas and a really decent story, Retro Puppet Master is so badly acted it is hard to get into this movie.

Sure its great to see the origins of the puppets themselves, and how Toulon gained his sorcery to bring life to the puppets, but the 'men in black' are just bad.

And the acting...just so bad
Super Reviewer
½ March 19, 2014
Direct to video, sloppily made horror shlock starring The Room's Greg Sestero boasting a ridiculously funny French accent and a weirdly flamboyant robe.
March 1, 2014

The first PG-13 PM, which sucks. The lead dude was easily punchable. The Egypt scenes were horrible as well as the CGI. They ripped off John Carpenter's score from THE THING and the villains are cheap imitations of The Strangers from DARK CITY. Also to mention, it felt like a TV movie. The only thing I liked was the crude make of the puppets.
½ March 23, 2013
Retro Puppet Master (or Puppet Master 7 for those keeping track of these things) serves as a prequel to the overall series. Now when most people hear the world 'prequel' they think of Star Wars, and there's a lot that that series and this one have in common. For instance, each film in that series got progressively worse, and such is the case with this series. This film also doesn't follow the information about Toulon's past that we already know at all, attempting to retcon the films that came before it. These films also usually have low budgets, but my goodness, they really just gave up on this one. The effects, costumes, locations... even the overdubs, are awful, and so are all of the actors. They don't even use the Puppet Master theme for this one, which could be a good thing or a bad thing, depending on how you look at it. The new puppets look interesting, but they lack the style and creativity of the ones we all know. Overall, I'd consider it the most forgettable entry in the series that I've seen so far. One can only hope that they just get back to basics with this series and stop trying to come up with complicated stories and just focus on the horror once again.
½ January 19, 2013
This chapter was beyond awful. Horrible effects and acting. Its not even rated R so not even any gore to spice it up. The puppets look really bad and since he didnt build Blade until the events of part 3, this being a prequel to that film screws up the timeline. Avoid!
December 11, 2012
Well it's a bit better than Curse of the Puppet Master - but it still isn't particularly good. I did like seeng Guy Rolfe back, but apart from that this was a pretty tedious movie.
½ October 27, 2012
Its storytime as Puppet Master Andre Toulon recounts to his puppets how the sorcerer Afzel passed on Sutek's secret of giving inanimate objects life to him. The puppets are very interested. Second prequel does its best on a reduced budget.
½ October 24, 2012
Questionable, much like the rest of the films.
Super Reviewer
July 11, 2012
Well here we go again as this franchise jumps around its own timeline, this film is a prequel to the third film (if you can remember that far back) and showcases a young 'Toulon' in Paris and how he acquires the secret of life.
Believe it or not but this film actually starts off as a sequel to the third film! yes that's right, this film carries on from where the third film left off...kind of.

There are more continuity issues here (again) as according to the original film 'Toulon' actually blows his brains out in 1939, yet this is set in 1944? I mentioned this in the review for the third film as this error seems to have been ignored, so what the hell eh, lets carry on past this fudge up and pretend it never happened.

This film again does seem to have slightly better production values than previous films. Supposedly set in Paris (obviously not) and they have done well to create an early 1902 feel merely with shadows and a lot of subtle hints, good use of props, mist and lighting I must say. The Cairo set attempts are less effective with the crude use of some archive footage hehe.
Again I must also give kudos to the costumes, I'm unsure how accurate they might be but to the average Joe they do the job and sell the effect.

Of course the plot is ludicrous with ancient mummies resurrected and marching about the place trying to be cool as if they just walked off 'The Matrix' set. Nice idea but the director has foolishly made them into something out of character for this type of flick. We do discover that the demon 'Sutkh' from 'Puppet Master IV/V' is or was an Egyptian God it seems so that's interesting I guess. Some fun acting from old 'Star Trek' actor Jack Donner and again Guy Rolfe briefly.

As usual its the nice work on the puppets that help the film along. The 'retro' designs are just as cool as the regular puppet designs but stop motion is a bit shaky in this one. No blood or gore what so ever, not much real tension or excitement but its an easy going adventure...can't really call this a horror franchise anymore.
May 29, 2012
It's an interesting take but has a bit of a hard time fitting with the rest of the series. There are several plot holes, and the story is slow. The puppets don't do a whole lot in it. The special effects aren't very good either, but it is a nice fresh take on the franchise.
Super Reviewer
½ May 20, 2012
Pointless seventh entry that definitely never should have seen the light of day, I'm curious to know why they keep making bad films. Retro Puppet Master is an awful film with yet another poorly constructed story. This time around there are supernatural elements thrown into the Sci Fi horror formula, unfortunately it doesn't pay off, far from it. I personally think k it's a shame that it was made this, as I quite enjoyed the original Puppet Master. That film was a cheesy, so bad it's good Sci fi flick with killer puppets. There could have been so many great ideas for sequels, and with this one it seemed like they were finally taking a step in the right direction. Unfortunately fifteen minutes in, you realize that this was just going to your typical Puppet Master mess of a film. The ideas may have been good, but the problem was a bad script, bad directing and overall lazy filming. This is a film with wasted potential and what could have been comes crashing down. The film is like every other sequel unfortunately, poorly constructed, directed and acted. Watch something else instead. Retro Puppet Master just doesn't deliver anything worth watching. I personally think that this is a film not worth anyone's times and there are better sequels and horror flicks in the genre than this one. Don't expect anything good here, as this is after all, the seventh entry in a series that should been long concluded.
May 1, 2012
I have always liked Puppet Master movies, just sometime they have that Ed Wood touch to them
March 5, 2012
Ugly puppets an awful story and a terrible actor playing "young" Toulon... A disaster is all! So far this has been the worst of the Puppet Master series, continuing to boggle us with an obscure timeline of events! So the whole World War II escapade was not actually the beginning of our adventure but this instead... I'm a little tired of these movies in all honesty, but this for me has to be the lowest point!
½ February 6, 2012
In this puppet master, we have another prequel telling toulon's backstory before the other puppets. This time we get to see retro versions of Blade, pinhead, Six shooter, and tunneler, but also two new ones, cyclops and dr death.
½ November 23, 2011
one of the worst puppet masters. what the fuck were they thinking when they made this garbage. it should be left in the dump
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