The Stuff - Movie Quotes - Rotten Tomatoes

The Stuff Quotes

  • Col. Spears: Pay the drivers, issue a ten-percent tip, get a cash receipt.
    State Trooper: Yes, sir!
    Col. Spears: Proceed to the main lobby; we will reassemble! HUP!
    Col. Spears: Proceed to the main lobby, we will reassemble! HUP!


  • Col. Spears: I will permit this colored man to speak. But speak one word of the Commie party, or one word in code, and I will blow his head off.


  • Chocolate Chip Charlie: Don't you know who I am? I am Chocolate-Chip Charlie! My hands are registered with the mid-New Jersey police as lethal weapons, and I eat them guns for breakfast!


  • David "Moe" Rutherford: There nobody here but you?
    Gas Station Attendant: Well, don't you wanna wash your hands or something? I put in a new towel!


  • Chocolate Chip Charlie: The only thing Chocolate Chip Charlie knows better than fighting is running.
    David "Moe" Rutherford: Pick a direction!


  • Girl in Stuff Commercial: When I was a little girl I didn't think there was anything I like better than ice-cream. Now I'm a big girl. And I decided there's something I like better...much better. It's called The Stuff. And believe me...now is never enough.
    Girl in Stuff Commercial: When I was a little girl I didn't think there was anything I like better than ice-cream. Now I'm a big girl. And I decided there's something I like better, much better. It's called The Stuff. And believe me, now is never enough.


  • Col. Spears: The yellow sons of bitches, they took their own lives! Commie bastards, you cheated me!


  • David "Moe" Rutherford: Are you eating it or is it eating you?


  • Col. Spears: I kind of like the sight of blood...but this is disgusting!
    Col. Spears: I kind of like the sight of blood, but this is disgusting!


  • Fletcher: Let go of it, Mr. Rutherford. You can't stop it.
    David "Moe" Rutherford: I can shut you down.
    Fletcher: (laughs) - I don't know. I really don't know. I don't think anybody would pay too much attention to a disreputable guy like you. You're a rogue; you're a crook in the pay of the ice cream companies just out trying to screw the competition.
    David "Moe" Rutherford: I could always kill you.


  • David "Moe" Rutherford: That stuff comes right out of the center of the Earth and straight into our supermarkets.


  • Chocolate Chip Charlie: You are not thinking about going after it!
    David "Moe" Rutherford: I hope you got a gun on you, Charlie!
    Chocolate Chip Charlie: How many times am I supposed to tell you my hands are lethal weapons?
    David "Moe" Rutherford: I hope you're right, 'cause if that thing tries to kill me, you kill me first!


  • David "Moe" Rutherford: Okay, lethal hands, kill the door.
    Chocolate Chip Charlie: Watch out for splinters.


  • Old Miner: (finds the Stuff bubbling out of the ground) - What the hell is this? Sure smooth [he tastes some] ...That tastes real good! Tasty! Sweet!
    Old Miner: (finds the Stuff bubbling out of the ground) - What the hell is this? Sure smooth [he tastes some] That tastes real good! Tasty! Sweet!
    Miner: Harry, what are you doing down there, taking a leak?
    Old Miner: No.
    Miner: Want us to wait for ya?
    Old Miner: No, you guys go on ahead. I'll catch up to ya later [continues eating the Stuff] ...I'll be damned. Whatever that could be, it's mighty good.
    Old Miner: No, you guys go on ahead. I'll catch up to ya later [continues eating the Stuff] I'll be damned. Whatever that could be, it's mighty good.


  • Col. Spears: We're Americans - we've never lost a war!
    Col. Spears: We're Americans, we've never lost a war!
    Jason: What about 'Nam, sir?
    Col. Spears: 'Nam? We lost that war at home, sonny.


  • Vickers: Ben! No, Ben! I'll buy more!


  • Jason's Mother: Low in calories, good tasting, and it doesn't even spot...and he doesn't like it.
    Jason's Mother: Low in calories, good tasting, and it doesn't even spot. And he doesn't like it.


  • David "Moe" Rutherford: Well, everybody has to eat shaving cream once in a while.


  • David "Moe" Rutherford: You're Chocolate Chip Charlie!
    Chocolate Chip Charlie: Well, I sure as hell ain't the Kentucky Colonel!


  • Miner: Harry, what are you doing eating snow?
    Old Miner: (eating the Stuff) - Are you outta your head, buddy? If this is snow, try it. [Offers the other miner some]
    Miner: No, I don't eat snow.
    Old Miner: Come on; give it a try, that's not snow. Try it.
    Miner: (he tries it) - What the hell is it?
    Old Miner: You know, if this stuff is bubbling out of the ground like this, there might be enough of it here that we could sell to people!


  • Jason: What am I supposed to do?
    Jason's Brother: What you're supposed to do, you're supposed to EAT IT, that's all; you eat it and eat as much of it as you can and you KEEP eating it!
    Jason's Brother: What you're supposed to do, you're supposed to EAT IT, that's all. You eat it and eat as much of it as you can and you KEEP eating it!


  • David "Moe" Rutherford: Did you find anything out?
    Chocolate Chip Charlie: What you gonna find out, man, in a town that has just dried up and blown away, man? ...Must be a side effect of eating too much dessert; an urge to migrate.
    Chocolate Chip Charlie: What you gonna find out, man, in a town that has just dried up and blown away, man? Must be a side effect of eating too much dessert; an urge to migrate.


  • David "Moe" Rutherford: The name's Mo Rutherford. They call me that 'cause when people give me money, I always want mo'.


  • Gas Station Attendant: Go away...leave us alone.
    Gas Station Attendant: Go away. Leave us alone.
    Chocolate Chip Charlie: What do you mean "us" man? We're talking to you!
    Chocolate Chip Charlie: What do you mean 'us' man? We're talking to you!


  • David "Moe" Rutherford: No one is as dumb as I appear to be.


  • David "Moe" Rutherford: What do you think, Charlie?
    Chocolate Chip Charlie: The man is not in proper operating order.
    David "Moe" Rutherford: Absolutely.
    Chocolate Chip Charlie: I'd like to take him someplace and get him X-rayed.
    David "Moe" Rutherford: Yeah, but what if he doesn't wanna come along with us?
    Chocolate Chip Charlie: We snatch him.
    David "Moe" Rutherford: Oh, now, Charlie, I run a high-tech operation. I don't go in for things like that.
    Chocolate Chip Charlie: I got a few low-tech solutions for our problem. We hit that sucker over the head.
    David "Moe" Rutherford: Oh, well, ummm...we could do that.
    David "Moe" Rutherford: Oh, well, ummm, we could do that.
    Chocolate Chip Charlie: We throw him in the trunk of the car.
    David "Moe" Rutherford: We could do that, too.
    Chocolate Chip Charlie: And we take off.
    David "Moe" Rutherford: In whose car?


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