Splatter Beach (2003)





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As an all weekend music festival gets off to a rocking good start, the stage is set for slaughter in film duo John and Mark Polonia's campy tale of tidal terror. Tonya, Rodney, and Robert have just rolled into Sea Bright Beach for a memorable weekend of music and fun, but something hungry lurks just off the coast of this scenic seaside town: something that can breath the fresh air, walk on two legs, and devour human flesh with a swift snap of its powerful jaws. Now, as the festivities get underway and the clueless partygoers remain blissfully unaware of the terror that walks among them, the tide is about to run red with the blood of this humanoid invader's savory victims.
Action & Adventure , Horror
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Tempe Home Entertainment


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Critic Reviews for Splatter Beach

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Audience Reviews for Splatter Beach


Splatter Beach may be one of the best worst movies out there. Looking like a very poor man's Humanoids From the Deep, filmmakers the Polonia Brothers make do with what they have and manage to craft a very campy, but pretty entertaining piece of schlock. The film is about three friends (a geeky writer, a wigger, and his slut girlfriend) who make a trip to a house by Splatter Beach. Soon, people start getting mutilated as green screen beach parties are had in the background. The highlights of the film include an appearance by Erin Brown (aka Misty Mundane, the queen of softcore porn, which has always been odd to me seeing as she looks like a 12-year-old. Eh, still bangable) who does the entire movie fully-clothed (gasp!). If you want titties, look towards Leslie Culton (the shower girl at the beginning of the film) and her GINORMOUS titties, as well as the wigger's gf who also gets naked. Another standout is Ken VanSant who plays the token beach meathead weightlifter who provides some of THE funniest lines in this film. All in all, the film is atrocious in terms of storyline and budget, however, it still manages to entertain and dish out quite a few laughs. The creature effects are childish at best, with one sole man in a costume playing "several" monsters. I'm sorry, but a man in a suit playing a bunch of monsters with the last name "Manglaze" just doesn't sit right with me. It also wasn't a bad idea for the filmmakers to make this film barely an hour long, cutting out a lot of unnecessary drawn out parts and going straight for the meat and potatoes. Chalk this one up to another ultra-low budget cheesefest by the good ole Polonia Brothers (rest in peace, John!). Good film.

Jason Duron
Jason Duron

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