Ian Lafferty: He's gonna find my ass and just fuck it with a roll of fucking quarters!


Ian Lafferty: There is, there is a girl. That I've been kinda...
Rex: Alright, I'm listening, where'd you meet her?
Ian Lafferty: Um, on the, online.
Rex: [Slams car breaks on] What? For fuck's sakes Ian, don't you watch dateline? She's probably a guy. Some fat, old dude who wants to ram you in the tailpipe.


Lance: I refuse to be embarrassed by a car that looks like a Trapper Keeper.


Ian Lafferty: Holy buckets... she wants me to give her the D!