Splatter Beach (2003)
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Critic Reviews for Splatter Beach
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Audience Reviews for Splatter Beach
Splatter Beach may be one of the best worst movies out there. Looking like a very poor man's Humanoids From the Deep, filmmakers the Polonia Brothers make do with what they have and manage to craft a very campy, but pretty entertaining piece of schlock. The film is about three friends (a geeky writer, a wigger, and his slut girlfriend) who make a trip to a house by Splatter Beach. Soon, people start getting mutilated as green screen beach parties are had in the background. The highlights of the film include an appearance by Erin Brown (aka Misty Mundane, the queen of softcore porn, which has always been odd to me seeing as she looks like a 12-year-old. Eh, still bangable) who does the entire movie fully-clothed (gasp!). If you want titties, look towards Leslie Culton (the shower girl at the beginning of the film) and her GINORMOUS titties, as well as the wigger's gf who also gets naked. Another standout is Ken VanSant who plays the token beach meathead weightlifter who provides some of THE funniest lines in this film. All in all, the film is atrocious in terms of storyline and budget, however, it still manages to entertain and dish out quite a few laughs. The creature effects are childish at best, with one sole man in a costume playing "several" monsters. I'm sorry, but a man in a suit playing a bunch of monsters with the last name "Manglaze" just doesn't sit right with me. It also wasn't a bad idea for the filmmakers to make this film barely an hour long, cutting out a lot of unnecessary drawn out parts and going straight for the meat and potatoes. Chalk this one up to another ultra-low budget cheesefest by the good ole Polonia Brothers (rest in peace, John!). Good film.
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