Tales from the Crypt Presents Bordello of Blood Reviews
Starring:John Kassir, Dennis Miller, Erika Eleniak, Angie Everhart, Chris Sarandon, Corey Feldman, Aubrey Morris, Phil Fondacaro, and William Sadler
Directed By:Gilbert Adler
Hello kiddies your pal the crypt-critic here let me tell about a film so disappointing it had barely any blood to show for.
The film is about a detective named Rafe who is on the search for the brother of a woman named Kathryn. During his investigation he makes the discovery that the woman in charge of all the missing men are seductress vampires. He must stop these vampires from spreading their business and eating the entire town.
The movies not so fun premise is not the kind of lusting vampire film that I would want to sink my teeth into, it just feels like their could have been more or something. But there is one amazing sequence at the end that I'm going to go into detail but let's just say it has something to do with water guns.
This was the second Tales from the crypt movie that was ever released, the first being demon night which is my favorite so far, but bordello is more for the adult-watching lust having vampire horror viewers out there and it if that's your thing then you can really sink your teeth into this. But if I want vampire-action I'll stick with Fright night(both of them) and Bram Stokers Dracula and the Bela Lugose one.
This tale from the crypt is not as impressive as the last one,but it does have it's moments. I'm giving Bordello of Blood a two and a half out of five.
Previous review: Who doesn't love Dennis Miller. Campy bad movie. Good stuff.
A bad boy and his group of friends head to a whore house in the cellar of a mortuary and come up missing. The sister of the bad boy hires a private investigator to find her missing brother. He discovers the brothel is a secret lair of vampires and will try to take them down and get out of the brothel alive.
"What can I say, boys, I know how to turn a woman on."
Gilbert Alder, director of episodes from the television series Tales from the Crypt, Freddy's Nightmare, Charmed, Fantasy Island, and Perversions of Science, delivers Tales from the Crypt: Bordello of Blood. The storyline for this picture is okay and fun to watch unfold. There was a lot of cheese written into the plot and the acting was disappointing. The cast includes Dennis Miller, Angie Everhart, Corey Feldman, Chris Sarandon, and John Kassir.
"She gets you ready and I finish you off."
I came across this on HBOGO and decided to give it another viewing for the first time in a long time. I always thought this was disappointing, but enjoyed watching the plot unfold. This is not a complete waste of time for fans of the horror genre but I can't say this is a must see either.
"You loosen that head band, okay?"
Plot is pretty standard but like the previous Crypt flick is does have a wonderful array of makeup and prosthetic effects all over the show with blood squirting and fangs flying, nothing you haven't seen before but it looks good. Casting is drab but does include 80's horror comedy star Sarandon and 80's teen star Feldman both of which raise the film slightly, Angie Everhart looks delicious as 'Lilith'.
You know what your gonna get with this franchise so your either gonna love it or hate it. Personally I view these films as a great opportunity to see fantastic examples of hands-on horror makeup effects, normally without much CGI, plus they are always good fun on a no-brainer level.
Even worse than it was the first time I watched it.