Secret Santa Reviews
It's about a car salesman who were supposed to hate because he works, not because he works too hard but because he works, this is absurd. His wife leaves him and takes there son with her until he learns that work is bad, and that's also the moral. An elf turns our hero into Santa Clause because he's the only person in the world who has family problems so now it's up to him to learn the true meaning of Christmas and spend some more time with his family. But that's not all, at what I thought was the end of the movie he says out of the blue that the cars he's selling are stolen without even knowing if they are or not. This happens to be the luckiest guess in the world as he finds out that the cars really are stolen, wow. So Santa gets kidnapped by the guys that were selling him the cars and from here on in it's a completely different movie I hate it when movies do that.
This movie pretty much fails on every level imaginable and I don't really have anything good to say about it. It's not even so bad it's funny it's just very dull and makes you ask questions that are never answered. D.L. Green the guy playing Santa can't act to save his life and his character is unlikeable but not for any of the reasons that the movie wants you to hate him for. The special effects I can't really complain about because it doesn't look like much money went into them so it's not like alot went to waste. The sound effects however are taken straight out of the cutscenes in the CD-I video game Hotel Mario and that really got to me. I think I would rather play Hotel Mario than watch this monstrosity a second time and i'm not even joking it's that bad and probably the worst Christmas movie to feature Santa Clause i've ever scene.
So, if your making a Black Christmas list of what you don't want for Xmas this year than this would be a good recommendation for the #1 spot. Do not watch this.
I have been very good so far this year. Of course, it is only January 17. And I need you to overlook when I hit my mother. She started it, she bites, and she hit back.
Also, please overlook all the swearing and everything else I've done.
On the plus side, I am not in trouble with the law, I've drunk nothing, and have had no sex yet this year.
Please send me a pony, and a doll that wets, and a lot of chocolate.