Simon Sez Reviews
"Miranda" is there to deliver a $2-million ransom for the kidnapped daughter of a businessman (Clayton Day). But the deal explodes in his face, and "Simon" has to use his hand-to-hand battle skills to get them out of there. After escaping, they run into a beautiful blond (Emma Sjoberg) with martial arts skills that are pretty much equal to "Simon's". She also wants the suitcase, and it is pretty obvious that she and "Simon" has a past together.
Back at "Simon's" place, he and "Miranda" discover that the suitcase is actually filled with two heavy metal bricks and a computer disc. The two take the disc to "Simon's" secret base under a French monastery where two computer experts disguised as monks (John Pinette, Ricky Harris) try to decode the encripted program on the disc.
"Simon" and "Miranda" then go after the daughter (Natalia Cigliuti), who is in love with the son of the kidnapper. And she doesn't even know that she is being held for ransom.
Now, "Simon", "Miranda" and at least one unlikely ally join forces to get the girl back.
Let me tell you something that will be painfully obvious with the first few minutes of the movie -- Rodman is the best actor in the entire cast, except for maybe Sjoberg. The problem is that the supporting cast just tries too hard to get a laugh from the audience, and their jokes just bomb. The lead villain is completely insane -- and not in a good way. He is over-the-top and not a good villain. And the reason he wants the disc is really lame -- he wants to destroy a famed French landmark because he is sick of looking at it.
The other thing that makes this movie pretty watchable is the martial arts fights. The fights are nicely choreographed, and are at a good pace. However, you can tell when the cast is replaced by stunt people in these scenes thanks to how they move when they are obviously wearing a harness and their faces are being hidden by the distance of the camera, a body part or a prop they are holding.
The writing is not that good in this movie. The plot twists are poorly done in this movie, and they come across as confusing. Some of the characters who appear to be a villains turn out to be the good guys, and their turn completely escapes you.
Another problem with this movie is that there is very little chemistry between the cast. Cook is obviously being carried by Rodman on-screen, and he is obviously trying too hard to be the comic relief. On the other hand, Sjoberg and Rodman are a bit better on-screen, but I had a little problem believing that they were a couple prior to when the film takes place because there was no spark between them. It only became obvious that the two were attracted to another when they jumped into bed while having another martial arts fight.
Special effects in this movie is fairly typical. However, they really were cheap with the computer graphics in the villain's super computer screen. This movie was released in 1999, but it appeared that the super computer graphics were done earlier in the decade.
I would suggest that you only see it for the fight scenes and, shockingly, Rodman.