Salmon Fishing in the Yemen - Movie Quotes - Rotten Tomatoes

Salmon Fishing in the Yemen Quotes

  • Dr. Alfred Jones: Up his arse with a meter ruler!


  • Dr. Alfred Jones: I'm more of a facts and figures man.


  • Dr. Alfred Jones: For future reference, I have a 32 inch waist line, Ms. Chetwode-Talbot. Not a 34. No pies for me.


  • Sheikh Muhammed: Faith, Dr. Alfred?
    Dr. Alfred Jones: Damn it. Yes, alright then, faith!


  • Dr. Alfred Jones: Oh no, the Ministry of Defence don't like uncertainty, so if someone was dead, they'd just say dead.
    Harriet Chetwode-Talbot: Can you stop using that word?
    Dr. Alfred Jones: Sorry.


  • Dr. Alfred Jones: I don't know anyone who goes to church anymore
    Dr. Alfred Jones: I don't know anyone who goes to church anymore.
    Harriet Chetwode-Talbot: Hmm, I don't think I do either
    Harriet Chetwode-Talbot: Hmm, I don't think I do either.
    Dr. Alfred Jones: On Sunday, we go to Target.


  • Sheikh Muhammed: You're not a religious man?
    Dr. Alfred Jones: No. No, I'm not.
    Sheikh Muhammed: But you're a fisherman, Dr. Jones.
    Dr. Alfred Jones: I'm sorry, I don't follow.
    Sheikh Muhammed: How many hours do you fish before you catch something? Dozens?
    Dr. Alfred Jones: Gosh, hundreds sometimes.
    Sheikh Muhammed: Is that a good use of your time for a facts-and-figures man? But you persist in the wind and the rain and the cold with such poor odds of success. Why? Because you're a man of faith, Dr. Alfred.


  • Sheikh Muhammed: you must have faith Dr. Alfred.
    Sheikh Muhammed: You must have faith, Dr. Alfred.


  • Dr. Alfred Jones: "It's theoretically possible in the same way as a manned mission to Mars is theoretically possible."
    Dr. Alfred Jones: It's theoretically possible in the same way as a manned mission to Mars is theoretically possible.


  • Dr. Alfred Jones: "It's theoretically possible in the same way as a manned mission to Mars is theoretically possible."
    Dr. Alfred Jones: It's theoretically possible in the same way as a manned mission to Mars is theoretically possible.


  • Dr. Alfred Jones: I love her.
    Capt. Robert Mayers: Does she love you?
    Dr. Alfred Jones: I don't know now. Yesterday, you weren't alive.
    Capt. Robert Mayers: Well, I apologize for not being dead in a ditch.
    Dr. Alfred Jones: I don't think I can accept your apology.
    Capt. Robert Mayers: Is that a joke?
    Dr. Alfred Jones: Yes, yes, sort of. I'm not... I've never been very good at jokes.


  • Sheikh Muhammed: You think I'm mad?
    Dr. Alfred Jones: No, Your Excellency, I-
    Sheikh Muhammed: Of course you do. I would question your judgement if you did not.


  • Mary Jones: That should do you for awhile
    Mary Jones: That should do you for awhile.


  • Capt. Robert Mayers: Well, I apologize for not being dead in a ditch.
    Dr. Alfred Jones: Apology not accepted.


  • Patricia Maxwell: Get on with it.


  • Dr. Alfred Jones: I was wondering if I was genetically programed to dull pedestrian life.


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