Santa Claus Conquers the Martians - Movie Reviews - Rotten Tomatoes

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians Reviews

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½ December 21, 2013
Although it doesn't have as many ludicrous moments as some other great b-movies, Santa Claus Conquers the Martians is silly, cheesy, and dumb enough to entertain any fan of bad movies. With bad acting, bad effects, and just a terribly stupid plot, this b-movie is definitely one you can't pass up.
½ December 20, 2013
My god. The horror! The horror!
½ December 19, 2013
It seemed like a good idea. Glad I finished it.
December 18, 2013
Tuesday, December 17, 2013

(1964) Santa Claus Defeats the Aliens
FAMILY SCIENCE-FICTION

Saw this as "Santa Claus Defeats The Aliens" which really should've been called "Ed Wood Presents Santa Claus Defeats..." since it's being defined as a very low budget feature film which is exactly how Ed Wood usually make his films. The set up has Martians from mars with green paint on their faces questioning why their own children look so unhappy, so they devise a plan to kidnap Santa Claus from the planet earth. And by the time they get to earth, they bump into a couple of kids and informed them that the real Santa lives in the North Pole which is exactly where they went taking along with them are the 2 children, since they had just found out their real intentions and don't like the idea of the real Santa being kidnapped. The two kids unsuccessfully did make attempts to warn him, but was later captured by a fake looking robot which is obviously a guy wearing a fake looking robot suit sent by the Martians themselves- also their is also a guy wearing a fake looking polar bear suit who walks with his hands and knees. To say anymore would be pointless, but the thing is that I have no idea how I was able to watch this all the way through without cringing as opposed to some big budgeted movies. And I guess it's because I've used to see my fair share of movies similar to this one during my younger years which it wouldn't take much to entertain me, meaning that low budget production costs is sometimes not a requirement to watch some of these movies intended for kids going into pre-school. Let's see, their was "Electric Company", Mister Rogers" to "Sesame Street" which it wouldn't take much to get children entertained when people are wearing fake looking costumes and bad makeup. I don't hate this since it's demographic is clearly obvious, but at the same time I don't like it either.

2 out of 4 stars
December 17, 2013
Regarded as one of the worst movies ever made, this film is about Santa kidnapped by Martians. It only takes a few minutes to see why this film will be one of the worst you will have ever seen.
½ December 14, 2013
Not even "so bad it's good" kitschy, just plain bad.
December 6, 2013
This was on MST3000!
December 4, 2013
Only episode of MST3K i could sit through
November 19, 2013
Well it was pretty crappy movie even for the 1960s low budget movie all the way wasn't even funny I didn't laugh once this shows even back they didn't have good ideas
½ October 13, 2013
"We're going out the good ol' fashioned way. Prancer and Dancer and Donder and Blitzen, and Vixen and Nixon... oh, consarnit I get those names mixed up, but the KIDS know their names."

Typically bad 1960s sci-fi drive-in trash but twisted into a saccharine formula geared for kids. Or stoned dogs. Actual canines. Stoned. I would only wish this on my worst enemy or to those who like to watch real real bad low budget crap or those who've seen every other Christmas movie out there (every. single. one.).
½ July 25, 2013
It's awfulness is absolute, and only mildly enjoyable.
½ July 17, 2013
Wow! Boring acting. Boring script. Boring "special" effects. Everything about this is, well, boring. And the story is so crackheadedly outlandish the only way to wish you weren't dead would be to watch it intoxicated.
May 4, 2013
this might be the worst movie in existence, and yet i get so nostalgic about it!
½ April 27, 2013
This is a classic example of a bad movie. "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" does everything wrong that concerns film production. The acting is terrible, the dialogue is terrible, and more importantly, the special effects are terrible. Yet it's enjoyably cheesy. When you watch it for the first time, you can't help but laugh at what is going on in the film. Oh, it's bad all right, but rest assured, you can get a chuckle here and there. "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" is a bad movie, but it is definitely worth viewing.

The story is that the children of Mars have become depressed and have not experienced any fun whatsoever. So the Martians come to Earth and kidnap Santa Claus to bring joy and laughter back to the planet. That's pretty much it.

"Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" is just as silly and stupid as it may seem. The story is executed poorly. Santa Claus does not conquer the Martians, he only brings joy and happiness to the planet. The dialogue is terrible as it sounds like the actors are forcing it out of their mouths. Oh the acting; it's as bland and awful as it can get. There is no effort or amount of seriousness into the movie from the actors. There's even a moment at the beginning of the film where you can clearly tell that there is someone inside a polar bear and a robot suit.

Speaking of the special effects, everything looks fake. Take the aforementioned robot and polar bear; they are so cheap, it looks like you can see the actor inside the suit. Yes, this movie was made on a low budget, but come on, at least put some effort into the production. In fact, most of the costumes look like they were bought at a custume store. The use of stock footage is cliched and the actual effects look like they were made out of cardboard. "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" is a notoriously bad movie.

Yet it's friggin' hilarious! This is one of those movies you just need to see to believe, and laugh at the absurdity of it all.

In conclusion, "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" is bad, but you will still get a laugh for what it's worth.
January 2, 2013
Hey I just want to see how bad this movie is!
½ December 21, 2012
Just down right unwatchable and ridiculously silly.
December 20, 2012
This was another movie poked fun at by MST3K - classic!
½ December 19, 2012
Imagine yourself as a young child playing by the train tracks. You look and see a lose rail, an imminent danger, and approaching is a massive train filled with passengers. There's nothing you can do, and you just watch as the train heads towards it's destruction, and as it swerves off the tracks, destruction is released. Screams of pain echo endlessly, fires bursting, engines exploding, sights more horrible than the mind can fathom. And all you can do is sit their and watch. Decency tells you to look away, but something draws you in, creepily watching all the destruction, unable to turn your head, as if you want to see just how horrible things could possibly get.

That's kinda' what it's like to watch this movie.
½ December 8, 2012
Do I even need to explain why this sucks?
December 8, 2012
Terrible film; hilarious episode of MST3k.
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