Stranger Than Fiction - Movie Quotes - Rotten Tomatoes

Stranger Than Fiction Quotes

  • Harold Crick: This may sound like gibberish to you... but uh... but I think I'm in a tragedy.


  • Harold Crick: You just said ten seconds ago, you wouldn't help me.
    Professor Jules Hilbert: It's been a very revealing ten seconds.


  • Harold Crick: I brought you flours.


  • Professor Jules Hilbert: Aren't you glad you're not a golem?
    Harold Crick: Yes. I am glad I'm not a golem.


  • Karen 'Kay' Eiffel: if only he knew that by wednesday he will die
    Karen 'Kay' Eiffel: If only he knew that by wednesday he will die.
    Harold Crick: What?! did you who said that?
    Harold Crick: What? Did you who said that?


  • ER Orderly: Are you suffering from something?
    Karen 'Kay' Eiffel: Just writer's block.


  • Penny Escher: And I supposed you smoked all these cigarettes.
    Karen 'Kay' Eiffel: [beat] No, they came pre-smoked.
    Penny Escher: [deadpan] They said you were funny...


  • Harold Crick: Thank you for forcing me to eat them.


  • Ana Pascal: Mr. Crick! You're here early. Must have a lot of people to extort.


  • Harold Crick: Professor Hilbert, I'm an IRS agent. Everyone hates me.
    Professor Jules Hilbert: Right, good. Have you met anyone recently who might loathe the very core of you?


  • Karen 'Kay' Eiffel: I don't need a nicotine patch, Penny, I smoke cigarettes.


  • Professor Jules Hilbert: Aren't you relieved to know you're not a Golem?
    Harold Crick: Yes. I am relieved to know that I am not a Golem.
    Professor Jules Hilbert: Good. [silence]
    Professor Jules Hilbert: [sighs] Do you have magical powers?


  • Professor Jules Hilbert: You are not King Hamlet, Scout Finch, Miss Marple, Frankenstein's Monster...or a Golem.


  • Professor Jules Hilbert: Agreed. Let's start with ridiculous and move backwards.


  • Ana Pascal: [laughing at Harold's humor]
    Karen 'Kay' Eiffel: [narrating] Harold nervously made small talk.
    Harold Crick: You have very...[gesturing] straight teeth.
    Karen 'Kay' Eiffel: [narrating] Very small talk.
    Ana Pascal: Thanks. They're real. [nodding]


  • Ana Pascal: Actually, uh, it's my weekly evil conspiracy and needlepoint group.
    Harold Crick: Oh...
    Ana Pascal: Wanna come?
    Harold Crick: I left my thimbles and socialist reading material at home.


  • Ana Pascal: Okay, apology accepted. But only because you stammered.


  • Harold Crick: "As Harold took a bite of Bavarian sugar cookie, he finally felt as if everything was going to be ok. Sometimes, when we lose ourselves in fear and despair, in routine and constancy, in hopelessness and tragedy, we can thank God for Bavarian sugar cookies. And, fortunately, when there aren't any cookies, we can still find reassurance in a familiar hand on our skin, or a kind and loving gesture, or subtle encouragement, or a loving embrace, or an offer of comfort, not to mention hospital gurneys and nose plugs, an uneaten Danish, soft-spoken secrets, and Fender Stratocasters, and maybe the occasional piece of fiction. And we must remember that all these things, the nuances, the anomalies, the subtleties, which we assume only accessorize our days, are effective for a much larger and nobler cause. They are here to save our lives. I know the idea seems strange, but I also know that it just so happens to be true. And, so it was, a wristwatch saved Harold Crick." -Kay Eiffel
    Karen 'Kay' Eiffel: As Harold took a bite of Bavarian sugar cookie, he finally felt as if everything was going to be ok. Sometimes, when we lose ourselves in fear and despair, in routine and constancy, in hopelessness and tragedy, we can thank God for Bavarian sugar cookies. And, fortunately, when there aren't any cookies, we can still find reassurance in a familiar hand on our skin, or a kind and loving gesture, or subtle encouragement, or a loving embrace, or an offer of comfort, not to mention hospital gurneys and nose plugs, an uneaten Danish, soft-spoken secrets, and Fender Stratocasters, and maybe the occasional piece of fiction. And we must remember that all these things, the nuances, the anomalies, the subtleties, which we assume only accessorize our days, are effective for a much larger and nobler cause. They are here to save our lives. I know the idea seems strange, but I also know that it just so happens to be true. And, so it was, a wristwatch saved Harold Crick.


  • Professor Jules Hilbert: Aren't you relieved to know you're not a Golem?
    Professor Jules Hilbert: Hmm? Aren't you relieved to know you're not a golem?
    Harold Crick: Yes. I am relieved to know I'm not a Golem.
    Harold Crick: Yes. I am relieved to know that I am not a golem.


  • Ana Pascal: (throws wad of dough on wall, shouting) TAX MAN!
    Ana Pascal: (throws wad of dough on wall, shouting) Tax man!


  • Harold Crick: You have very...straight teeth.
    Harold Crick: You have very... straight teeth.
    Ana Pascal: Oh, yeah. They're real.


  • Karen 'Kay' Eiffel: This is a story about a man named Harold Crick and his wristwatch. Harold Crick was a man of infinite numbers, endless calculations, and remarkably few words. And his wristwatch said even less. Every weekday, for twelve years, Harold would brush each of his thirty-two teeth seventy-six times. Thirty-eight times back and forth, thirty-eight times up and down. Every weekday, for twelve years, Harold would tie his tie in a single Windsor knot instead of the double, thereby saving up to forty-three seconds. His wristwatch thought the single Windsor made his neck look fat, but said nothing.


  • Ana Pascal: Harold you're not fine! Look at you, you're severely injured!


Find More Movie Quotes