Santa Claus Conquers the Martians Reviews
(1964) Santa Claus Defeats the Aliens
Saw this as "Santa Claus Defeats The Aliens" which really should've been called "Ed Wood Presents Santa Claus Defeats..." since it's being defined as a very low budget feature film which is exactly how Ed Wood usually make his films. The set up has Martians from mars with green paint on their faces questioning why their own children look so unhappy, so they devise a plan to kidnap Santa Claus from the planet earth. And by the time they get to earth, they bump into a couple of kids and informed them that the real Santa lives in the North Pole which is exactly where they went taking along with them are the 2 children, since they had just found out their real intentions and don't like the idea of the real Santa being kidnapped. The two kids unsuccessfully did make attempts to warn him, but was later captured by a fake looking robot which is obviously a guy wearing a fake looking robot suit sent by the Martians themselves- also their is also a guy wearing a fake looking polar bear suit who walks with his hands and knees. To say anymore would be pointless, but the thing is that I have no idea how I was able to watch this all the way through without cringing as opposed to some big budgeted movies. And I guess it's because I've used to see my fair share of movies similar to this one during my younger years which it wouldn't take much to entertain me, meaning that low budget production costs is sometimes not a requirement to watch some of these movies intended for kids going into pre-school. Let's see, their was "Electric Company", Mister Rogers" to "Sesame Street" which it wouldn't take much to get children entertained when people are wearing fake looking costumes and bad makeup. I don't hate this since it's demographic is clearly obvious, but at the same time I don't like it either.
2 out of 4 stars
Typically bad 1960s sci-fi drive-in trash but twisted into a saccharine formula geared for kids. Or stoned dogs. Actual canines. Stoned. I would only wish this on my worst enemy or to those who like to watch real real bad low budget crap or those who've seen every other Christmas movie out there (every. single. one.).
The story is that the children of Mars have become depressed and have not experienced any fun whatsoever. So the Martians come to Earth and kidnap Santa Claus to bring joy and laughter back to the planet. That's pretty much it.
"Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" is just as silly and stupid as it may seem. The story is executed poorly. Santa Claus does not conquer the Martians, he only brings joy and happiness to the planet. The dialogue is terrible as it sounds like the actors are forcing it out of their mouths. Oh the acting; it's as bland and awful as it can get. There is no effort or amount of seriousness into the movie from the actors. There's even a moment at the beginning of the film where you can clearly tell that there is someone inside a polar bear and a robot suit.
Speaking of the special effects, everything looks fake. Take the aforementioned robot and polar bear; they are so cheap, it looks like you can see the actor inside the suit. Yes, this movie was made on a low budget, but come on, at least put some effort into the production. In fact, most of the costumes look like they were bought at a custume store. The use of stock footage is cliched and the actual effects look like they were made out of cardboard. "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" is a notoriously bad movie.
Yet it's friggin' hilarious! This is one of those movies you just need to see to believe, and laugh at the absurdity of it all.
In conclusion, "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" is bad, but you will still get a laugh for what it's worth.
That's kinda' what it's like to watch this movie.