Scott Pilgrim vs. the World Quotes

  • Stephen Stills: I'm afraid I have some bad news.
    Kim Pine: Is it the news that we suck? Because I really don't think I can take it.


  • Stephen Stills: I'm afraid I have some bad news.
    Kim Pine: Is it the news that we suck? Because I really don't think I can take it.


  • Gideon Graves: [To Scott] You're fighting me... For her?
    Scott Pilgrim: No... I'm fighting you for me.
    The Voice: Scott has earned the power of self-respect!


  • Gideon Graves: [To Scott] You're fighting me... For her?
    Scott Pilgrim: No... I'm fighting you for me.
    The Voice: Scott has earned the power of self-respect!


  • Gideon Graves: [To Scott] You're fighting me... For her?
    Scott Pilgrim: No... I'm fighting you for me.
    The Voice: Scott has earned the power of self-respect!


  • Gideon Graves: [To Scott] You're fighting me... For her?
    Scott Pilgrim: No... I'm fighting you for me.
    The Voice: Scott has earned the power of self-respect!


  • Gideon Graves: [To Scott] You're fighting me... For her?
    Scott Pilgrim: No... I'm fighting you for me.
    The Voice: Scott has earned the power of self-respect!


  • Gideon Graves: [To Scott] You're fighting me... For her?
    Scott Pilgrim: No... I'm fighting you for me.
    The Voice: Scott has earned the power of self-respect!


  • Gideon Graves: [To Scott] You're fighting me... For her?
    Scott Pilgrim: No... I'm fighting you for me.
    The Voice: Scott has earned the power of self-respect!


  • Scott Pilgrim: BREAD MAKES YOU FAT?


  • Scott Pilgrim: Dude, what do you know about Romana Flowers??
    Scott Pilgrim: Dude, what do you know about Romana Flowers?
    Comeau: All I know is that she's American.
    Scott Pilgrim: *sigh* Americann...
    Scott Pilgrim: American...


  • Scott Pilgrim: What is the website for Amazon.ca ?
    Scott Pilgrim: What is the website for Amazon.ca?
    Wallace Wells: Amazon.ca..
    Wallace Wells: Amazon.ca.


  • Scott Pilgrim: You know what sucks?
    Wallace Wells: What?
    Scott Pilgrim: EVERYTHING.


  • Scott Pilgrim: (to Knives) Ciao, Knives!
    Scott Pilgrim: [to Knives] Ciao, Knives!


  • Scott Pilgrim: I kind of feel like I'm on drugs when I'm with you. Not that I do drugs. Unless you do drugs. Then I do drugs all the time, every drug.


  • Wallace Wells: Use the l-word
    Scott Pilgrim: Lesbian
    Wallace Wells: No the other l-word
    Scott Pilgrim: lesbians.


  • Ramona Flowers: Dude, I'm changing
    Scott Pilgrim: Ah! [covers his eyes] Sorry. It's just cold.
    Ramona Flowers: Here. Does that help?
    Scott Pilgrim: Yeah, that's very warm. What is that? [Scott's hands are pulled away to reveal Ramona] Okay...


  • Scott Pilgrim: You cocky cock! You'll pay for your crimes against humanity!


  • Lucas Lee: (checks phone) Hahaha! That's actually hilarious.
    Lucas Lee: [checks phone] Hahaha! That's actually hilarious.


  • Scott Pilgrim: You once were a ve-gone, but now you will be gone!
    Todd Ingram: Ve-gone?


  • Wallace Wells: Remember the "L-word"?
    Scott Pilgrim: lesbian?
    Wallace Wells: No, the other "L-word"!
    Scott Pilgrim: Lesbians?


  • Scott Pilgrim: Wait! We're fighting over Ramona?
    Matthew Patel: Didn't you get my E-mail explaining the situation?
    Scott Pilgrim: I skimmed it.


  • Scott Pilgrim: Are you a pirate?
    Matthew Patel: ....Pirates are in this year!


  • Roxy Richter: you punchec me in the boob prepare to die obviously
    Roxy Richter: You punched me in the boob! Prepare to die, obviously.


  • Scott Pilgrim: You know what sucks the most?
    Wallace Wells: What?
    Scott Pilgrim: Everything...


  • Matthew Patel: This is impossible, how can this be?
    Scott Pilgrim: Open your eyes, maybe you'll see.


  • Todd Ingram: Chicken isn't vegan?


  • Scott Pilgrim: Hey! You totally came!
    Ramona Flowers: Yes. I did totally come.


  • Scott Pilgrim: I'm in lesbians with you.


  • Stacey Pilgrim: She's with Gideon.
    Wallace Wells: That's probably just because he's better than you.


  • Scott Pilgrim: This sucks. I'm gonna pee due to boredom.


  • Kim Pine: Scott, if your life had a face, I would punch it.


  • Crash: My name is Crash, and these are the boys.
    Wallace Wells: Is that girl a boy too?
    Crash: Yes.


  • Scott Pilgrim: Hi, I was thinking about asking you out but then I realized how stupid that would be.
    Scott Pilgrim: So do you wanna go out sometime?


  • Wallace Wells: Kick her in the balls!


  • Crash: This next song goes out to the guy who keeps yelling from the balcony. It's called, "We Hate You, Please Die."
    Crash: This next song goes out to the guy who keeps yelling from the balcony. It's called, 'We Hate You, Please Die.'
    Wallace Wells: Sweet! Love this one.


  • Knives Chau: What do you play?
    Young Neil: Wow, um, Zelda, Tetris... That's kind of a big question.


  • Scott Pilgrim: I'm in lesbians with you.


  • Lucas Lee: we are sex bom omb and where here to make you think about death and get sad and stuff


  • Ramona Flowers: I was just a litte bi-curious.
    Roxy Richter: I'm just a little bi-furious!


  • Lucas Lee: "You made me swallow my gum... It's gonna be in my digestive track for seven years!!"
    Lucas Lee: You made me swallow my gum... It's gonna be in my digestive track for seven years!


  • Scott Pilgrim: "If I peed my pants, would you pretend I just got wet from the rain?"
    Scott Pilgrim: If I peed my pants, would you pretend I just got wet from the rain?


  • Kim Pine: Where's Knives? Not comin' tonight?
    Scott Pilgrim: Naw, we broke up .. hey, check it out, I learned the bass line from Final Fantasy II [plays]
    Kim Pine: [into mike] Scott, you are the salt of the earth.
    Scott Pilgrim: Thanks!
    Kim Pine: [into mike] I meant scum of the earth.
    Young Neil: You broke up with Knives?
    Scott Pilgrim: Yeah, but don't worry, maybe soon you'll meet my "new-new" girlfriend.
    Young Neil: New .. new ..
    Stephen Stills: OK, from here on out, no girlfriends, nor girlfriend talk at practice, wether they're old, new, or 'new-new' .. we were lucky to survive the last round, it's sudden death now! OK!?
    Scott Pilgrim: OK! [starts playing] [doorbell rings] That's for me!


  • Envy Adams: [singing on stage] Hello again, friend of a friend, I knew you were! Our common goal, was waiting for, the world to end! Now that the truth, is just a rule, that you can bend! You crack the whip, shape shift and trick, the past again! Send you my love, on a wire. Lift you off, everytime...everyone pulls away....from you
    Envy Adams: [singing on stage] Hello again, friend of a friend, I knew you were! Our common goal, was waiting for, the world to end! Now that the truth, is just a rule, that you can bend! You crack the whip, shape shift and trick, the past again! Send you my love, on a wire. Lift you off, everytime...everyone pulls away....from you.


  • Lucas Lee: prepare to feel the wrath of the league of evil ex's
    Lucas Lee: Prepare to feel the wrath of the league of evil ex's.


  • Scott Pilgrim: You once were a veg-on but now you will be gone
    Todd Ingram: ve-gon? [Scott Headbutts Todd][Todd Explodes]
    Todd Ingram: Ve-gon? [Scott Headbutts Todd] [Todd Explodes]


  • Roxy Richter: (Shouting to Ramona) Your BF is about to get F-ed In the B!
    Roxy Richter: [shouting to Ramona] Your BF is about to get F-ed In the B!


  • Crash: This song is called "I Am So Sad, I Am So Very Very Sad". It goes a little something like this...[song begins] SO SAD! [song ends] Thank you.
    Crash: This song is called 'I Am So Sad, I Am So Very Very Sad'. It goes a little something like this...[song begins] SO SAD! [song ends] Thank you.
    Wallace Wells: It's not a race, guys!
    Crash: All right, this next song goes to the guy yelling from the balcony. It's called, "We Hate You, Please Die."
    Crash: All right, this next song goes to the guy yelling from the balcony. It's called, 'We Hate You, Please Die.'
    Wallace Wells: Sweet! I love this song!


  • Kim Pine: [bored] We are "Sex Bob-omb." We are here to make money and sell out and stuff.
    Kim Pine: [bored] We are 'Sex Bob-omb.' We are here to make money and sell out and stuff.


  • Scott Pilgrim: Sweet, coins!


  • Roxy Richter: Every Pilgrim reaches the end of his journey. Some sooner than others.


  • Wallace Wells: [refers to Matthew Patel] Hey. What's with his outfit?
    Some Guy: Yeah, is he a pirate?
    Scott Pilgrim: [genuinely curious] Are you a pirate?
    Matthew Patel: Pirates are in this year!


  • Matthew Patel: [crashing into the concert] Mister Pilgrim! It is I, Matthew Patel! Consider our fight begun! [lunges in slow motion at Scott]
    Scott Pilgrim: [dumb-founded] What did I do?! What do I do?
    Wallace Wells: Fight!


  • Todd Ingram: [to Scott after sending him flying through some walls] I can read your thoughts. Your will is broken. You're through.
    Scott Pilgrim: [holds up two cups of coffee] Say we drink to my memory. Fair-trade blend with soy milk?
    Envy Adams: Oh, please. But that's pathetic.
    Todd Ingram: Dude. I saw into your mind's eye. You put half-and-half in one of those coffees in attempt to make me break vegan edge. I'll take the one with soy. [takes one of the coffees via telekenesis] Thanks, tool. [and he drinks from it]
    Scott Pilgrim: Actually, mucacho, I put the coffee in this cup. But I thought really hard to put it in that one, 'in my mind's eye' or whatever.
    Todd Ingram: [disbelief] What are you talking about?
    Scott Pilgrim: You just drank half-and-half, baby.


  • Todd Ingram: Sounds like someone wants to get funky.


  • Stephen Stills: [shouting over Crash and the Boy's overpowering song] How are we supposed to follow this?! We're not gonna win! We're not gonna sign with G-Man! We're not gonna play opening night as the Chaos Theater! Goddammit, Scott! Will you not just keep standing there, you're freaking me out!


  • Crash: Good evening. I am Crash, and these are the Boys.
    Wallace Wells: [shouting] Is that girl a boy, too?
    Crash: Yes...


  • Lucas Lee: Prepare the feel the wrath of the League of Evil Ex's!
    Scott Pilgrim: The what?
    Lucas Lee: You seriously don't know about the League? Seven evil ex's? Coming to kill you? Controlling the future of Ramona's love life?
    Scott Pilgrim: No...?
    Lucas Lee: Really? [offers his hand to Scott] Hey, man, don't worry about it.
    Scott Pilgrim: Really?
    Lucas Lee: Yeah! Let's go grab a beer.
    Scott Pilgrim: That's awesome!
    Lucas Lee: [punches Scott as he gets up, laughing with glee]


  • The Voice: Not so long ago in the distant realm of Toronto, Canada, Scott Pilgrim was dating a high schooler...


  • Todd Ingram: Chicken isn't vegan...?


  • Todd Ingram: Tell it to the cleaning lady on Monday.
    Scott Pilgrim: What?
    Todd Ingram: Because you will be dust by Monday.
    Scott Pilgrim: Um....
    Todd Ingram: Because you will pulverized in two seconds, and the cleaning lady, she cleans up....dust, *imitates a dusting movement with his hand*...she dusts.


  • Scott Pilgrim: I'm in lesbians with you.


  • Scott Pilgrim: Woooowwwwww, girl number!


  • Young Neil: He punched the highlights out of her hair. HE PUNCHED THE HIGHLIGHTS OUT OF HER HAIR!


  • Ramona Flowers: Say bye to your gay friends for me.
    Stacey Pilgrim: Gay friends? *looks left sees Wallace and boyfriend making out* WALLACE, AGAIN?!


  • Other Scott: And you didn't bang her? Are you gay?


  • Demon Hipster Chick: S-L-ICK!


  • Scott Pilgrim: This is, this is, this is...
    Wallace Wells: What?!
    Lucas Lee: This is boring.


  • Kim Pine: *shouting* WE ARE SEX BOB OMB 1-2-3-4!


  • Envy Adams: Hey Ramona i like your outfit, affordable?
    Envy Adams: Hey Ramona I like your outfit, affordable?


  • Scott Pilgrim: "I'm in lesbians with you."


  • Kim Pine: If your life had a face I would punch it.


  • Wallace Wells: I want to have his adopted babies.


  • Crash: We are 'Crash and the boys'
    Crash: We are 'Crash and the boys'.
    Wallace Wells: Is that girl a boy too?
    Crash: Yes
    Crash: Yes.


  • Wallace Wells: You need to break out the 'L' word
    Scott Pilgrim: Lesbian?
    Wallace Wells: The other 'L' word
    Scott Pilgrim: Lesbians?


  • Knives Chau: I've never kissed a guy,
    Scott Pilgrim: Hey, neither have I.


  • Scott Pilgrim: You once were a ve-gone, but now you will be-gone.


  • Scott Pilgrim: I am in lesbians with you.


  • Stephen Stills: We shouldn't even be here. We shouldn't even BE HERE!!!
    Scott Pilgrim: Come on man!*slap* I put my promises aside for the music!*slap* If I can do that we can do anything.


  • Scott Pilgrim: 2 gin and tonics please.
    Scott Pilgrim: Two Gin & Tonics, please.
    Ramona Flowers: I thought you didn't drink.


  • Scott Pilgrim: Gideon's here? Where?
    Kim Pine: That geeky guy next to your girlfriend.
    Scott Pilgrim: That's Gideon!? Gideon is G-Man!?


  • Scott Pilgrim: You are blowing up.....RIGHT NOW!
    Scott Pilgrim: You are blowing up... RIGHT NOW!


  • Stephen Stills: Hey man question I've always wondered how does not eating dairy products give you psychic powers?
    Todd Ingram: Ok, right you know how you only use 10% of your brain? Well the other 90 is filled with curds and whey
    Todd Ingram: Ok, right you know how you only use 10% of your brain? Well the other 90 is filled with curds and whey.


  • Roxy Richter: I'm sending you back to Gideon in a thousand pieces you slag!


  • Lucas Lee: Hey! The only thing keeping me and her apart are the 2 minutes it's gonna take to kick your ass.


  • Scott Pilgrim: I gotta pee on her
    Scott Pilgrim: I gotta pee on her.


  • Scott Pilgrim: Bread makes you fat!?


  • Todd Ingram: Chicken isn't vegan?


  • Scott Pilgrim: I'm in lesbians with you
    Scott Pilgrim: I'm in lesbians with you.


  • Kim Pine: Scott if your life had a face I would punch it
    Kim Pine: Scott, if your life had a face, I would punch it.


  • Todd Ingram: Chicken isn't vegan??
    Todd Ingram: Chicken isn't vegan?


  • Knives Chau: (after coin explosion) wooooooooooooow
    Knives Chau: [after coin explosion] Wow!
    Scott Pilgrim: yea.....woooooooooooooow
    Scott Pilgrim: Yea... Wow.


  • Scott Pilgrim: I'm in lesbians with you.


  • Wallace Wells: [after performance of 'I'm so sad, so very, very sad.'] IT'S NOT A RACE, GUYS!
    Wallace Wells: [after performance] It's not a race, guys!


  • Wallace Wells: If you want something bad, you have to fight for it. Step up your game, Scott. Break out the L-word.
    Scott Pilgrim: Lesbian?
    Wallace Wells: The other L-word.
    Lucas Lee: ... Lesbians?


  • The Voice: K.O.!
    The Voice: K.O.


  • Scott Pilgrim: I love garlic bread. I could honestly eat it all the time nonstop.
    Ramona Flowers: Then you'd get fat.
    Scott Pilgrim: Why would I get fat?
    Ramona Flowers: Bread makes you fat.
    Scott Pilgrim: Bread makes you fat!?


  • Scott Pilgrim: Your kidding. Anyone can be vegan.
    Todd Ingram: Ovo-lacto vegetarian maybe
    Scott Pilgrim: Ovo what?
    Todd Ingram: I partake not in the meat nor the breast milk nor the ovum of any creature with a face
    Todd Ingram: I partake not in the meat nor the breast milk nor the ovum of any creature with a face.
    Envy Adams: Short answer, being vegan just makes you better than most people
    Envy Adams: Short answer, being vegan just makes you better than most people.
    Todd Ingram: Bingo
    Todd Ingram: Bingo.


  • Young Neil: You punched the highlights out of her hair.


  • Scott Pilgrim: You and Her?
    Scott Pilgrim: You know her?
    Ramona Flowers: It was a phase...
    Ramona Flowers: It was just a phase.
    Scott Pilgrim: You had a sexy phase?
    Scott Pilgrim: You had a sexy phase?


  • Lucas Lee: Okay, you listen up and you listen hard, bucko! The next click you hear will be me hanging up. The one after that, will be me pulling the trigger!


  • Roxy Richter: Next time I'll be deadly serious next time!
    Roxy Richter: Because next time, I'll be deadly serious next time.
    Scott Pilgrim: What?


  • Wallace Wells: Scott! Evil ex... fight...
    Wallace Wells: Scott! Evil ex... fight.


  • Scott Pilgrim: Looks like we're in a totally shitty movie
    Ramona Flowers: Yep. At least we look cool. Wait...


  • Gideon Graves: Hey buddy!
    Scott Pilgrim: Save it. (Takes jacket off) You're pretentious. This club sucks. I got beef. Let's do it.
    Scott Pilgrim: Save it. [Takes jacket off] You're pretentious. This club sucks. I got beef. Let's do it.


  • Scott Pilgrim: You know your hair?
    Ramona Flowers: I know of it.
    Scott Pilgrim: It's all blue.


  • Lollipop Hipster: What's the password?
    Scott Pilgrim: Ughh, whatever!
    Lollipop Hipster: Cool.


  • Scott Pilgrim: Before you hear some dirty lies from someone else, yes I'm dating a 17 year old.
    Wallace Wells: Awww, is he cute?
    Scott Pilgrim: Oh ha ha.
    Wallace Wells: Does this mean we have to stop sleeping together?
    Scott Pilgrim: You see another bed in here?
    Wallace Wells: Oh yeah, you're totally my bitch forever.


  • Lucas Lee: (After throwing Scott into a wall, says to Ramona) Sup, how's life? He seems nice.
    Lucas Lee: [after throwing Scott into a wall, says to Ramona] Sup, how's life? He seems nice.


  • Knives Chau: (After asking the bandmembers what instruments they play) And you, what do you play?
    Young Neil: Wow, uhm… Zelda, Tetris… that's kind of a big question.


  • Young Neil: I'm Neil!


  • Scott Pilgrim: Hey, so can this not be a one night stand? For one thing, I didn't even get any... that was a joke.


  • Gideon Graves: Scotty, you can cheat on all the ladies you like... but you can't cheat death.


  • Ramona Flowers: We all have baggage.
    Scott Pilgrim: Yeah, well my baggage doesn't try to kill me every five minutes.


  • Knives Chau: Is Scott here?
    Wallace Wells: You know what? [Scott jumps out of the window.] He just left.


  • Scott Pilgrim: Did you know that the original name for Pac-Man was Puck-Man? You'd think it was because he looks like a hockey puck but it actually comes from the Japanese phrase 'Paku-Paku,' which means to flap one's mouth open and closed. They changed it because they thought Puck-Man would be too easy to vandalize, you know, like people could just scratch off the P and turn it into an F or whatever.


  • Scott Pilgrim: You once were a ve-gone, but now... you will be gone.
    Scott Pilgrim: You once were a ve-gone, but now you will begone.
    Todd Ingram: "Ve-gone"...?
    Todd Ingram: Ve-gone?


  • Knives Chau: You should come over to my house for dinner!
    Scott Pilgrim: Like, Chinese food?


  • Wallace Wells: If you want something bad, you have to fight for it. Step up your game, Scott. Break out the L-word.
    Scott Pilgrim: Lesbian?
    Wallace Wells: The other L-word.
    Scott Pilgrim: ...lesbians?
    Scott Pilgrim: Lesbians?
    Wallace Wells: It's "love", Scott.
    Wallace Wells: It's 'love', Scott.


  • Crash: This song is for the guy who keeps yelling from the balcony. It's called "We Hate You, Please Die."
    Crash: This song is for the guy who keeps yelling from the balcony. It's called 'We Hate You, Please Die.'
    Wallace Wells: Sweet! I love this song.


  • Scott Pilgrim: When I'm around you, I kind of feel like I'm on drugs. Not that I do drugs. Unless you do drugs, in which case... I do them all the time.


  • Scott Pilgrim: If I peed my pants would you pretend that I just got wet from the rain?
    Ramona Flowers: It's not raining.


  • Knives Chau: I've never even kissed a guy before!
    Scott Pilgrim: Hey... me neither.


  • Wallace Wells: Kick her in the balls!


  • Kim Pine: Scott, if your life had a face, I would punch it. I would punch your life in the face.


  • Scott Pilgrim: What's the website for Amazon.ca?
    Wallace Wells: ...Amazon.ca.
    Wallace Wells: Amazon.ca.


  • Roxy Richter: You punched me in the boob! Prepare to die!
    Roxy Richter: You punched me in the boob! Prepare to die, obviously!


  • Wallace Wells: It's time too break out the L word.
    Scott Pilgrim: Lesbian?
    Wallace Wells: No, the other one.
    Scott Pilgrim: Lesbians?


  • Scott Pilgrim: Young Neil, you have learned well. From this point forward, you will be known as... NEEIILLL!!
    Scott Pilgrim: Young Neil, you have learned well. From this point forward, you will be known as... NEIL!


  • Kim Pine: Scott, not that I care, you should go talk to her before she's gone.
    Scott Pilgrim: Thanks Kim.
    Kim Pine: And I really don't care!


  • Scott Pilgrim: Not only do I wanna take part, I wanna take them apart!


  • Stephen Stills: ...I want her to geek out on us.
    Stephen Stills: I want her to geek out on us.
    Scott Pilgrim: She'll geek. She geeks. She has the capacity to geek.


  • Wallace Wells: Look, I didn't write the gay handbook. If you got a problem with it, take it up with Liberace's ghost.


  • Scott Pilgrim: What's the website for Amazon.ca?
    Wallace Wells: Amazon.ca


  • Knives Chau: Go ahead. I'm too cool for you anyway.


  • Scott Pilgrim: If I peed my pants would you pretend that I just got wet from the rain?
    Scott Pilgrim: If I peed my pants would you pretend that I just got wet from the rain?
    Ramona Flowers: Its not raining
    Ramona Flowers: It's not raining.


  • Lucas Lee: The only thing separating me from her is the two minutes it's gonna take to kick your ass.


  • Wallace Wells: What a perfect asshole.


  • Kim Pine: We are Sex Bob-Omb and we are here to make you think about death and get sad and stuff.


  • Young Neil: He punched the highlights out of her hair!


  • Wallace Wells: Kick her in the balls!


  • Wallace Wells: Okay, presumeably, you may have just seen a dude's junk, and I'm very sorry for that... so is he.


  • Gideon Graves: You made me swallow my gum! That's going to be in my digestive tract for seven years!


  • Envy Adams: You just headbutted my boyfriend so hard he burst.


  • Wallace Wells: If you want something bad, you have to fight for it. Step up your game, Scott. Break out the L-word.
    Wallace Wells: If you want something bad, you have to fight for it. Step up your game, Scott. Break out the L-word.
    Scott Pilgrim: Lesbian?
    Wallace Wells: The other L-word.
    Scott Pilgrim: ...Lesbians?
    Scott Pilgrim: Lesbians?


  • Todd Ingram: Tell it to the cleaning lady on Monday.
    Scott Pilgrim: What?
    Todd Ingram: Because you'll be dust by Monday... because you'll be pulverized in two seconds. The cleaning lady? She cleans up... dust. She dusts.
    Scott Pilgrim: So, what's on Monday?
    Todd Ingram: 'Cause... it's Friday now, she's the weekends off, so... Monday, right?"
    Todd Ingram: 'Cause... it's Friday now, she has the weekends off, so... Monday, right?


  • Ramona Flowers: (Walks up to Gideon)
    Gideon Graves: Oh yeah, that's my girl.
    Ramona Flowers: (Leans in towards Gideon) Let's both be girls. (Knees him in the crotch)


  • Julie Powers: For (Bleeped out) Pilgrim.


  • Ramona Flowers: It was just a phase!
    Scott Pilgrim: You hade a sexy phase?
    Ramona Flowers: I was just a little bi-curious!
    Roxy Richter: Well honey, I'm a little bi-furious!


  • Ramona Flowers: You're not dead, your just having some idiotic dream.
    Scott Pilgrim: Ohh, does that mean we can make out?


  • Ramona Flowers: How'd you meet Knives?
    Scott Pilgrim: Uhh, (Dial appears on his head, it lands between "Who her", and "I've got to pee".) I've got to pee on her, uhh, I mean I've got to pee.
    Scott Pilgrim: Uhh, (Dial appears on his head, it lands between 'Who her', and 'I've got to pee'.) I've got to pee on her, uhh, I mean I've got to pee.


  • The Voice: A long time ago, in a distant land, called Toronto, Canada.


  • Stephen Stills: HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO FOLLOW THIS? WE'RE NOT GOING TO WIN. WE'RE NOT GONNA SIGN WITH G-MAN. WE'LL NEVER PLAY OPENING NIGHT AT THE CHAOS THEATRE. GOD DAMN IT SCOTT WILL YOU JUST STOP STANDING THERE YOU ARE FREAKING ME OUT!


  • Wallace Wells: This isn't a race, guys!
    Crash: Okay, this one goes to the guy who keeps shouting from the balcony. It's called: "We Hate You, Please Die".
    Crash: Okay, this one goes to the guy who keeps shouting from the balcony. It's called: 'We Hate You, Please Die'.
    Wallace Wells: Oh, sweet. I love this one!


  • Crash: Good evening. I am Crash, and these are the boys.
    Wallace Wells: [shouting] Is that girl a boy, too?
    Crash: Yes.


  • Stacey Pilgrim: Dating a high schooler?! Scandalous!
    Scott Pilgrim: Am not! Who told you?
    Stacey Pilgrim: Wallace. Duh.
    Scott Pilgrim: That gossipy bitch.
    Wallace Wells: You know me.
    Scott Pilgrim: Wallace!


  • Todd Ingram: Chicken isn't vegan...?
    Todd Ingram: Chicken isn't vegan?


  • Roxy Richter: Your BF is about to get F'd in the B!!
    Roxy Richter: Your BF's about to get F'd in the B!


  • Todd Ingram: What? I'm not afraid to hit a girl. I'm a rock star.
    Young Neil: Oh my god. You punched the highlights out of her hair! He punched the highlights outta her hair!


  • Scott Pilgrim: I'm in lesbians with you.


  • Scott Pilgrim: I'm in lesbians with you.


  • Scott Pilgrim: I'm in lesbians with you.


  • Scott Pilgrim: Hey, this is my gay friend Wallace. He's gay.


  • Scott Pilgrim: Oh god, so alone.
    Ramona Flowers: Your not alone.
    Scott Pilgrim: What?
    Ramona Flowers: Your just having some idiotic dream.
    Scott Pilgrim: Does that mean we can make out?!


  • Gideon Graves: Game Over!
    Gideon Graves: Scotty you can cheat on these ladies all you like, but you can't cheat death
    Gideon Graves: Scotty you can cheat on these ladies all you like, but you can't cheat death.


  • Wallace Wells: Guess who's drunk!?
    Scott Pilgrim: I guess Wallace.
    Wallace Wells: You guess right.


  • Some Guy: She's got some battle scars dude
    Some Guy: She's got some battle scars dude.


  • Wallace Wells: If you want something bad, you have to fight for it. Step up your game, Scott. Break out the L-word.
    Scott Pilgrim: Lesbian?
    Wallace Wells: The other L-word.
    Lucas Lee: ...Lesbians?
    Lucas Lee: Lesbians?
    Scott Pilgrim: Lesbians?


  • Kim Pine: Scott, if your life had a face, I would punch it.


  • Todd Ingram: Tell it to the cleaning lady on Monday.
    Scott Pilgrim: What?
    Todd Ingram: Because you'll be dust by Monday... because you'll be pulverized in two seconds. The cleaning lady? She cleans up... dust. She dusts.
    Todd Ingram: Because you'll be dust by Monday because you'll be pulverized in two seconds. The cleaning lady? She cleans up dust. She dusts.
    Scott Pilgrim: So, what's on Monday?
    Todd Ingram: Cause... it's Friday now, she's the weekends off, so... Monday, right?
    Todd Ingram: Cause it's Friday now, she's the weekends off, so Monday, right?


  • Ramona Flowers: I was just a little bi-curious.
    Roxy Richter: Well, honey, I'm a little BI-FURIOUS!


  • Scott Pilgrim: Okay, let’s start with Launchpad McQuack.
    Scott Pilgrim: Okay, let's start with Launchpad McQuack.
    Stephen Stills: That’s not the actual title of the song.
    Stephen Stills: That's not the actual title of the song.


  • Kim Pine: We are Sex Bob-Omb! And we're here to watch Scott Pilgrim kick your teeth in! One-two-three-four!


  • Envy Adams: You are incorrigible.
    Todd Ingram: I don't know the meaning of the word. *he really doesn't*


  • Lucas Lee: That's actually hilarious.


  • Kim Pine: Scott if your life had a face I would punch it.
    Scott Pilgrim: yeah... wait what?
    Scott Pilgrim: Yeah. Wait what?
    Kim Pine: I mean, are you really happy or are you really evil?
    Scott Pilgrim: Evil? You mean, do I have, like, ulterior motives? I'm offended, Kim.
    Kim Pine: Wounded even?
    Scott Pilgrim: Hurt, Kim.


  • Knives Chau: What do you play?
    Young Neil: uhm zelda, tetris... that's kind of a big question.
    Young Neil: Uhm Zelda, Tetris. That's kind of a big question.


  • Stephen Stills: A gig is a gig is a gig is a gig is a gig....
    Stephen Stills: A gig is a gig is a gig is a gig is a gig.


  • Scott Pilgrim: Double negative. Tricky.


  • Scott Pilgrim: Bread makes you fat?!?
    Scott Pilgrim: Bread makes you fat?!


  • Scott Pilgrim: Why can't we have secret shows?
    Kim Pine: All our shows are secret shows


  • Scott Pilgrim: I'm gonna go pee due to boredorm.


  • Scott Pilgrim: YOU COCKY COCK! YOU WILL PAY FOR YOUR CRIMES AGAINST HUMANITY!!
    Scott Pilgrim: That's it! You cocky cock! You'll pay for your crimes against humanity.


  • Scott Pilgrim: I don't think I can hit a girl, they're soft...


  • Young Neil: He punched the highlights out of her hair!


  • Scott Pilgrim: Being a vegan gives you super powers?


  • The Voice: In the mysterious land of.... Toronto, Canada


  • Wallace Wells: "I think it's time to use the L-Word"
    Scott Pilgrim: "Lesbian?"
    Wallace Wells: "The OTHER L-Word"
    Lucas Lee: "LesbianS?"


  • Kim Pine: That... was *epic.*


  • Roxy Richter: You punched me in the boob! Prepare to die, obviously!


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