Spaceballs - Movie Quotes - Rotten Tomatoes

Spaceballs Quotes

  • Princess Vespa: What's happening?
    Dot Matrix: It's either the 4th of July or someone is trying to kill us!


  • Col. Sandurz: Lord Helmet!
    Lord Dark Helmet: WHAT?! [hides his dolls]
    Lord Dark Helmet: What?
    Col. Sandurz: We need you sir!
    Lord Dark Helmet: KNOCK ON MY DOOR! KNOCK NEXT TIME!
    Lord Dark Helmet: Knock on my door next time!
    Col. Sandurz: Yes sir!
    Lord Dark Helmet: Did you see anything?
    Col. Sandurz: No sir, I didn't see you playing with your dolls again!
    Lord Dark Helmet: Good!


  • Lord Dark Helmet: Keep firing Assholes!
    Lord Dark Helmet: Keep firing, assholes!


  • Lord Dark Helmet: [just as Spaceball One goes into Ludicrous Speed mode] WHAT HAVE I DONE?!?! MY BRAINS... ARE GOING INTO MY FEET!!!
    Lord Dark Helmet: [just as Spaceball One goes into Ludicrous Speed mode] WHAT HAVE I DONE? MY BRAINS... ARE GOING INTO MY FEET!


  • Col. Sandurz: Are you playing with your dolls again?


  • Lone Starr Space Bum: But Yogurt, what if I never see you again?
    Yogurt: Don't worry about it! We'll meet again in Spaceballs 2: The Quest for More Money
    Yogurt: Don't worry about it! We'll meet again in Spaceballs 2: The Quest for More Money.


  • Lord Dark Helmet: I can't breathe in this thing!


  • President Skroob: Why didn't somebody tell me my ass was so big?


  • Barf the Mawg Co-Pilot: What the HELL was that?!
    Lone Starr Space Bum: Spaceball One...
    Barf the Mawg Co-Pilot: They've gone to plaid!


  • Radar Technician: I lost the bleeps, I lost the sweeps and I lost the creeps
    Lord Dark Helmet: The What?
    Col. Sandurz: The What?
    Lord Dark Helmet: And the What?
    Radar Technician: You know, the bleeps Bop Bop Boooop Bop Booop Bop, The Sweeps (shakes his mouth) and the creeps Do do do dooo do dooo
    Radar Technician: You know, the bleeps Bop Bop Boooop Bop Booop Bop, The Sweeps [shakes his mouth] and the creeps Do do do dooo do dooo
    Lord Dark Helmet: Thats not all hes lost!


  • Lord Dark Helmet: GET BACK HERE YOU FAT BEARDED BITCH!!
    Lord Dark Helmet: GET BACK HERE YOU FAT BEARDED BITCH!


  • Lord Dark Helmet: Commence Operation... VAC-U-SUCK!


  • Lord Dark Helmet: Fuck! Even in the future nothing works.


  • Lord Dark Helmet: YOGURT! I hate Yogurt! Even with strawberries!
    Lord Dark Helmet: Yogurt! I hate Yogurt! Even with Strawberries.


  • Lord Dark Helmet: Shit! I hate it when my Shwartz gets twisted!


  • Lord Dark Helmet: Who made that man a gunner?
    Maj. Asshole: I did, sir! He's my cousin.
    Lord Dark Helmet: Who is he?
    Col. Sandurz: He's an Asshole, sir.
    Lord Dark Helmet: I know that! What's his name?
    Col. Sandurz: That is his name, sir. Asshole. Major Asshole.
    Lord Dark Helmet: And his cousin?
    Col. Sandurz: He's an Asshole, too, sir. Gunner's made first class Phillip Asshole.
    Lord Dark Helmet: How many Asshole's we got on this ship, anyhow? [All Asshole's stand up and shout "YO!"]
    Lord Dark Helmet: How many Asshole's we got on this ship, anyhow? [All Asshole's stand up and shout 'YO!']
    Lord Dark Helmet: I knew it, I'm surrounded by Asshole's. [Dark Helmet pulls down mask.] Keep firing, Asshole's!


  • Lord Dark Helmet: What the hell am I looking at? When does THIS happen in the move?
    Col. Sandurz: NOW. You're looking at now, sir. Everything that happens now is happening now.
    Lord Dark Helmet: Go back to then!
    Col. Sandurz: What?
    Lord Dark Helmet: THEN!
    Col. Sandurz: I can't!
    Lord Dark Helmet: Why not?
    Col. Sandurz: We passed it!
    Lord Dark Helmet: When?
    Col. Sandurz: Just now!
    Lord Dark Helmet: When will then be now?
    Col. Sandurz: SOON!


  • Dot Matrix: THAT was my Virgin Alarm. It's programmed to go off before you do!


  • Lord Dark Helmet: Out of order? F**K! Even in the future nothing works!!
    Lord Dark Helmet: Out of order? F**K! Even in the future nothing works!


  • Lord Dark Helmet: Yes. I always have my coffee when I watch radar, you know that!


  • Lord Dark Helmet: i cant breath in this thing
    Lord Dark Helmet: [breathes heavily, Darth Vader-style] I can't breathe in this thing!


  • Yogurt: Spaceballs the FLAMETHROWER!!! The kids love this one.
    Yogurt: Spaceballs-the Flame Thrower. [turns it on] Dink, Dink, Dink, Dink, Dink, Dink: Ooooh! [reacts to dinks] The kids love this one.


  • Yogurt: May the schwartz be with you!
    Yogurt: May the schwartz be with you!


  • Lord Dark Helmet: Lone Starr, I am your father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate.
    Lone Starr Space Bum: What does that make us?
    Lord Dark Helmet: Absolutely Nothing!


  • Lord Dark Helmet: What's the matter, Colonel Sandurz? CHICKEN?


  • Lord Dark Helmet: I knew it. I'm surrounded by assholes.


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