Ted (2012)

TOMATOMETER

AUDIENCE SCORE

Critic Consensus: Ted's "romance versus bromance" plot is familiar, but the film's held aloft by the high-concept central premise and a very funny (albeit inconsistent) script.

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Movie Info

Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane brings his boundary-pushing brand of humor to the big screen for the first time as writer, director and voice star of Ted. In the live action/CG-animated comedy, he tells the story of John Bennett (Mark Wahlberg), a grown man who must deal with the cherished teddy bear who came to life as the result of a childhood wish...and has refused to leave his side ever since. -- (C) Universal
Rating:
R (for crude and sexual content, pervasive language, and some drug use)
Genre:
Comedy
Directed By:
Written By:
In Theaters:
 wide
On DVD:
Runtime:
Studio:

Cast

Mark Wahlberg
as John Bennett
Mila Kunis
as Lori Collins
Matt Walsh
as Thomas
Jessica Barth
as Tami-Lynn
Aedin Mincks
as Robert
Patrick Stewart
as Narrator
Norah Jones
as Herself
Sam J. Jones
as Himself
Tom Skerritt
as Himself
Brett Manley
as Young John
Ralph Garman
as John's Dad
Alex Borstein
as John's Mom
Robert Wu
as Asian Man "Ming"
Melissa Ordway
as Michelle
Max Harris
as Greenbaum Kid
Zane Cowans
as Kid #1/Young Ted's Voice
Zane Cowans
as Young Ted's Voice
T.J. Hourigan
as Kid #2
Owen Clarke
as Kid #3
Kristina Ellery
as Heavenly
Katelyn Lorren
as Cherene
Chanty Sok
as Angelique
Sara Fischer
as Sauvignon Blanc
Cassie Djerf
as Waitress
Joe Siriani
as Guy at Table #1
Patrick Shea
as Guy at Table #2
Henry Penzi
as Partygoer (Ted's Buddy)
Tania Cabrera
as Girl at Party
Colton Shires
as Teenage John
Viera Andrea Moya
as Plymouth PR Worker
Hajee Kim
as Club Girl
Shawn Thornton
as Crazy Guy
Eric Weinstein
as Stagehand
Danny Smith
as Waiter
Mike Nikitas
as Newscaster
Robin Hamilton
as Female Newscaster
Mike Henry
as Southern Newscaster
Show More Cast

Critic Reviews for Ted

All Critics (204) | Top Critics (43)

Sure, MacFarlane, you can make us laugh, but it's time to grow up. Seriously.

Full Review… | July 31, 2012
Time Out
Top Critic

Everything goes on too long -- Ted's carousing, Lori's watchful waiting, John's wistful indecision.

Full Review… | June 29, 2012
Wall Street Journal
Top Critic

It's a goofy premise pursued with crass -- as well as sentimental -- relish.

Full Review… | June 29, 2012
Denver Post
Top Critic

You'll feel the warmth and camaraderie of a Bostonian and his little sentient bear.

Full Review… | June 29, 2012
Film.com
Top Critic

I tried to resist but couldn't.

Full Review… | June 29, 2012
NPR
Top Critic

The idea of a toy that comes to life - and then won't go away - isn't a bad one. Too bad that "Ted" manages to overstay its welcome without ever really coming to life itself.

Full Review… | June 28, 2012
Newark Star-Ledger
Top Critic

Audience Reviews for Ted

I don't get how some films (mainly comedy) at times seem to take an old actor/franchise and completely flaunt him/it like product placement. In this film for some reason Seth MacFarlane has used Sam L. Jones of 'Flash Gordon' fame in what seems to be some kind of agreement to try and reboot his career. Well that's how it comes across to me anyway haha no other reason for him being there really. I'm guessing its in a typical 'Family Guy' style just to have random off the wall moments with cameos. So Seth MacFarlane breaks into the movies with this 'Family Guy' orientated comedy. I say 'Family Guy' orientated because even though it has nothing to do with FG the main character of Ted sounds just like Brian and Peter from FG (yes I know that's how MacFarlane sounds in reality), he wrote it with FG writers, plus he utilizes FG voice actress Mila Kunis also, so its home from home in a way. I expected this to be totally downright funny and hilariously filthy, it was but not as much as I hoped for. Yes there are some grand bits of dialog that sound so cynical and sharp with MacFarlane's well spoken tones but they are few and far between. Even the swearing isn't as cool as you would think. At first you think its gonna be awesome to finally here Peter and Brian Griffin use bad profanity but it wains fast. At first its highly effective but as time passes the novelty where's off. Its like a sexy sultry woman dressed in a tight skimpy revealing outfit, its amazingly hot and never fails to keep you excited. Then you see the same woman completely naked...straight away she no longer becomes as hot because all the mystery is gone, she's right there in the buff with nothing left to hide. So in other words when we see 'Family Guy' without swearing its actually more effective than if it had swearing, because it makes you use your imagination and I think comes across funnier. It works for this film (at times) I'm just saying hearing MacFarlane swear wasn't as funny as I thought it would be (can anyone beat Cartman in those stakes?). Hope you all get what I'm saying. As for the rest its kinda average really, nothing much happens in the film until the finale which does get a whole lot better. Kudos to Giovanni Ribisi with his excellent Norman Bates style father character, easily the best thing to watch towards the end. The sequence where he is dancing in front of the TV to Tiffany is creepy as fudge plus hilarious at the same time...yet I'm not sure why, I think it was the pelvic moves. There are a few weirdly eerie moments in the film, probably down to the fact its based around a living teddy bear. The point where Ted fights Wahlberg is kinda creepy in a disturbing horror type way. I reckon its suppose to be a take on the sequences in 'Family Guy' where Peter fights that large chicken character (seems to use the same sound effects too). Was it suppose to be funny?! Seeing Ted having sex, being with hookers and dating hot women is also rather odd, why would a real woman wanna go out with a teddy bear?? Yes its a fantasy film but really? Other than that it does satisfy to a degree, its just not as good as it could of been methinks. Ending was sweet but totally predictable lame fluff, Wahlberg was miscast in my opinion (the guy can't act, why does no one see this?!) and clearly MacFarlane has a 'Flash Gordon' fetish. He stuck Sam Jones in there why again? (looks good for his age though, can't deny that). Sorry for comparing 'Family Guy' to this so much, hard not to really...oh and for typing it a a lot too.

Phil Hubbs
Phil Hubbs

Super Reviewer

½

High profile comedy (due to McFarlane's name on it) interestingly/ironically about a man/boy choosing to grow up. There's a problem though when the technical reality of Wahlberg and Kunis relating to a animation (which they really do quite well) is more interesting than the story. Not to say that there aren't good bits in it, but those are mostly what were used in the pre-release trailer. In other words, meh.

Kevin M. Williams
Kevin M. Williams

Super Reviewer

The ending was stupid and resolved none of the issues that had led to their relationship crisis.

Letitia Lew
Letitia Lew

Super Reviewer

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