Safety Not Guaranteed - Movie Quotes - Rotten Tomatoes

Safety Not Guaranteed Quotes

  • Darius: There's no sense in nonsense, especially when the heat's hot.


  • Kenneth: You ever face certain death?
    Darius: If it was so certain, I wouldnt be here, would I?


  • Darius: Do you sell guns here?
    Kenneth: What kind of guns?
    Darius: I don't know. Something sexy, and affordable, with killing power.
    Kenneth: You should try C&R Guns in Welkins. The state of Washington does not allow the sale of firearms on the business premises of a grocer.
    Darius: Hmm. What about those thingies, with the spikey ball at the end of the chain...thingies, you know, do you have those?
    Kenneth: What exactly is the intended use? Is there a pest problem or hunting?
    Darius: Well if your ad had been written properly I might have a better idea of what I need.


  • Darius: I don't know. Something sexy, and affordable, with killing power.


  • Arnau: Stormtroopers don't know anything about lasers of time travel. They're blue collar workers.


  • Jeff: Alright, give me the lesbian and the Indian and I've got a story.


  • Jeff: How about uh, this time travel ad? Guy writes a classified that reads: 'Wanted: Someone to go back in time with me. This is not a joke. You'll get paid after we get back. Must bring your own weapons. Safety not guaranteed. I have only done this once before.' I want to find this guy, see if maybe he believes in this stuff, I don't know I think it could be funny.


  • Darius: Well, there's no sense in nonsense. Especially when the heat's hot.


  • Jeff: I'm going by choice.


  • Darius: I have no funk. I'm totally funkless.


  • Jeff: I fucked Belinda!


  • Kenneth: It's that time and that place and that song, and you remember what it was like when you were in that place. And then you listen to that song, and you know you're not in that place anymore, and it makes you feel hollow. You can't just go find that stuff again.


  • Kenneth: To go it alone or to go with a partner? When you choose a partner, you have to have compromises and sacrifices, but it's a price you pay. Do I want to follow my every whim and desire as I make my way through time and space? Absolutely. But at the end of the day, do I need someone when I'm doubting myself and I'm insecure and MY heart fails me? Do I need someone, who when the heat gets hot, has my back?
    Darius: Sooo... Do you?
    Kenneth: I do.


  • Kenneth: "It's that time and that place and that song, and you remember what it was like when you were in that place. And then you listen to that song, and you know you're not in that place anymore, and it makes you feel hollow. You can't just go find that stuff again."
    Kenneth: It's that time and that place and that song, and you remember what it was like when you were in that place. And then you listen to that song, and you know you're not in that place anymore, and it makes you feel hollow. You can't just go find that stuff again.


  • Jeff: AII right. Give me the Iesbian and the Indian, and I got a story.


  • Arnau: What's wrong with this guy?.
    Arnau: What's wrong with this guy?
    Darius: What makes you think there's something wrong with him?.
    Darius: What makes you think there's something wrong with him?
    Jeff: Because he thinks he can go back in time.


  • Jeff: Why are you sitting here? Why would you be sitting on your computer? You're a young man. You've got the whole world ahead of you. I'm asking you to be a man and try. Are you ready to have a crazy night with me because I'm ready. Say you're ready. Say you're ready!.
    Arnau: I'm ready.
    Jeff: My man, good answer. Let's do something stupid!.


  • Jeff: The years were really bad to her. They shit on her face!
    Jeff: It's like the years have not been kind to her. They sorta took a shit all over her face!


  • Kenneth: So far so good.


  • Arnau: Stormtroopers are just blue-collar workers
    Arnau: Stormtroopers are just blue-collar workers.


  • Darius: There's no sense in nonsense when the heat is hot.


  • Arnau: What kind of lasers?
    Darius: I don't know. I'm not a friggin' storm trooper.


  • Kenneth: My calibrations are flipping pinpoint.


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