Mary Poppins Returns
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All Critics (2)
| Fresh (1)
| Rotten (1)
Amid the sound and fury of most TV, the filmmakers deserve credit for simply having sly fun with a tale told by an idiot signifying nothing more than what it promises.
Not even remotely as much fun as its title suggests...
Besides some descent breast casting, this pg-13 poor-man's Jaws rip off is pretty unremarkable.
Even by B-Movie standards this is a retarded no go area. I was expecting at least some cheesy fun, but it seems the youngsters actually expect a career to form out of this, while the older members are bored and ashamed. Towards the end Brian Brown delivers his lines with all the enthusiasm of a mongoloid left alone for a week in an isolated cabin with nothing but a puzzle to keep it company. After it has been revealed he enticed the sharks towards the beach using blood and then witnessing a massacre he remarks "This wasn't supposed to happen". I think he was talking more about his life than the film itself. It tries to deal with serious issues such as independence and date rape, but then ends with a shot of hundreds of sharks, inexplicably, swarming together.
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