John Wick: Chapter 3 - Parabellum
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I've watched this film at least 10 times. Only to show others how a movie can be awful and amazingly hilarious at the same time. "So bad it's good", is the saying. You should have a good time poking fun at this one. I know the budget was probably next to nothing. However, the choices the director and writer make are so bad, it keeps you guessing what's next. You keep asking yourself how can it get worse, till you get to the end and your question is answered. I laughed hysterically for about 10 min at the end of this film. Good times. I'm giving this film 3 1/2 stars because of the amount of enjoyment I received from it's ridiculous premise, laughable acting, puppet work, "choreographed" fight scenes, and nonsensical story scenes. It's classic
At least the title of this movie is appropriate, because it really is a rock 'n' roll nightmare. While it certainly doesn't disappoint when it comes to heavy metal, there are times when it just feels overdone. The film itself tricks you into thinking it might be fun, but the story is rather muddled and confused. The characters are incredibly shallow and one-dimensional, and the acting is simply terrible, which I should probably expect from a cheaply made direct-to-video horror movie. The special effects aren't too bad, but the demons in this movie definitely look like they were made of latex flesh. Coupled with how ugly the demons look, this makes it impossible to take them seriously, which is a big problem since the film utilizes them a lot. The best way to tell that this movie had terrible writing is the abundance of sex and nudity. If sex appeal is the last refuge of a hack film-maker, than this movie must have been truly horrible, but that's not even the worst part. The film ends with a shockingly stupid plot twist, followed by what I'm sure is the worst final showdown in movie history, complete with terrible choreography that's even worse than The Spirit. Overall, while it's not the worst movie I've ever seen, it can't amount to anything more than a rock 'n' roll joke.
I think the best thing to describe this movie is a disappointment. I thought it was going to be really cool, and it could have been really good, but while it does start off pretty fun, everything about the movie eventually just got worse to the point of being really bad. The movie is only any fun or interesting for about the first half of the movie, maybe less than that, but the characters just seem duller and stupider, and believe it or not the thrill factor only decreased as the demonic encounters go from being surprisingly interesting to very weak and impotent and ineffective because as the film goes on the movie cuts away from the demons doing their thing or outright skipping it entirely, completely destroying what impact they could have had. Not to mention, this film overuses scenes of nudity, passion, and intimacy, and you'll soon find a moment where scenes of that nature happen three times in a row, which serves no purpose other than to make it feel very repetitive, and fast. This movie is also home to the dumbest near-ending twist (itself home to mythological ignorance and bad acting and pronounciation), and what might easily be the worst final showdown I've ever seen in a movie, because it's not only cheesy, terrible, and laden with shitty monsters, but just as disappointing as the whole movie. You would think that Triton would fight demons by playing an electric guitar, which the film's cover art would imply, but no, it's just a wrestling match that's cheesy to the point of crap. This movie should have been cool, but instead it's worthless, as worthless as a low-budget direct-to-video movie gets. The only god thing about this movie is the music, and not just the heavy metal music either (which at the very least is OK), and at least the movie delivers what it promises on some level, but it's still a disappointing mess of a bad movie.
Horror movie by way of soft core porn. Pretty good ending. Hero has an awesome Magical Girl Transformation sequence and fights the final battle in spiked thong and cape.