Scary Movie - Movie Quotes - Rotten Tomatoes

Scary Movie Quotes

  • Doofy: This shit is good.


  • Shorty: Oh. Shit. Son
    Shorty: Oh. Shit son.


  • Black TV Reporter: White woman dead. And we're getting the fuck outta here!


  • Shorty: Can I tell you a secret... I see dead people
    Shorty: Can I tell you a secret. I see dead people
    Shorty's Friend: (about the bong) Ohh man! This shit is awesome!
    Shorty's Friend: Ohh man! This shit is awesome!


  • Homeless Man: Can you spare a dollar?
    Buffy: Eurgh! Get away from me, you bum!
    Cindy Campbell: Buffy! Can't you see he's hungry. Here you go, sir. A nice sandwich for you. See?
    Homeless Man: I said a dollar, bitch!


  • Greg: Who did this? Huh, where are you? This isn't funny, alright. A small dick is like a disability, man. Huh, would you make fun of a guy in a wheelchair, huh? Would you? Come on out here, you sick fuck! I'll kick the shit out of you right now! Alright? It's not the size of the hammer, it's the nail you're throwing in at!


  • Cindy Campbell: You guys are psychos! You've seen one too many TV shows!
    Ray: Watching TV Shows doesn't create psychos Cindy! Cancelling them does! (Proceeds stabbing Billy) The Wayans Brothers was a good show man! It was a good-ass show and we didn't even get a final episode!
    Ray: Watching TV Shows doesn't create psychos Cindy! Cancelling them does! [proceeds stabbing Billy] The Wayans Brothers was a good show man! It was a good-ass show and we didn't even get a final episode!


  • Doofy: WAZZZZZZZUPPPPP!!!
    Doofy: WAZZZZZZZUPPPPP!


  • Doofy: I'm gonna chop you like liver.
    Cindy Campbell: Who is this? What do want?
    Doofy: I'm in the house. Do you know where I am? I could be anywhere I'm like the wind baby.
    Cindy Campbell: Um, your behind the couch.
    Doofy: What? How do you know that?
    Cindy Campbell: I can see your feet.


  • Doofy: What's that noise?
    Drew Decker: Ooops. I farted, I didn't think you would hear me.


  • Buffy: Oh my God we hit a boot!


  • Cindy Campbell: Yes I do, um-ah-Miss Mann. Thanks for ball-- I mean, all your help. I have to go to class.


  • Miss Mann: Come in dear. Take off your bra if you'd like.


  • Miss Mann: Alright, knock it off Buffy. Now as you all heard, there's a killer in our town and the police have asked us to give you the following safety tips: Stay in well lit areas; Do NOT travel alone whenever possible; Always whip front to back; and remember, Never EVER believe someone when they tell you, that shaving your pubic hair would rid you of crab infestation. Now I understand this is a very difficult time for you young ladies, so if anyone needs to come to my office to talk, I'm here for you.


  • Brenda: [scoffs] I don't know why you hang out with her. She is such a hoe!
    Cindy Campbell: Why do you say that?!
    Brenda: 'Cause I've seen her. My friend Sean had a pool party this summer--
    Cindy Campbell: Sean?
    Brenda: You know, Puff Daddy. Anyway, everybody was drinking Cristal champagne and then is started to get wild and people were getting freaky in the pool and stuff, I look over and there was your girl getting buckwild in the jacuzzi.
    Cindy Campbell: So?
    Brenda: With a back-up dancer! I mean that's nasty. That's--that's lower than a security guard. At least security can get you backstage. She don't love herself.
    Cindy Campbell: I don't know, I think Buffy's sweet, Brenda.
    Brenda: Oh, she is as fake as press-on nails. [Buffy walks up to them] Hey baby-girl!


  • Doofy: Mom said when i wear this badge you need to respect me.
    Doofy: Mom said that when I wear this badge you're supposed to treat me like a man of the law.
    Buffy: She also said not to stick your dick in the vaccum cleaner.
    Buffy: Yeah, and Mom also said for you to stop sticking your dick in the vacuum cleaner!


  • Shorty: I'm on T.V. Oh shit, first "Cops" now this. I'm gonna be a star, son.
    Shorty: I'm on T.V. Oh shit, first Cops, now this. I'm gonna be a star, son.


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