Shaun of the Dead - Movie Quotes - Rotten Tomatoes

Shaun of the Dead Quotes

  • Liz: You shouldn't feel so responsible. You tried. You did something. That's what counts.

  • Shaun: David, kill the Queen!
    David: What?
    Shaun: The Jukebox!

  • Pete: And the front door is open AGAIN!

  • Pete: And the front door is open AGAIN!

  • David: What?
    Dianne: I know you only hung out with me to get close to Liz and when she knocked you back, I was there to pick up the pieces. I've come to terms with that, Daffs, why can't you?
    David: Lizzie, I want you to know that my feelings for you...
    Dianne: David! There are slightly more pressing matters at hand here.

  • Dianne: You've never thought I was good enough.
    David: What?
    Dianne: We all know you're in love with Liz.
    David: That is not true.
    Shaun: Yes it is!
    Dianne: Yes it is.

  • Ed: He's gonna be dead either way.

  • Pete: All he ever does is hold you back. Or is it easier having someone around who's more of a loser than you?
    Shaun: What's that supposed to mean?
    Pete: You know what I mean.

  • Shaun: I've known him since primary school. I like having him around, he's a laugh.
    Pete: Because he can impersonate an orangutan? Fuck-a-doodle-doo.
    Shaun: Leave him alone
    Shaun: Leave him alone.
    Pete: I admit, he can be pretty funny on occasion
    Pete: I admit, he can be pretty funny on occasion.

  • Shaun: Mum, it's Philip, he's gone.
    Barbara: Where's he gone?
    Shaun: Mum, he's dead.
    Barbara: No, he isn't.

  • Ed: Fire engine?
    Shaun: It's one number and it's busy! And what do you want a fire engine for?
    Ed: Anything with flashing lights.

  • Shaun: She said if she stayed with me she'd end up in here for the rest of her life like these sad old fuckers wondering what the hell happened.

  • Shaun: Who the hell put this on?
    Ed: It's on random
    Ed: It's on random.

  • Phillip: You could bring the flowers you forgot on Mother's Day.
    Shaun: I was gonna.
    Phillip: And not a cheap posy from a garage forecourt.
    Shaun: I wasn't gonna
    Shaun: I wasn't gonna.

  • Liz: Do we, David?
    David: No, of course not, Lizzie.I'm just being proactive.

  • Shaun: I don't think I've got it in me to shoot my flatmate, my mum and my girlfriend all in the same evening.
    Liz: What makes you think I've taken you back?
    Shaun: don't want to die single, do you?

  • Shaun: As Bertrand Russell said the only thing that will redeem mankind is co-operation. I think we can all appreciate that now.

  • Shaun: What about Ed? There's only two shells.
    Ed: I don't mind being eaten
    Ed: I don't mind being eaten.

  • Ed: I'm not gonna say if you love her let her go and I'm not gonna bombard you with clichés but what I will say is's not the end of the world.

  • Ed: You've got red on you.

  • Dianne: You promised us free cable.
    Shaun: I'm working on that.

  • Shaun: Ed, don't exacerbate things!
    Ed: What's that mean?

  • Shaun: I never called Diane a failed actress!

  • Ed: you alright noddle
    Ed: You alright noddle?

  • Shaun: Oh fuck this, I'm going to the shed!
    Ed: I thought you said it was locked?
    Shaun: (Jumps through the shed door)

  • Shaun: I left a Mars Bar in the glove box and he chased me around the garden with a piece of wood.

  • Ed: Bet Pete would be pissed if he knew I was driving his car.
    Shaun: I don't think so.

  • Shaun: I'm so sorry...
    Phillip: Sorry for what?
    Shaun: Er...nothing.

  • Shaun: We may have to kill my stepdad.

  • David: Well, we can all agree that we did the right thing.

  • Shaun: Would anyone like a peanut?

  • Shaun: Oh, fuck off four eyes! Why don't you go to her if you love her so much?

  • Ed: It's not hip-hop, it's Electro. Fucking prick. Next time I see him he's dead.

  • Pete: It's four in the fucking morning!
    Shaun: It's saturday!
    Pete: No it's not. It's fucking sunday,and i've got to go to work in four fucking hours. Because every other fucker in my fucking department is fucking ill. So can you see why i'm so fucking angry!?
    Ed: Fuck ya!

  • Ed: Oh God. Who the hell put this on?
    Shaun: (crying) It's on random.
    Shaun: [crying] It's on random.

  • Liz: can we just calm the fuck down
    Liz: Please can we just calm the fuck down.

  • Shaun: ok but dogs can look up
    Shaun: Yeah, but Big Al says dogs can't look up!

  • Shaun: David kill the queen
    Shaun: David kill the queen.
    David: what
    David: What?
    Shaun: the jukebox
    Shaun: The jukebox.

  • Phillip: I ran it under a cold tap!

  • Shaun: I know you don't want to be here forever, even I got things I want to do in my life
    Shaun: I know you don't want to be here forever, even I got things I want to do in my life.
    Pete: When?

  • Ed: Who died and made you fucking king of the zombies?

  • Shaun: Pete.... Pete
    Shaun: Pete... Pete.
    Ed: Oy Prick!
    Shaun: (both of them) he's not in ...
    Shaun: [both of them] He's not in...

  • Shaun: "Mum, he touched me"
    Shaun: Mum, he touched me.

  • Phillip: [Ed is driving Philip's Jaguar very fast, dodging other cars as he tries to escape the zombies] [pompously] You *do* realise this is a 20 mph zone?
    Ed: [grinning] Oh yeah!

  • Barbara: My, how you've grown!
    Ed: Yeah, you'd better believe it.

  • Ed: You've got red on you.

  • Shaun: [after the gun fires in the pub, proving Ed correct] Okay. But dogs CAN look up!

  • Shaun: Do you want anything from the shop?
    Ed: Cornetto.

  • Ed: Don't forget to kill Philip!

  • Ed: Who died and made you fucking king of the zombies?


  • Ed: Hey, Shaun, look who it is!
    Shaun: FUCK-A-DOODLE-DO!

  • Barbara: It's been a funny kind of day hasn't it?

  • Shaun: Get Fucked Four Eyes!
    Shaun: Get fucked four eyes!

  • Ed: 2 Seconds.
    Ed: Two seconds.

  • Ed: Any zombies out there?

  • Barbara: They were a bit bitey.
    Barbara: [over the phone] Well they were a bit... bitey.

  • Ed: Right. Can I buy any of you cunts, a drink?
    Ed: Can I get any of you cunts... a drink?

  • Dianne: [describing the zombies] Just look at the face: it's vacant, with a hint of sadness. Like a drunk who's lost a bet.

  • Shaun: David, kill the Queen!
    David: What?!
    Shaun: The Jukebox!
    David: Ohhh!

  • Ed: The Batman Soundtrack?
    Ed: The 'Batman' soundtrack?
    Shaun: Throw it
    Shaun: Throw it.

  • Shaun: No!, That's The Second Album I Ever Bought!
    Shaun: No! That's the second album I ever bought!

  • Ed: Two Seconds
    Ed: Two seconds!

  • Shaun: Oh my God...she's so drunk.
    Shaun: Oh my God. She's so drunk.

  • Shaun: diba diba diba diba...

  • Shaun: Bash em in the head...that seems to work out.

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