It's a real shame because a couple of days ago I watched a really good Nicholas Cage film called The Frozen Ground and then I see this mess. Disappointing choice Mr Cage .
The thing about most Nicholas Cage movies is that I can never decide whether it's the actual movie that sucks, or just Nicholas Cage. Would "Stolen" have been a good movie had Liam Neeson played the main character? Or could even his badassery not save this train wreck of a script? It's certainly one of the great questions of our age, and one that would probably have stay unanswered if I hadn't already seen "Taken" (hint: it's really, really good. And Nicholas Cage free. Quite the coincidence, huh?).
Another couple of questions that could probably be answered if I wanted to waste my time thinking them through:
What's up with Nicholas Cage's face? Is that Botox? A face lift? ...Both?
Why does Malin Åkerman insist on speaking Swedish in every movie she's in? And in every interview?
Why should I root for the main character? Because he's a hardened criminal with enough morals not to kill an innocent bystander? Because he swears that he's a reformed man post-prison, even though it turns out he spent most of the time locked up dreaming up a heist?
How is Nicholas Cage's character not completely technologically challenged after eight years' incarceration? How can he navigate the FBI's database with such ease yet not know what a GPS is?
Why hasn't the bank upgraded to a better safe? Why are the tunnels beneath their gold stash completely unguarded and so very accessible?
Why do the FBI storm buildings without securing the exits? Why do they keep on getting their butts handed to them? Why are they so completely incompetent?
Again, who does this movie want me to root for? The creepy ex-con with the emotional depth of a puddle? The FBI agents who should've shot him in the leg already (but who probably would have missed because just look at them!)? The one legged kidnapper who's so angry and revengeful that he's a caricature? The daughter in distress who I know next to nothing about except that as a little girl she liked Care Bears?
Why can't I muster up any feelings except a vague sense of bewilderment when it comes to this movie? Why don't I even dislike it? Is it because disliking it would mean that I had to feel something for it? Would it even be possible for me to summon up enough feeling to dislike such a bland display of blah blah blah?
tl;dr - Watch "Taken" instead.
certain to make love pass.
This wasn't as bad as I thought it would be; granted, it's not that good either. Nicholas Cage (who plays Will Montgomery) gave a fairly lackluster performance. I remember a time when Nic Cage won an Academy Award, where has that guy gone? I understand that not every role is Academy Award caliber but at least try not to phone it in, you're still getting paid, right? Josh Lucas (Vincent) was cool and probably the best character in the whole film. Malin Ackerman was the token hottie and was nothing more than just window-dressing, any other eye-candy could have played her part. The story was interesting enough and I have to admit, the concluding caper was pretty clever; but the film was just too drawn out. There were just too many inconsequential events that just slowed the pacing down and made the film a little too boring. Overall, it was tolerable but not worthy of a repeat viewing. Once was enough.
It's popcorn-kicking fun; aka, the more you can turn your brain off, the more enjoyable the experience will be. And it's hard to fault Stolen for that since it doesn't set its sights higher. "I am Stolen," it says. "I am what I am."
It starts off a bit slowly as we Mission Impossible our way to the bank robbery that puts our main character, Will, in prison. But once he's out of prison (8 years, or about 2 movie seconds, later) his daughter gets kidnapped and is held for ransom.
Essentially. It's more convoluted and unbelievable than that.
Actually, "convoluted" and "unbelievable" describe this whole movie. The plot strains the bounds of credibility. I think I tend to suspend disbelief more than most people, and even I found myself saying "LOL REALLY?" way too often. The plot binds itself into too many corners to adequately escape from, so it just flubs the details.
When I phrase it like that it almost sounds respectable: "Eh, to hell with the thinkers. Here's the story WE want." Logic be damned.
Throw in some really unbelievable and awkward dialogue and you've got a terrible movie that still ends up being fun. It's a hard movie to hate, but also a hard movie to respect.
also stars Josh Lucas, Danny Huston, Malin Akerman, Edrick Browne, Mark Valley, Barry Shabaka and M.C. Gainey.
directed by Simon West.