Rites of Frankenstein (Expériences érotiques de Frankenstein, Les) Reviews
The evil Dr. Cagliostro has kidnapped the Frankenstein monster after his henchmen have done away with Dr. Frankenstein. When Vera Frankenstein comes to town, she's out for revenge. She digs up her father and hooks him up to the same machine that was used to animate the monster and with the flick of a switch brings him back to life to tell her what happened. Then she keeps him around and every time she has a question, she just flips a switch and dear old dad's not quite so dead. Dr. Cagliostro has big plans; he's kidnapped the monster so that the monster can mate with a bride of Frankenstein he's whipping up by killing local women (it only happens once in the film, but somehow he gets a whole monster-mate out of this...). Meanwhile, his half-daughter -- who is also half raptor and has green feather dusters for hands and an annoying screech to prove it -- is going around eating people. Why is all this happening? Because Dr. Cagliostro knows that if the monsters have a child, it will bring the Panthos to earth. Who are the Panthos? Well... dunno. However, it's very important that Dr. Cagliostro bring them to earth after he's inseminated a bald eagle to produce his part-muppet daughter and kidnapped the silvery Frankenstein. Personally, I believe that the Panthos may be a sort of potato chip with the great taste of pants. It's as good a theory as any advanced by this very silly flick.
So, should *you* watch this movie? Should you sit through scenes that are so poorly lit that if there were no sound you'd think that you'd forgotten to turn on your television? Through a three-minute close-up of someone's nose filling the screen? Well, it depends. Do you giggle over outrageously awful dialogue? Is it fun for you to spot the misses in make-up (oops... forgot to put silver on the back of Frankie's neck in that shot...)? Have you had a few and are looking for something to help you get your MST3K on? If the answer to all of these are yes, then see The Rites of Frankenstein. If the answer is no, then just pull your Panthos up and go find something else.