Shaun of the Dead - Movie Quotes - Rotten Tomatoes

Shaun of the Dead Quotes

The top Shaun of the Dead quotes selected by the Rotten Tomatoes community. Login to submit a quote!

  • Liz: You shouldn't feel so responsible. You tried. You did something. That's what counts.
    ‐ Submitted by Mae M (13 months ago)

  • Shaun: David, kill the Queen!
    David: What?
    Shaun: The Jukebox!
    ‐ Submitted by Alec L (21 months ago)

  • Pete: And the front door is open AGAIN!
    ‐ Submitted by Eduardo L (2 years ago)

  • Pete: And the front door is open AGAIN!
    ‐ Submitted by Eduardo L (2 years ago)

  • David: What?
    Dianne: I know you only hung out with me to get close to Liz and when she knocked you back, I was there to pick up the pieces. I've come to terms with that, Daffs, why can't you?
    David: Lizzie, I want you to know that my feelings for you...
    Dianne: David! There are slightly more pressing matters at hand here.
    ‐ Submitted by Victor M (3 years ago)

  • Dianne: You've never thought I was good enough.
    David: What?
    Dianne: We all know you're in love with Liz.
    David: That is not true.
    Shaun: Yes it is!
    David: That is not true.
    Dianne: Yes it is.
    ‐ Submitted by Victor M (3 years ago)

  • Ed: He's gonna be dead either way.
    ‐ Submitted by Victor M (3 years ago)

  • Pete: All he ever does is hold you back. Or is it easier having someone around who's more of a loser than you?
    Shaun: What's that supposed to mean?
    Pete: You know what I mean.
    ‐ Submitted by Victor M (3 years ago)

  • Shaun: I've known him since primary school. I like having him around, he's a laugh.
    Pete: Because he can impersonate an orangutan? Fuck-a-doodle-doo.
    Shaun: Leave him alone.
    Pete: I admit, he can be pretty funny on occasion.
    ‐ Submitted by Victor M (3 years ago)

  • Shaun: Mum, it's Philip, he's gone.
    Barbara: Where's he gone?
    Shaun: Mum, he's dead.
    Barbara: No, he isn't.
    ‐ Submitted by Victor M (3 years ago)

  • Ed: Fire engine?
    Shaun: It's one number and it's busy! And what do you want a fire engine for?
    Ed: Anything with flashing lights.
    ‐ Submitted by Victor M (3 years ago)

  • Shaun: She said if she stayed with me she'd end up in here for the rest of her life like these sad old fuckers wondering what the hell happened.
    ‐ Submitted by Victor M (3 years ago)

  • Shaun: Who the hell put this on?
    Ed: It's on random.
    ‐ Submitted by Victor M (3 years ago)

  • Phillip: You could bring the flowers you forgot on Mother's Day.
    Shaun: I was gonna.
    Phillip: And not a cheap posy from a garage forecourt.
    Shaun: I wasn't gonna.
    ‐ Submitted by Victor M (3 years ago)

  • Liz: Do we, David?
    David: No, of course not, Lizzie.I'm just being proactive.
    ‐ Submitted by Victor M (3 years ago)

  • Shaun: I don't think I've got it in me to shoot my flatmate, my mum and my girlfriend all in the same evening.
    Liz: What makes you think I've taken you back?
    Shaun: Well...you don't want to die single, do you?
    ‐ Submitted by Victor M (3 years ago)

  • Shaun: As Bertrand Russell said the only thing that will redeem mankind is co-operation. I think we can all appreciate that now.
    ‐ Submitted by Victor M (3 years ago)

  • Shaun: What about Ed? There's only two shells.
    Ed: I don't mind being eaten.
    ‐ Submitted by Victor M (3 years ago)

  • Ed: I'm not gonna say if you love her let her go and I'm not gonna bombard you with clichés but what I will say is this...it's not the end of the world.
    ‐ Submitted by Victor M (3 years ago)

  • Ed: You've got red on you.
    ‐ Submitted by Victor M (3 years ago)

  • Dianne: You promised us free cable.
    Shaun: I'm working on that.
    ‐ Submitted by Victor M (3 years ago)

  • Shaun: Ed, don't exacerbate things!
    Ed: What's that mean?
    ‐ Submitted by Prakash C (3 years ago)

  • Shaun: I never called Diane a failed actress!
    ‐ Submitted by Matthew T (3 years ago)

  • Shaun: Oh fuck this, I'm going to the shed!
    Ed: I thought you said it was locked?
    ‐ Submitted by Michael M (3 years ago)

  • Shaun: I left a Mars Bar in the glove box and he chased me around the garden with a piece of wood.
    ‐ Submitted by Augusta M (3 years ago)

  • Ed: Bet Pete would be pissed if he knew I was driving his car.
    Shaun: I don't think so.
    ‐ Submitted by Augusta M (3 years ago)

  • Shaun: I'm so sorry...
    Phillip: Sorry for what?
    Shaun: Er...nothing.
    ‐ Submitted by Augusta M (3 years ago)

  • Shaun: We may have to kill my stepdad.
    ‐ Submitted by Augusta M (3 years ago)

  • David: Well, we can all agree that we did the right thing.
    ‐ Submitted by Augusta M (3 years ago)

  • Shaun: Would anyone like a peanut?
    ‐ Submitted by Augusta M (3 years ago)

  • Shaun: Oh, fuck off four eyes! Why don't you go to her if you love her so much?
    ‐ Submitted by Augusta M (3 years ago)

  • Ed: It's not hip-hop, it's Electro. Fucking prick. Next time I see him he's dead.
    ‐ Submitted by Daniel R (3 years ago)

  • Pete: It's four in the fucking morning!
    Shaun: It's saturday!
    Pete: No it's not. It's fucking sunday,and i've got to go to work in four fucking hours. Because every other fucker in my fucking department is fucking ill. So can you see why i'm so fucking angry!?
    Ed: Fuck ya!
    ‐ Submitted by Daniel R (3 years ago)

  • Ed: Oh God. Who the hell put this on?
    Shaun: [crying] It's on random.
    ‐ Submitted by Daniel R (3 years ago)

  • Liz: Please can we just calm the fuck down.
    ‐ Submitted by Han C (3 years ago)

  • Shaun: Yeah, but Big Al says dogs can't look up!
    ‐ Submitted by Han C (3 years ago)

  • Shaun: David kill the queen.
    David: What?
    Shaun: The jukebox.
    ‐ Submitted by Han C (3 years ago)

  • Phillip: I ran it under a cold tap!
    ‐ Submitted by Corey V (4 years ago)

  • Shaun: I know you don't want to be here forever, even I got things I want to do in my life.
    Pete: When?
    ‐ Submitted by Kylee M (4 years ago)

  • Ed: Who died and made you fucking king of the zombies?
    ‐ Submitted by ethan t (4 years ago)

  • Shaun: Pete... Pete.
    Ed: Oy Prick!
    Shaun: [both of them] He's not in...
    ‐ Submitted by Caomh M (4 years ago)

  • Shaun: Mum, he touched me.
    ‐ Submitted by Monty W (4 years ago)

  • Phillip: [Ed is driving Philip's Jaguar very fast, dodging other cars as he tries to escape the zombies] [pompously] You *do* realise this is a 20 mph zone?
    Ed: [grinning] Oh yeah!
    ‐ Submitted by Francis L (4 years ago)

  • Barbara: My, how you've grown!
    Ed: Yeah, you'd better believe it.
    ‐ Submitted by Francis L (4 years ago)

  • Ed: You've got red on you.
    ‐ Submitted by Francis L (4 years ago)

  • Shaun: [after the gun fires in the pub, proving Ed correct] Okay. But dogs CAN look up!
    ‐ Submitted by Francis L (4 years ago)

  • Shaun: Do you want anything from the shop?
    Ed: Cornetto.
    ‐ Submitted by Francis L (4 years ago)

  • Ed: Don't forget to kill Philip!
    ‐ Submitted by Francis L (4 years ago)

  • Ed: Who died and made you fucking king of the zombies?
    ‐ Submitted by Francis L (4 years ago)

  • Ed: WE'RE COMING TO GET YOU, BARBARA!
    ‐ Submitted by Victor G (4 years ago)

  • Ed: Hey, Shaun, look who it is!
    Shaun: FUCK-A-DOODLE-DO!
    ‐ Submitted by Rocky F (4 years ago)

  • Barbara: It's been a funny kind of day hasn't it?
    ‐ Submitted by Andrew O (4 years ago)

  • Shaun: Get fucked four eyes!
    ‐ Submitted by Daniel R (4 years ago)

  • Ed: Two seconds.
    ‐ Submitted by Daniel R (4 years ago)

  • Ed: Any zombies out there?
    ‐ Submitted by James T (4 years ago)

  • Barbara: [over the phone] Well they were a bit... bitey.
    ‐ Submitted by Thomas G (4 years ago)

  • Ed: Can I get any of you cunts... a drink?
    ‐ Submitted by Jackson L (4 years ago)

  • Dianne: [describing the zombies] Just look at the face: it's vacant, with a hint of sadness. Like a drunk who's lost a bet.
    ‐ Submitted by Gavin S (5 years ago)

  • Shaun: David, kill the Queen!
    David: What?!
    Shaun: The Jukebox!
    David: Ohhh!
    ‐ Submitted by Nic B (5 years ago)

  • Ed: The 'Batman' soundtrack?
    Shaun: Throw it.
    ‐ Submitted by Nic B (5 years ago)

  • Shaun: No! That's the second album I ever bought!
    ‐ Submitted by Alejandro O (5 years ago)

  • Ed: Two seconds!
    ‐ Submitted by Alejandro O (5 years ago)

  • Shaun: Oh my God. She's so drunk.
    ‐ Submitted by Virginia L (5 years ago)

  • Shaun: diba diba diba diba...
    ‐ Submitted by Chris P (5 years ago)

  • Shaun: Bash em in the head...that seems to work out.
    ‐ Submitted by Chris P (5 years ago)

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