Sweet Home Alabama - Movie Quotes - Rotten Tomatoes

Sweet Home Alabama Quotes

  • Pearl: Some people might call 'em spoiled, but I think that these almost ruined ones sometimes make the sweetest jam.


  • Pearl Smooter: Your daddy... Lord, but I was a fool for that man. I couldn't even put one foot in front of the other. I just kept thinkin', "Oh, preacher, hurry up before he changes his mind!" Now that man makes me so crazy sometimes I could wring his neck!
    Melanie Carmichael: You still love him, though.
    Pearl Smooter: God knows I do. And only He knows why.


  • Wade: (breaking up Melanie and Jake's kiss in the rain) What the hell are you two tryin' to do... get yourselves killed?
    Melanie Carmichael: What seems to be the trouble, officer?
    Wade: I'm here to bring you in, young lady!
    Jake Perry: What did she do this time?
    Wade: Well, the way I hear it... seems like she run out on a perfectly good cake!


  • Bobby Ray: (Opens the door to see Jake and Andrew. Obviously Andrew is attractive) What's goin' on, Jake?
    Bobby Ray: What's goin' on, Jake?


  • Melanie Carmichael: (about Bryant the dog as he jumps in the water) Can he swim?
    Melanie Carmichael: Can he swim?
    Jake Perry: Doesn't look like it?


  • Melanie Carmichael: (on her cell phone while driving) I can't, I'm in Alabama.
    Melanie Carmichael: I can't, I'm in Alabama.
    Tabatha: (in New York) Oh... my god.
    Tabatha: Oh my god.


  • Stella Kay: You know, for someone who's been holdin' onto somethin' for so long, you're pretty quick to let it go.
    Jake Perry: I can't control her, any more than I can control the weather.


  • Mayor Katherine Hennings: You are just like your father. One minute you're brilliant and you're controlled, the next thing you're throwin' it away on some piece of ass!


  • Mayor Katherine Hennings: You are just like your father. 1 minute you're brilliant and so controlled, the next thing you're throwing it away on some piece of ass!
    Mayor Katherine Hennings: You are just like your father. One minute you're brilliant and so controlled, the next thing you're throwing it away on some piece of ass!


  • Jake Perry: Whatcha wanna be married to me for?
    Melanie Carmichael: So I can kiss you anytime I want.


  • Melanie Carmichael: Why don't you just go to a gay bar?!
    Melanie Carmichael: Why don't you just go to a gay bar?


  • Jake Perry: Holy shit, what happened to the stove? Oh and where are some little magnets I had over here huh? What the hell is this? Chick food?
    Melanie Carmichael: Light beer. Less calories. I've tried to pick out a new bed but have you ever been to the Sit and Sleep lately? Yuck. I suppose I'll just have to order somethin' from New York
    Jake Perry: Whatever blows your dress up, darlin'. You go right ahead and spent your money.
    Melanie Carmichael: Oh but, darlin', I thought you said we should think of it as our money? Just a guess, but I'm thinkin' the words "joint checkin'" are flashin' into your head right now?
    Jake Perry: How much did you take?
    Melanie Carmichael: All of it!
    Jake Perry: Son of a bitch!


  • Melanie Carmichael: Hi honey! Lookin' good! How's the family?
    Jake Perry: Cut the shit! Where's my stuff?
    Melanie Carmichael: Now what kinda wife would I be if I didn't pick up after my husband?
    Jake Perry: The kind that don't live here! Now I'm gonna ask you one last time, where is the hide-a-key?
    Melanie Carmichael: I had the sweetest talk with Wade's mama's about her tractor.
    Jake Perry: Nice to see you got your accent back
    Melanie Carmichael: Oh, I stubbled across a few things today.


  • Jake Perry: C'mon, I wanna show you somethin'.
    Melanie Carmichael: I can't
    Jake Perry: Can't? Or won't?
    Melanie Carmichael: Both
    Jake Perry: The girl I knew used to be fearless.
    Melanie Carmichael: The girl you knew didn't have a life
    Melanie Carmichael: The girl you knew didn't have a life.
    Jake Perry: Guess you better get on with it then.


  • Bobby Ray: We weren't aimin' for you, but I doubt I woulda gone to your funeral.


  • Lurlynn: You know he went up there?
    Melanie Carmichael: Who? Jake?
    Lurlynn: I'm not supposed to know but Clinton let it slip once.
    Melanie Carmichael: When?
    Lurlynn: About a year after you left. He told Clinton he'd never seen anything like it. He knew that it would take more than an apology to get you back. He'd have to conquer the world first. He's been tryin' ever since
    Lurlynn: About a year after you left. He told Clinton he'd never seen anything like it. He knew that it would take more than an apology to get you back. He'd have to conquer the world first. He's been tryin' ever since.
    Melanie Carmichael: That's why he kept sendin' the papers back
    Melanie Carmichael: That's why he kept sendin' the papers back.


  • Jake Perry: The only reason I ain't signin' is cause you've turned into some hoity-toity Yankee bitch, and I'd like nothin' better right now than to piss you off.


  • Young Melanie: What do you want to be married to me for, anyhow?


  • Jake Perry: You can have roots and wings.


  • Melanie Carmichael: And, don't even pretend like you missed me
    Melanie Carmichael: And, don't even pretend like you missed me.
    Jake Perry: Oh, I missed you, all right. But, at this range, my aim is bound to improve
    Jake Perry: Oh, I missed you, all right. But, at this range, my aim is bound to improve.


  • Mayor Katherine Hennings: There is nothin' wrong with poor people, I get elected by poor people?.
    Mayor Katherine Hennings: There is nothin' wrong with poor people, I get elected by poor people?


  • Bobby Ray: You can take the girl out of the honky tonk, but, you can't take the honky tonk out of the girl.


  • Earl Smooter: You can't ride two horses with one ass, sugarbean.


  • Andrew: You married your *cousin*.


  • Mayor Katherine Hennings: Why don't you go back to your doublewide and fry somethin'.
    Melanie Carmichael: (hitting Kate) Nobody talks to my momma like that?.
    Melanie Carmichael: [hitting Kate] Nobody talks to my momma like that?


  • Melanie Carmichael: Like I could tip a cow BY MYSELF.
    Melanie Carmichael: Like I could tip a cow... by myself!


  • Jake Perry: Can I help you?.
    Jake Perry: Can I help you?
    Melanie Carmichael: Well, for starters, you can get your stubbon ass down here and give me a divorce.
    Jake Perry: You're shittin' me, right?.
    Jake Perry: You're shittin' me, right?
    Melanie Carmichael: I never really understood that expression, but, no, I am not *shitting* you.


  • Stella Kay: You know. For someone, who's been holdin' on to somethin' so wrong. You're pretty quick to let it go.
    Stella Kay: You know for someone whose been holding onto something for so long, you're pretty quick to let it go.
    Jake Perry: I can't control her.... Anymore that I can control the weather.
    Jake Perry: I can't control her, any more than I can control the weather.


  • Frederick: Do we know.... Mo.


  • Melanie Carmichael: You have a baby...in a bar...!
    Melanie Carmichael: Look at you, you have a baby... In a bar.


Find More Movie Quotes