Secret Things - Movie Reviews - Rotten Tomatoes

Secret Things Reviews

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Chris Hewitt (St. Paul)
St. Paul Pioneer Press
July 2, 2004
Soft-core cornography.
| Original Score: 2/4
Brent Simon
Entertainment Today
January 9, 2004
Tawdry, derailed, intellectualized melodrama -- the desperately French equivalent of an early-'90s, straight-to-vid Joan Severance title...
Full Review | Original Score: C-
Kent Turner
April 9, 2004
With plenty of girl-on-girl action, this is the movie that photographer David Hamilton would love to make.
Full Review | Original Score: 2/5
Dennis Schwartz
Ozus' World Movie Reviews
November 30, 2004
I wouldn't entirely dismiss it, but I would be reluctant to say I found too much about it that warmed my heart and appeased my soul.
Full Review | Original Score: C+
Rich Cline
Shadows on the Wall
August 26, 2005
Brisseau's filmmaking style is artful and clever ... so it's a pity when he begins to wallow in corny moralising and operatic excesses.
Full Review | Original Score: 2.5/5
Top Critic
Desson Thomson
Washington Post
January 30, 2004
Gets more operatically farcical (most of it unintentionally so) by the minute.
Top Critic
Mick LaSalle
San Francisco Chronicle
February 6, 2004
It plays rather like a humorless version of Barbara Stanwyck's tongue-in-cheek classic, Baby Face.
Full Review | Original Score: 2/4
Top Critic
Stephen Whitty
Newark Star-Ledger
February 26, 2004
[The movie] collapses under the weight of its own artsiness.
Top Critic
Ty Burr
Boston Globe
March 16, 2004
You couldn't nail a particular kind of modern French film better if you tried: explicit sex, bad behavior, and shrieking pretention all in one lumpy shock-the-bourgeoisie package.
Full Review | Original Score: 1.5/4
Top Critic
Tom Long
Detroit News
May 14, 2004
A lot of sexy stuff wrapped in an obvious morality tale with some philosophical hooey and clunky symbols thrown in to justify the cheap, but undeniable, thrills.
| Original Score: C+
Jurgen Fauth
February 13, 2004
Culminates in a quasi-philosophical orgy of pretense and trashy would-be kicks that takes its rightful place among the worst movies I have ever seen.
Full Review | Original Score: .5/5
Timothy Knight
January 17, 2004
An overheated melodrama that plays like an art-house version of the gloriously awful Wild Orchid.
| Original Score: 2/4
Rex Roberts
Film Journal International
January 17, 2004
The movie is limp-loined and lame-brained.
Top Critic
Allison Benedikt
Chicago Tribune
April 29, 2004
Either a highly erotic art film trading in sex, power and morality, or a trashy porno pretending to be deep. After watching two hours of hot young French women having sex with men, each other and themselves, I have to go with the latter.
Full Review | Original Score: 2/4
Top Critic
Michael Booth
Denver Post
March 19, 2004
Deteriorates into a silly farce that lands somewhere between Kubrick's Eyes Wide Shut and Guccione's Caligula.
Full Review | Original Score: 2/4
Rob Thomas
Capital Times (Madison, WI)
May 13, 2004
Ridiculous and pretentious and just plain nutty
Full Review | Original Score: 1.5/4
Top Critic
V.A. Musetto
New York Post
February 20, 2004
Second-rate soft-core porn with art-house pretentions.
| Original Score: 1/4
Top Critic
John Hartl
Seattle Times
April 9, 2004
There comes a moment in all truly terrible movies when you sense that you couldn't possibly be co-existing on the same planet as the filmmakers.
| Original Score: 1/4
Top Critic
Mark Jenkins
Washington Post
January 30, 2004
For its first half, Secret Things is a tolerably silly lark ... Yet as Christophe's role expands -- and the soundtrack's classical flourishes become more strident -- the film's plausibility plummets.
Kim Williamson
Boxoffice Magazine
February 19, 2004
Secret Things loses that narrative midway through.
Full Review | Original Score: 2/5
Jonathan W. Hickman
Entertainment Insiders
March 22, 2004
Top Critic
Lisa Nesselson
August 14, 2008
Top Critic

St. Louis Post-Dispatch
March 21, 2004

Seattle Post-Intelligencer
April 16, 2004

Boston Phoenix
August 14, 2004
July 19, 2005
Top Critic

Time Out
February 9, 2006
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